2005-02-01 - 12:43 p.m.

An Unbearable Title

I�ve been thinking a lot about Polar Bears recently.

The Polar Bear is a creature that just really didn�t get it together. I mean, don�t get me wrong, it�s a majestic beast that has developed into a devastating killing machine. But really it�s just a bear that got lost.

Its not like the Polar bears ancestors were like, hey, it really efing cold here, lets stick around.

They were like�oh god�where are we�we need food!

So the skinny ones died, the fat ones live, turned white, and stuck around ice fishing.

But why I have really been thinking about polar bears is how freaking fast they are. Listen they can run at 30 miles an hour, and swim forever at up to 8miles an hour.

Do you know how fast that is in the water? Its faster than most average people can run. I can run a 8 minute mile, maybe three if it was for my life but more than that and I would drop.

That�s on land.

In the water I used to do a mile in Twenty two minutes. The freaking bear can do that in 8 minutes.

Plus they drink Coke.

These white devils rule the artic. They just have no natural hunter and nothing to fear. They are bigger than North American Grizzlies.

Plus they are pretty cute. Like � I�d do one.

They look like good kissers.

I can get behind the only other animal that clubs baby seals�but actually get away with it.

And plus�they know Kung Fu

And can dance

And finally here is ice sculpture of a P-Bear (as I would call them) humping an igloo.

before - After

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