2005-07-25 - 8:40 a.m. The Fear of Waking Up. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I wonder why my alarm hasn�t gone off. Sometimes I wonder if it did and I didn�t hear it. I used to fear being late for the bus. I now fear being late for the train. This is how we begin every week, every day. In a mild mixture of panic and fear. Its no way to live, but at the same time its how we must live, because left to our own desires we would typically not be able to live our lives without the money we make. To me its not the time at work, or the stress of being laid off, or the authority figures that have to keep you working that bothers me. It�s that feeling when I wake up that I will be late. I want that back. I was watching the Professional (Leon) and the scene where he thinks about killing Natalie Portman's charecter was touching. He wanted to kill her in her sleep, and she would never know how she died or feel the pain of waking death. I want back that feeling you got on Summer vacation before you started working when you wanted to wake up. I want that feeling of Christmas day when there is something to wake up for. But you get paid to suffer. And I gotta pay the bills. Happy Monday Everyone. | |||||||||||
