2004-04-28 - 9:59 a.m. Finding A lot of the alums from my HS are concerned! I don�t know if this is good or bad. Anyway, In a related move I am going to switch things up a little bit today. Last night I was listing to NPR, (yes National Public Radio) and there was a fascinating �author� being interviewed. I use quotations around author because he wasn�t writing as much as he was creating. What he does is takes those lost pieces of paper and notes that you sometimes find in couches or on the street or in the trash, that say something, and he collects them. It could be something as simple as a to do list, or a shopping list, or as heartbreaking and complicated as the story of letters found in the trash to a boy who this girl loved that dumped her. The letters kept coming to him, but over time, he stopped opening them and threw them out. So this author discovers 30 letters from this girl to this guy, 12 of which he never opened. I think that this was really neat, and considering the voyeuristic nature of diaryland; a place where you get a snapshot into the lives of people you have never met, and will never meet, I think this could be fascinating. And with that voyeuristic nature in mind, I sometimes myself feel spied upon by people in my life, which isn�t something I mind, but nevertheless it sometimes concerns me, because I try to be open and honest and sometimes peering into the mind of someone you knew or know can be disturbing if something said or written is taken out of context, or sometimes even in context. We are all humans, and no matter what walk of life we come from we all feel the same emotions, we feel the same pain, and we experience the same joys. And in this similarity comes our natural interest in seeing what makes one another think. It�s like eavesdropping on the bus or the train into a conversation that is too loud. It�s like listening outside the door as a couple fights. And so, for a bit, I need to take a break from me. There comes a point when you feel somewhat exhausted from the idea that others are now going through a retrospective of your thoughts over the past year, which are your thoughts about your whole life. I am a private person mostly. This site has helped me express myself better in real life, so I don�t regret it, and in the end I know that I am usually happy. Or at least not sad. We only have the small amount of time we are given to get every drop of life out of this world, and I don�t believe we will get a second chance. God or no God, I believe you have only one shot on earth. So I hope that everyone who has read this diary understands that this is my story. It�s not a good story, but it�s mine. I don�t have exciting moments, or crazy tales, or even worthy adventures to keep it interesting. All I have is the details. And I think about them probably more than I should, because I think that my life should be well examined. I know a lot people who don�t remember their past, or wonder why they did what they did in the past. I wonder sometimes what they DO think about? I wonder if they are more concerned with ideas or things in the future. All I mean by that is in my life, from when I wake up until when I fall asleep, I have memories and experiences. I think that I would be foolish not to try and understand who I am and try to understand what the point of my insignificant existence could possibly be. That being said, I love writing, so I am going to switch it up for a while with a series. The series will be a fictional story about a person named Bryce. It will be nothing by pieces from his life in forms of things he lost, or letters that were sent. It won�t be a narrative and it could be from multiple points in his life. If it starts to suck, let me know and I will switch gears. But the stories should be short and simple. The first entry will be when Bryce is eight and he writes a letter to the toothfairy, which his father finds, and throws away. | |||||||||||
