Comments:

alyssa - 2005-04-12 10:02:11
good entry and questions; i liked the analysis that girls get over love faster than guys, but guys get over sex quicker... true assessment that i wouldn't necessarily allow myself to vocalize in my obstinance to generalize characteristics of the two sexes. that's entirely too technical, isn't it? i had to change my password, then forgot it so i can't log into email. i'll drop you a note once i finally make it to campus and get a new one. GO HEELS! (ps--the protest was amazing)
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alyssa - 2005-04-12 10:02:23
good entry and questions; i liked the analysis that girls get over love faster than guys, but guys get over sex quicker... true assessment that i wouldn't necessarily allow myself to vocalize in my obstinance to generalize characteristics of the two sexes. that's entirely too technical, isn't it? i had to change my password, then forgot it so i can't log into email. i'll drop you a note once i finally make it to campus and get a new one. GO HEELS! (ps--the protest was amazing)
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pig - 2005-04-12 10:02:58
Very thought provoking. Thank you.
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alyssa - 2005-04-12 10:04:31
i just made a comment and so got shut out by diaryland. you have robbed me of my words, goddammit. i'm locked out of email right now. it would be embarassing if it just took forever to post and i'm repeating myself. hmm.
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chillier - 2005-04-12 10:13:09
I'd definitely rather be with someone who was whorish in bed rather than whorish in love. How can you compete with a love that has never been recovered from? Also, I'd always be wary that if that old person (or persons) showed up I would be shown the door.
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Krissie - 2005-04-12 10:21:31
I think that you should love everyone you have sex with. And I would love to have sex with someone I love. And I love sex.
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Lu - 2005-04-12 10:34:57
I'm addicted to love, and it's true what you said about giving pieces of yourself to every person you love. And I can admit that with me, there comes a lot of emotional baggage and expectations. Casual sex is nice in theory, but when you're with someone who loves to love, chances are you're just getting yourself in trouble. Therefore, i'd choose the opposite of myself, when we're talking about sex. It is DEFINITELY better to sleep with someone who has never really been in love. They're probably better in bed and there would be no expectations afterward. But lovers are always very passionate when it comes to sex, so it depends what kind of sex you want, I guess. ;)
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hmmness - 2005-04-12 10:44:13
I broke up with the last when I realised I wasn't over someone else. Who wasn't even an ex, just a very close friend who had always felt like more than a friend ...messy stuff. But I knew it wasn't right to stay with the current guy when I realised that. AND i never slept with the current-guy, as I didn't feel very close to him. So I told the close friend how I felt, and broke up with the other guy for him. Was not fun... Eventually it came to nothing with the close friend, after all that. I was such a fool for him. He had to break my heart over and over for me to realise that. Never felt so shattered and hopeless and worthless in my life. But it was something I needed to know, or I'd never let go of that hope that he was the one for me. Spoke to him for the first time yesterday and felt pretty okay about it. For once. I can move on providing our friendship can still be saved, even if he doesn't really deserve it. Otherwise I'd always feel unhappy when thinking of how it was all such a waste. So In my rambley way I guess I think you're spot on. x
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andreeb - 2005-04-12 10:47:54
That stuff is so complicated. I thought I was in love with almost all of my exes, but wasn't. I was just enmeshed. I always wished I could be casual about all that, and still would want to be that way if I were ever single again, but I doubt it would happen. I'm an idiot that way.
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Ellen - 2005-04-12 10:51:03
Well, let's give my opinion. They both have psychological problems. Most people who have a lot of sex are deep down insecure with themselves, thus they can't settle down with just one person. A whore is a person considered sexually promiscuous. A person who can never move on past ex�s and isn't able to give themselves up to someone new has emotional problems as well. Obviously. The sad thing - they both crave attention. I guess it's all in how you view a whore. Do you actually see a whore as someone who can't move on to love another? I don't. A whore is someone who can't live without sex. Not being able to get over your ex's doesn't make you a whore. It just makes you an emotional bitch. Do you think I could tell a patients that? ;)
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hmmness again - 2005-04-12 10:52:05
another thought, I hated the fact my ex seemed to have never felt strongly for anyone. Even in his past long-term-serious relationships I don't think he'd ever been in love. I just *knew* he would never fall for me either...so I guess he had to go. It never felt like anything special, i thought I was worth more than that. So maybe if someone has been in love, you at least know theyre open to the possibility of loving someone else? x
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betty - 2005-04-12 11:07:55
hm... good entry. good question. THe serial lover is one that is in love with the thrill of falling for someone. the casual sex guy, when he falls in love will more likely stay with the girl he's in love with.
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Ginger - 2005-04-12 11:45:18
I once had sex with a guy and he told me that he loved me. What does that mean?
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Kelly - 2005-04-12 11:57:14
I don't see that a person who has multiple partners where love is not involved is necessarily psychologically challenged or craving attention. It is human nature to crave attention, everyone wants, needs, desires contact, love and affection with others so that could be applied to nearly everything. I don't think a whore is anything more than just a derogatory name that people use to make someone feel bad about themselves and as for it being someone who cant live without sex, thats just impossible, isnt it? Has anyone ever died from not getting laid? I think that some, but not nearly all, people are secure enough with themselves to be able to fullfil a basic human desire without getting complicated or hurtful about it, who understands that the guilt and conditions that go along with sex are unnecessary.
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Mary - 2005-04-12 12:45:15
Sounds like a very familiar situation:) I think, if I get to choose, I choose the guy who has gotten over most of the ex's. It's more important for a guy to not have been SO in love with previous women because I think men have to sacrafice more as boyfriends/husbands/dads. Thus, the total devotion/in-love thing needs to be the strongest ever when he matches up with me. The ATL ex falls into my desired category, thank God, or I would quickly get over him. His reasons for breakups usually are pretty solid, although he has done the deal with one-night-stands turning into girlfriends (yuck!).
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pig - 2005-04-12 13:37:41
Yeah I don't know what you are talking about either but that's quite alright. What was the subject of all this again? Nevermind.
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Pandi - 2005-04-12 14:05:19
You're assuming casual sex is whorish in the first place. And, not for nothing, but I think Ellen is very wrong. Some people just like the nookie. Too much moralizing, Gumpy. Sex is natural, sex is good. Not everybody does it. Not everybody should. Live and let live. Judge not lest ye be judged. And all that happy horseshit. Love ya!
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Liquid Human - 2005-04-12 14:05:22
Everyone should just love everyone else and have sex with everyone else. Problem solved.
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Pandi P.S. - 2005-04-12 14:07:41
Look up the lifestyle of the bonobo. It's a certain kind of chimpanzee. They have sex with every bonobo they meet, except mother/son, father/daughter (I think). It's how they say hello. And they're awfully happy chimpanzees. Very peaceful society they have there. We're primates, too. Yep. GO BONOBO!
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Gumphood - 2005-04-12 15:21:28
Call me a prude, but I really wouldn't want to have sex with every human I saw. I mean, I take public transportation.
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Pam - 2005-04-12 20:38:46
I know (and dated, back in my single days) people of both types, and those somewhere in between. Honestly, I think the type who fall in love over and over again worried me more - it always seemed more like they tried really really hard to be in love because they needed that to feel complete or something. Like it wasn't so much about whatever partner in the series of lost loves they were talking about at the moment, but themselves, if that makes any sense. It makes it kind of hard to feel special when that person is "in love" with you.
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Ellen - 2005-04-12 21:05:58
Hrm. Strange. Did I place judgement on anyone? Nope. I looked up the word whore in the dictionary, and that's what it said. The psychological stuff is just, well, from taking psychology classes. The end.
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Phil - 2005-04-12 21:38:07
Chimpanzee's have lots of sex in a peaceful society but they also eat their own snot. However I see your point. A statistic pointed out to me is that every girlfriend I've had since school has married the first person they dated after me. Did I ruin them for casual sex or prepare them for love? Maybe I'm just an idiot (general concensus)
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sharon - 2005-04-13 00:55:26
man, i must be abnormal because i usually have sex on the first date but i rarely date...[it takes FOREVER to get me on a "date"]. i have never loved any of them...so..i guess i'm a prude. don't love anyone, don't sleep with a lot of people. hmm. [i thought i had a point...]
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Stacy - 2005-04-13 09:27:07
Hmm, I've been on both sides of the fence. I've been with someone who gave his heart to few people (namely only myself). It would appear he is having the MOST difficult time getting over me. It has been over four years. For me, maybe longer (read: I think I stopped loving him long before we broke up). The guy I'm with now was a complete man-whore (I call him this in jest). It hurts me more to hear about his steady loves (two ex wives and myself), than his man-whorish activities!
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Pandi-on-fire - 2005-04-13 14:37:15
Then there are those who fool around and fall in love. And now everyone has that song in his or her head. Muah!
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hcatty - 2005-04-13 15:56:40
I was having fun reading through all these comments, but since every other one is a complete essay on the truths of your entry and/or their personal feelings on the matter, and I'm at work, I don't have time to finish. But here ya go: I'd rather have the one who doesn't love easy. To know it really takes alot to get his heart, and to know I have it, would give me a certain security. I'd trust him not to hurt me. Even if it didn't last, (due to the promiscuity or not) there would still be a level of trust and hopefully a friendship. Whereas someone who falls in and out of love at the snap of a finger would undoubtably crush my heart, and leave me floundering without a clue what to do. There's my essa... I mean contribution!
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