2004-07-16 - 3:39 p.m. Welcome Back Gump!!!! Thank you Mystery Writer X for taking care of my minions, or as I like to call them �friends.� I am back from Philly. Let me just say this swiftly. Philly is the place God created to punish the wicked. Now, in response to the popular 10 things about Gump entry� 1. Accents: I have wonderful accents, and people love them and in turn think I am from the said nation/region I am doing the accent for. Sure they might be �over the top� but certainly I could be seen as a fiery local. 2. Food: This one is true; I like food like Catholics like their genders �separated. I have a three ingredient limit to anything I consume, though due to the fact 4 things go into beer, I believe I will up it to four, but omelets are still out. 3. Flair: Is it flair to flip things? I�m adopted, and I theorize my father was a street performer!! Will you deny me my legacy!!! I do flip my knives occasionally, though I don�t know why. I agree it is embarrassing. However I skip no where! Don�t believe the LIE!!! I only skip when drunk, happy, or gay, which is happy. Or if I am happy that I am gay, which is never, unless I am happy. And I have only smoked when plastered which as my friend will tell you in the equivalent of handing a baby a cigar. It just gets messy real fast. Damn you Canada! 4. Jin Jitsu: Since when is flexibility not a good pick up line! 5. Misnomers: Sure, I might call things weird names, but that�s because they don�t have good names. Sun Screen should have a better name so I would remember it. I don�t forget what Ice Cream is called, but I do forget what Frozen Pudding is called. This is because Frozen Pudding confuses and scares me. 6. Wine Coolers: Do you really think I am a Girl Drink Drunk? Do you really think I am developing a coolata belly? Come on people! 7. Pinky Fingers: They are there for balance, and that is why they extend. I am sad man. 8. Laughing: When mystery writer X laugh she snorts, and poops. And I don�t pee, mostly because I don�t laugh, because nothing is funny when you pee your pants. 9. The 80�s: My mom didn�t believe in Big Hair and Big Bands. Instead I got the 50�s and 60�s. The 70�s and still a mystery to me. I am waiting for Grand Theft Disco. 10. Counting: I don�t know what you all are talking about. I never count anything. (insert lame counting joke most likely involving the Count from seaseme street in a fight with Count Chocula in 3�2�1�) Welcome Back Gump!!!! | |||||||||||
