2004-03-02 - 3:25 p.m. Embarrassment It�s funny how much the past means. High School was so little time, I mean, I have almost been out of it for longer than I was in it and yet it�s by far the largest part of my life. It�s like one month in high school is like 4 months now. How easily the Seasons meld together now. I can�t imagine what it�s like out in Cali where it�s one way year round. Do they even feel the passing of time. I had my high school reunion about a year ago, maybe a bit more. It was a spectacle. I don�t know about where you are in life, or what high school is like, was like, or will be like for you, but I know that ours was special. Our class broke attendance records with only the truly outcast not coming. But that isn�t to say that some people didn�t come. Specifically I know three of my close friends didn�t come, for one reason or the other. I think the biggest reason is embarrassment. For example: The people who were the bullies and the ruffians in the halls did not attend. The Theory: They have become more embarrassed with the way their life went, and do not desire to confront the rest of their class. I actually met on of the kids who I went to school with about 3 years ago at a bar where I used to work. He was a twin, and the other half of him was not in attendance. I was underage, and he probably was too, but there was absolutely no way I was going to card him. These two twins were wrestlers, and they would kill you sooner than look at you. They built up this strange ledged amongst our friends for both their tag team ferocity, and they ability to have sex prematurely tag teaming unsuspecting woman, as if these girls were unaware that they were twins. I mean, that was the appeal. So he came into the bar, and recognized me, because I sure as shit recognized him. My world and our myth was slightly shattered that day because he made an odd selection. First we had talked about the fact that he now laid pipes for sprinkler systems, which was an honest living. He seemed somewhat regretful, but mostly tired. He looked slightly older, but not much more than the five years he seemingly had on me in High School. He said, �you were smart right?� in the way only a North East Accent can highlight. I nodded, which I felt was the best way to respond. You see, openly flaunting intellect could provoke him into killing me; while denying it could make him look the fool. Hence the slight non-committal head nod. It�s saved my life many a day. But then he threw me for a loop. He ordered a Mudslide. This man, who I imaged tearing the head of a bottle off with his teeth and eating the bottlecap of his Budweiser (not bud light), had ordered a girl drink.. He ordered a flaming mudslide. I felt like returning to this man of steel, this mythical bully and asking him if he just wanted scotch instead, or a prairie fire. But he had got off work and he wanted a mudslide. A little piece of me died that day. __________________________________________________________ This was originally going to be about an encounter at the reunion. You see both my ex�s were there and this had been five/seven years since we had broken up. Both of them had easily moved on and dated other people. But they both were still angry at me, or appalled at me. I don�t know which. I was way too drunk. (And I mean drunk) The first one is much more subtle as she will be cordial but bottle up her aggression. The second just avoided me the whole night. My question I suppose is, since I don�t harbor any ill feelings towards either of them, why do you think they wanted nothing to do with me? Now at a certain point, my complete drunken stupor would be the cause, but at first this wasn�t the case. Are there things at work that I don�t understand? Girls, what would cause you to avoid your ex�s at reunions? I mean you obviously cared about this person, and had a lot of positive feelings towards them at some point? Breakups are breakups but years later shouldn�t they be able to be laughed over? Remember when I wrote that horrible �I love you note?� or �When I put your watch in the microwave and destroyed it?� But it didn�t happen�we they embarrassed? Or was I just an embarrassment? | |||||||||||
