Shelly put on her amazon wish list �30 things you should know before you are 30.� While it�s an intriguing title, I would suggest that I will create a better list.
I�m 25.
Here are 25 things that I have learned that YOU need to know before you are 25. If you are over 25, you can just nod your head in agreement.
In the form of a comment
1) Learn to tie your shoes. Velcro is about as cool as the Clap.
2) If she/he will sleep with you before you really know him/her, he/she�s probably got a disease. Wear a rubber, or as my Dad would say� �a safe�.
3) If you shave your nose, the hair grows back black.
4) A girl in a bathtub with a rubber duckie is a naked girl. A guy in a bathtub with a rubber ducky lives with his Mom. (or possibly her decaying corpse)
5) The fine line between being a stalker and romantic depends on if they are cute. (like Brad Pitt could stalk anyone)
6) Don�t trust people who tip too much or too little.
7) If you haven�t been prank called, you don�t have any good friends.
8) No band that you listen to now will ever hold a candle to those of your teenage years.
9) Men move in phases, Khakis OR jeans, but never both. Unless the GAP tells us too.
10) When you are sick, the cure seems to be watching the worst TV imaginable for as long as possible, meanwhile taking naps during that time. Beats any medicine on the Market.
11) Rappers make good actors, Singers do not. (Think 8-mile with Nic LaChey)
12) Never date a friend�s �ex� because at some point they will feel like they are getting dumped by you when you hang out with the significant other.
13) When you have been drinking and someone says �You know what would be awesome � (fill in blank)� The Blank is almost always stupid. (ex let�s stick are balls in the garbage disposal!)
14) Get drunk at bad concerts. Stay sober at good ones.
15) If nothing fictional scares you, you have a poor imagination. Read some Sci-fi
16) If nothing real scares you, you have disconnected with reality. Watch some Maury Povitch.
17) Beer, chainsaws, and snakes don�t mix well.
18) Those triangle cups at water coolers were just a really bad ideas. how the hell do I put it down!?!
19) Do you have a good reason to NOT wash your hands?
20) Ask a kid under 12 where we go when we die. If you don�t like their answer, tell them Santa isn�t real.
21) Don�t fuck around with Dr. Dre. He�ll shoot you. Tu Pac and biggie are dead, but Dre is still strapped with Gats.
22) If you date a girl, and she mentions �ponies� more than once, walk out and leave her with the check. Change your number and your name. You also might want to kill your dog, in case he�s a double agent.
23) Guys: if your friends make fun of you, it�s because they like you and it�s their way of showing it. Girls: if your friends make fun of you it�s because they are jealous backstabbing bitches. You need to sleep with her boyfriend ASAP.
24) The Red Sox will never win the World Series. ( Oh and ARod is the best player in baseball.)
25) Love is wanting someone else to be happier than you; but only because that makes you happy.
Here's a picture of a roommate
