2006-07-28 - 4:05 p.m. PMA I was walking to work with the New Mrs. Gump. We heard the sounds of a jogger behind us. I turned to look. This is because I look at noises, while Mrs. Gump tells me this is why I get punched a lot. It was a jogger. I saw Mrs. Gump move to the side, and I commented, �don�t � its slowboat�. The Jogger was Asian. And while the reference was �slowboat to China� the real reason was because I�ve seen this Asian jogger before. Whatever doctor thinks its funny to tell people that �running� is a good idea also needs to tell them �how to run�. I�ve see many different international variations of jogging. Slowboat takes the cake. Another one was �Around my Car� guy. He�d wear dress pants and a dress shirt and run circles around his car. He�d wear a sweatband. It took me two months to figure out the intention in his activity. Slowboat was worse. Not for the fact that she runs at a walking pace (which is a feat in of itself) but she also duck runs. Meaning that her feet plant at a 70 degree angle and make the skiing wedge. This, I imagine, slowed her down. She also had one interesting feature. Instead of pumping her fists while �jogging� she opted for doing something else. She would punch her own ass. Not once. Not a couple times. Every time she ran. Punch. In the ass. The good old PMA. The best part about being married is now I have an honest woman to fact check this story. | |||||||||||
