My Super Sweet 16
Bigpimpin Did this on Monday, but I planed to do it all along. But he beat me, so here's the credit. Or the shout out.
I know you�ve heard or seen it. It�s an MTV program where the lousy rich throw their children stupid ass parties. And I�m talking expensive parties�that are out of control.
I have been singing to stupid theme song �SWEET SIXTEEN� all weekend driving all humans within 30 feet crazy unless they make a saving throw DC 15
Lets break it down. I want to make a comment, and then rate the person in the show. So I will rate the person on the follow categories on a scale from 1 to 10.
In touch with Reality (ITR) (10 being one with the common man, 1 being Paris Hilton�s child)
Likeability (L) (10 being you thought they deserved their billions of dollars, 1 being you want to rob them)
Princess Factor (PF) (10 being they need attention at all times, 1 being they were hard working and respectable)
Hotness (H) (let me remind you, that these are 15 year olds)
Chance of Making it in the real World (RWC) (1 being they will crash and burn, 10 being they will be very successful even if they didn�t have money)
1) The first show was two girls who wanted to hire the Chili Peppers to play their show. Beyonce accepted to do it, but it cost 500,000 dollars, and it wasn�t worth it for an hour. Good God. These two girls were fun to watch because the blonde one was so jealous of the dark haired one, that in the recap, she had dyed her hair black to become more like her friend.
ITR -- I would give them a 5. I think they know they have a lot of money, but at no point did I see them thinking that made them superior to anyone. Unlike others. Plus the party�s proceeds went to Breast Cancer Research. Mad Credit there.
L -- The blonde girl wasn�t likeable at all because she was so insecure so a 3. But the dark hair girl was like an 8, because she was nice and not that conceited. Plus, in a later show she proclaimed another sweet sixteen to be better than hers.
PF -- 3 The black hair girl took a punch to the face and didn�t complain about it.
H -- The dark haired one was like an 8. For 15 she was too attractive. The blonde one was like 6 and with dark hair was like 4. Honestly�the new hair she had on the recap show was horrible.
RWC -- I think the first girl is a 7. She�s nice and likable, and reminds me a 15 year old Kristen Davis. The other one is a two. I think she is due for utter horror in her future with or without her money.
2) This is the episode where a Arabian looking girl has her Sweet Sixteen party. It costs nearly 200,000 dollars, she flies to Paris to get her dress, she �won�t settle for less than the Range Rover� and she says she can get whatever she wants from her parents if she just pushes. Also, she might have implants.
ITR -- She is a 1. She is in no way in touch with reality. Everything she does is above existence. She is above the common man. The only redeemable factor is she�s not that mean to people outside of her family.
L -- She isn�t that likable. A 4. You want to beat her, but she�s genuinely spoiled so at least my heart understands she 15 and might come out of it. In the post interview she also regretted some of the things she did and said, so that made me like her more. But god, she�s a rich bitch. She was carried in by 4 barley clothed men�to her SWEET SIXTEEN!
PF -- She was a 10. This was the biggest princess on Sweet 16�and that�s saying something.
H -- 8 She looked 20�at 15. It was due to the possible implants. My girlfriend almost fell over when she was trying on these dresses which were cleavage city.
RWC -- Her Dad hinted she could take over the business someday. This, of course, will result in the end of the business. 2. This girl is nothing without money. Plus she�ll be too addicted to sex videos and designer drugs to worry about the Real World. (incidentally I can�t wait for �My Super Sweet Out of Rehab Party�)
3) The next one was the most redeemable as a human, and also the least attractive. I think though that if this was all of the super sweet sixteen no one would have watched, because we really love to hate these girls. This girl was smart and grounded, but had a very wild mother who got loaded and passed out beads at her birthday party and pulled up waiter�s shirts feeling them up. The daughter had a silent crush on this Phantom Kid that MTV announced when he came in. It would be like if Angela had Jordan Catalano announced when he came into the Halloween dance. Anyway�my point is this was a good party that wasn�t too expensive and really the drama came from the daughters terrible relationship with her parents.
ITR -- 9 This girl gets it. She probably needs to loose up a bit.
L -- 7 She was likeable but a little crazy really unable to get past the disappointing men in her life which made her seem a bit unstable, but she handled the streakers from the party wonderfully. She made friends out of enemies.
PF -- 3 She wanted to be the Princess of her party, but that�s where it ended. And honestly? It was her party! I can�t fault this girl.
H -- 3 I mean. She wasn�t that cute. She wasn�t even that stylish.
RWC -- 9 I can pretty much promise you she�s the antithesis of her party mom and she�ll make something of herself money or not.
4) Hart. Hart is probably my favorite. This is because the Dad was the biggest enabler ever. He practically was teaching his son the best way to throw a hissy fit. Plus Hart was just ridiculous. Screaming stupid shit. Getting his ass whooped at Tennis. Having a Red Bull drinking contest. Popping his collar up like Don Johnson. Fantastic. This one drove my girlfriend the most insane.
ITR -- Hart was in touch with reality. Just a strange one. He�s a party boy who probably should start smoking pot ASAP. He was just a �don�t care about school� but cares about �everything else� type of kid. He was like if the kid from Rushmore was popular.
L -- For me (2) for girls (9). Really. Girls loved this guy. He�s apparently very attractive to the ladies, and I�ll admit, that tall dim witted slow collar up guy would be exactly who I would want if I were a girl. I heart Hart.
PF -- N/A. Straight guys can�t be princesses. He just was a mega Chitlan. The more stressed things got the more worried he became about acting cool.
H -- 10. I�d do him. hahahahaha
RWC -- 6 Hart�s gonna make it cause of connections and he�s not utterly unconfident, but lets just say this isn�t the guy I would want to trust to land a plane I was on. Put him in an office somewhere.
5) The next one was about a poor girl who got spectacularly rich and got breast implants. She denies it, but Gumpy knows when they defy gravity, there�s been a little work done. She�s a total bitch. This girl was the biggest bitch of them all, and I loved it. She�s new to town, but even still she is rejecting people and playing God and loves the power. She�s only concerned with how others see her. She just wants to make other people jealous. She invites her poor friends to feel better about herself. This one is awesome.
Incidentally the two trophy wives on Hart�s episode and this one look exactly the same. I�m thinking stepford wife.
ITR -- 0. It should be like a 5. She WAS poor and now she�s the richest Paris Hilton clone out there. It�s sad. For that you get a different standard than a trust fund baby.
L -- 2. Again, you like her as much as you liked a 15 year old Paris Hilton. Trainwreck. Her dad hired a bouncer to make sure guys didn�t grind with her. Her poor friends were really cool though. I liked them.
PF -- 7. She�s a pain, she whines, but she�s not a mega princess. She takes the �I deserve this� route, but wasn�t carried into her party by half dressed men. I don�t remember more than two hissy fits.
H -- 8. She honestly wasn�t that pretty. I mean she wasn�t ugly and she was done up and had those implants, but she wasn�t that great looking. So why the 8? She was 15 and looked 24.
RWC -- 4. She won�t crumble in the Real world, but its not going to be pretty. She came from being poor and could go back, but it would be like trying to take a crap into a Dixie cup. You COULD do it.
6) Finally the worst one was Cee-Lo�s daughter who was having her sweet 15 birthday. Yes�you heard me. She was 14. And then you might ask �who�s Cee-Lo� and the answer is he�s a hot Atlanta rapper. So hot you�ve never heard of him�and yet�he�s got 400,000 for his daughters 15th birthday party. Go Cee-Lo Go-Cee Lo
Anyway, the party was the most ridiculous me fest ever. She had photos taken of her. She had a fashion show with real models and her. She sang her song to everyone and it was terrible. She was helicopter in wearing a designer jump suit. She had personal ushers deliver her invitations with the statement, if you don�t bring a gift (or money) you don�t get in.
ITR -- 1. She gets 1 point for being 14. She looses 10 for being egotistical, egocentric, and a horrible human being.
L -- 2. I honesty would challenge you to be this girl�s friend. Unless you were into her as much as she was, its hopeless. She talks about herself in the third person. These people are unstoppable and nearly impossible to befriend. That�s what Gump thinks.
PF -- 9. The other girl was still a bigger princess, but this girl had model shots taken of her to have displayed around the entire room for decorations at her party. Can you imagine doing that? I hope not.
H -- 5. She wasn�t ugly. She wasn�t pretty. She was 14. She put herself in a fashion show with real models. I can�t get by that. It made her look so unattractive. She�s like 5�2�.
RWC -- 2. If she got hit by a bus, she�s ask someone to take her picture. I predict she�ll die of a drug overdose. Is that wrong?
Speaking of which, here is how the other 5 will die.
1) The Two girls will die a natural death.
2) The Arabian girl will be murdered by her football player husband.
3) The smart uptight girl will die of heart disease.
4) Hart will die of a stomach ulcer
5) The Blonde Girl will die of a saline leak, but perhaps if we are lucky she�ll get hit by a bus. The thing is I can�t imagine any time she�d be close enough to a bus to be struck by one.
Here is something really silly of a guy who got Wolverine Claws and took a lot of pictures of him perched all around his house. It�s worth glimpsing at.
