Gump's Hood

2004-01-16 - 11:23 a.m.

MFC and damn it's cold

Before - After

Ahhh�.winter.

Today is a wonderful day, it would be even more wonderful if I were breaking up with a girl.

Now you might say, �Gump, how mean�why would you want to break up with a girl in this weather�

First, I would like to detail the weather. It�s -7 this morning, and actually warmer in Anchorage Alaska. The wind chill actually drops it to negative 30-40. Now you may ask what this feels like.

Let me be the descriptor.

That�s like the terminator or details.

Anyway, I was standing waiting for the train for about 5 to ten minutes. You lose track of time when you can�t feel your legs anymore. And I was looking down the tracks for any sign of salvation. And that�s when a gust of wind blew up in my face and teared up my eyes. It hurt.

But then, the strangest thing happened. My salty tear got caught in my eyelash�and then I realized I couldn�t open my eye.

It was so cold, that it froze my tears.

Now this is usual even for me a life long native. Even stranger was to see the ice chunks crashing into the shore by the ocean, since the sea also is freezing.

But this is why I WANT to break up with a girl. See, once you approach her, and you tell her;

�Sorry sweet baby, but things have been a�chagin, and this man�s gotta lay his moss on some other stone. So A B C-ya.�

You can pretty much better the water are coming. But this is the key, in this weather�when she cries�her eyes will freeze shut, and then you are left with a semi-blind ex-girlfriend, and you can sneak out the back without her ever seeing.

It�s like all the pleasure of breaking up, with none of the guilt.

No, but this reminds me of a game that I would like to teach to you all.

Since I am being mean to women already (and not really, cause we all know who is the whinning sissy on the end of the dumping in my relationships) I will teach you MFC.

It�s fun. MFC is a game where you are presented with three decisions to make. You are standing at the edge of a cliff, and there are three people with you.

They can be any three people you want, but you must decided to Marry one (M), fuck one (F), and Chuck one off the cliff.

Now here�s what it means. When you marry someone you must live with them forever, no divorce, and you don�t have sex with that person except for procreation . Fucking someone means you only have sex with them and that�s it. Chucking is the odd man out who gets to die because he is inferior to the other two people.

Now you can make this game really hard, really easy, or just interesting.

So let me give you an example for me: (this will be an easy one)

Jessica Alba, Josie Maran, and Avril Laviegne.

I would marry Jessica Alba, fuck Josie Maran, and chuck Avril.

Or you cold make it really hard.

The Guy who isn�t Bob Sagot or John Stamos from Full House, Danny Glover, and Danny Divito.

I would marry Danny Glover, Fuck the Full House guy, and chuck Danny Divito. But that hurts�

So I will let you try a few.

For the Girls: Ewen McGregor, Orlando Bloom, and Justin Timberlake.

For the Men: Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton

Bonus: Gumphood, The Lead Singer of Nickleback, and that Awful Guy.

So tell me what you think of this game.