2005-03-08 - 9:50 a.m. Not So nice Sex Urban Myths. This entry is about sex. I figure that the safest time to write an entry like this is on a Tuesday, because it�s the worst day of the week and very rarely are people worked up over anything. This isn't about beautiful sex either. this is about urban myths, and sex which I never have, nor never will want to experience. So I was wondering. How many of you out there incorporate animals into their sexual acts? I mean, I know we�ve all tried the old paper towel roll trick. You know the one -- where you put the gerbil or mouse into the tube and stick the other end of the tube into your rectum. Then you stuff paper towels in one end (preferably the one not in your rectum) and then you light it on fire. You light it on fire so the gerbil or mouse or whatever will run up into you prostate area, and wiggle around, because we all know how good that feels. And then the thing dies from inhaling the smoke and then as it twitches from death and spazming, well that is the sexual gratification that only a fine ana1 sex connoisseur could enjoy. Honestly. I was told this story in High school. Along with two of my other favorite sexual stories� I would say that this one, with the animal is the third sickest story I have heard of sexually. The second worst I will save for the end. _______________________________________ But one of my favorite sexual stories was about a dog named Bingo. I don�t actually remember the name because its not important. As the story goes, a girl is having a surprised party thrown for her, and all of her friends and family are hiding in the basement. She comes home and starts calling to bingo, who is also in the basement with everyone else. She�s moving all around the house, and is looking for the dog. Eventually, she goes to the kitchen and looks to be making some food. Finally, after not being able to find the dog, she swings open the basement door simultaneously saying the name �Bingo� when her parents and friend yell surprise. They yell this, but it is in fact they who are surprised as they see the birthday girl standing there in her birthday suit, with nothing but peanut butter smeared on her crotch. You see she wanted the dog to give her oral sex. ______________________________ Now finally the only sexual story today not about animals is also the grossest in my book. Honestly. This was a tale told to me long ago, and please for the love of god, don�t read on if you don�t want to be grossed out. Fe1ching. Why put that �1� in there. Because I do not want to be googled for this. Do you know the term? If not, it is a practice after ana1 sex just to warn you. This tale was told to me by the Vomiting Cod who was informed of it via his sister who was older. It hasn�t changed my life, but it has certainly effected it. The idea is this. After having ana1 sex without a condom, and the guy lets loose in the girl or guys ass, this process goes from bad to worse. The idea is you stick a straw in the anus and use your mouth to remove the seamen. This is disgusting. I apologize, but I will say, I warned you. | |||||||||||
