2005-04-20 - 12:12 p.m. MSN and the sounds of the Phone. I was reading an article on MSN about what women wished men knew about sex. Its from MSN so you know it will be good. The first thing is 1) The penis goes in the vagina. Not the mouth. Not the ass. Now, I agree. This is something men don�t know, and never will. Cause listen ladies, its not that we really want it there, its that you don�t want it there. If you just let us do it, we�ll get bored with it and just want vaginal sex. Trust me. (Where is this entry coming from?) 2.) MSN suggests that people�s sex is like a car. You�ve gotta go to the doctor. What the hell does that mean? I read it and it was like �you�re junk will break unless a doctor takes a look at it.� That�s just incorrect. And look at the subject� �WHAT WOMEN WANT MEN TO KNOW�. Last time I checked I never heard a girl whisper in my ear �did you get your blood pressure checked.� 3) The more you pump iron, the less of a two pump chump you will be for the real workout There is nothing worse than going through the whole process of sexual foreplay just to turn into one shot Harry. Apparently the sponsors at MSN want you to believe that if you work out, you�ll get better sexual control. Do you believe this? Please don�t. I think Miller Lite should start spreading these rumors like Axe commercials. Just drink 4 beers. You�ll last forever. Miller Lite, Helping taste lost, and premature ejaculation 4) "A decline in your sexual health may mean something's wrong with your overall health," says Hank C.K. Wuh, M.D., M.P.H., co-author of Sexual Fitness. First. { C.K. --> Crappy Kounselor? Wuh --> the White guy�s woot? M.D. --> Medical Doctor and M.P.H. --> Miles Per Hour? ... This guy is a F.A.G.G.O.T. I rarely use that word. I remember once in �Word Masters� my teacher taught us that faggot was a bundle of sticks. Which of course got turned into a bundle of dicks�which is I how I envision the slang origin of the word began. Back to the point. This co-author is so smart. �When you are sick, you aren�t 100% sexually. So smart. Last time I was puking over the toilet and shit my pants, I was sure in the mood for love. I mean every time I get a cold, all I can think about is how peak performance my sex is gonna be. M.P.H. asshat. 5) People aren�t happy with their sex. The brilliant reporting of MSN tells us this (read closely) -- One in four American women does not enjoy sex, and one in three men across age groups thinks he is sexually inadequate. Meanwhile, All the rest feel unhappy and dissatisfied because they think they are not doing it right, not doing it enough or not doing it the way their partners want them to. According to that statement 1 in 4 doesn�t like sex. 1 in 3 doesn�t think they do it right, and the remaining 71%* of American is unhappy and dissatisfied. So at least 100% of American hates sex? MSN Is FAAAAAANNNNTASTIC. (*this number was obtained from (51% (women) * �) + (49% (men) 2/3) ____________________________________________ This means I am crazy over 24. Well I was calling up Shelly and harassing her and I wanted to get the theme music to 24 for the clock that clicks. Well I would punch it on the phone until I got the tone right. I am so stupid because it took me a few times until I realized if you hit �2� and then �4� that�s the same tone from the show. I�m a fool. A fool in love with Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer has shot 50 people in two season, but two of the 50 lived. He's killed 24 people a season. I'm a number nerd and I love the show!
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