2005-04-12 - 9:40 a.m. On Love and Sex If you had to choose between being in love with all your ex�s, or none of them, which would you choose? In all honesty I haven�t dated all that much because my current girlfriend has been a great match. But I have always wondered what people believed. If you were the type to date and break up with lots of girls (or guys), but slept with most of them is that better or worse than the type of person who is love with all his or her ex�s. What I am saying is this. Lets say you were to date someone. Would you rather date someone who had slept with a lot of people, but really loved very few of them. OR Would you rather date someone who had been in love with every one of their ex�s. Lets assume for the moment that both of them will be equally in love with you. The choice sometimes seems simple at first, but someone who constantly falls in love is a very dangerous type of person. While the casual sex person does bring a lot into the bedroom with them, the emotional baggage isn�t there. One of my roommates has a lot (somewhere in the 50�s) notches on his bed post. But love? I doubt many of those are love. Meanwhile someone who has constantly been in love is also a problem because I believe that when you love someone you really give up a bit of yourself and it stays with them. The memories and moments of your life are tied in with someone else who isn�t your partner and thus, well, that�s something that stays in a relationship forever. I have found over my many years also that guys get over casual sex easier than love, and girls get over love easier than casual sex. Disclaimer: I know lots of opposites of this as well Often I find, however, that girls who have been one night standed often get feelings of doubt and rejection afterwards. Meanwhile when they end relationships they usually are able to move on after a certain point. Men on the other hand often times pine for women for their entire lives after they have been dumped, but can sleep with a girl and never think twice about it again. Except, of course, when they are masturbating. Freude was right when he said we aren�t alone in our beds, but the question remains, what is more whorish; having lots of vacant meaningless sex, or never moving on past ex�s and thus never really being able to give yourself to someone new? | |||||||||||
