2004-03-03 - 1:40 p.m. Mooko Sometimes with all the time in the world you can�t think of anything funny. And then sometimes you can just magically think up a word like Mooko. My friends are lame. This much is clear. But sometimes we are really lame. To preface this you need to understand the time. It�s High School and we are lunching boys. Boys in High School are junk food crazy munchatrons (which I imagine is this sort of munching machine) where we could eat entire bags of Doritos for breakfast, big cookies for lunch, and then McDonalds for dinner. We wouldn�t put on a pound either. But in High School we had 10 periods a day, and seven classes in those ten periods. Now one period was lunch, and one period was homeroom� Actually maybe we had less periods but as any girl will tell you, I don�t know much about periods. But we had �lunch� everyday from 10:30 to 11:15. Hell of a lunch huh? It�s not like we were hungry later. The school system had me eat then, and finally I went to soccer, swimming, or volleyball everyday without eating a thing. I can even believe that I would practive after school with almost no food in my stomach every day. And this is the best part. The food that WAS in my stomach would have been better off in the toilet. Gump�s Meals Example One: 1 Chocolate Milk; 1 prepackaged container of honeynut cheerios; 1 Bucket of Fries. Example Two: Sal�s Pizza (which was a giant slice of pizza that wasn�t really that good since they didn�t really have a good sauce. This was because they often left the sauce in tomato form) and a �big cookie� Example 3: PB&J with carrots. The burgers were way to nasty to eat, and all the good stuff I never got. The chicken nuggets would occasionally have little hard things in them, which I thought could be bone or beak at the time, so I ruled them out. But you know, schools were able to cook the potato in 1,000 different ways. Deep Fried, curled, in the �tot� form, double dipped, baked, mashed, boiled, the list goes on and on. I always appreciated that. The two weirdest items I ever remember the school serving were 1) the Cinnastick and 2) Mooko. The Cinnastick was this long star shaped dough product covered in cinnamon the sugar. But it was long�like probably about a foot long. It was thin, and the star shape was similar to when you would squeeze frosting out of a tube. There was not purpose to the Cinnastick. It was pretty much Fried Dough for lunch. No health value at all. Then there was Mooko. Mooko (Moo- K-oh) was this product that just showed up one day. It had no label. It had no name. It was served in a plastic cup with a spoon. It was served cold. The problem with Mooko was that you didn�t quite know how to consume it. First of all it was not a liquid; that was clear. It wouldn�t move when you shook it. But when you ate it, it would melt right away and become a liquid. The consistency was a bit disturbing. It was heavier than a shake, not as thick as jello, and probably most resembling a dairy queen Blizzard, except instead of soft Serve ice cream, there was a sort of grainy ice slush puppyesque. And the most disturbing part? Mooko was gray. I cold steel gray. I don�t know how many food your can think of that are gray, but the only one I could think up was overcooked pork. So this nebulous gelatin would just look at us, gray as pork-slush puppy blizzard. But here is the thing�it�s good. The damn shit actually tasted okay, and we ate it. And I dare say that most living humans couldn�t eat a full Mooko. It�s just too cold and too heavy to eat. But we got behind this mystery drink/food. We started writing songs about it. We started making games about it. We had Mooko ball (which actually I think came BEFORE we named Mooko, mooko�) which was pretty stupid. I think it basically trying to stop a wadded up paper towel from falling off the table. Okay, so this is super lame. I mean I am talking about a Gray lunch liquid that my friends made up a name for in high school. That�s pretty funny. But mostly lame. | |||||||||||
