2004-09-29 - 1:53 p.m. I made a Survey I don�t feel like writing anything interesting. At first I was like, let�s do a survey about ME. It was during a narcissistic fit of self flattery. I went to write the first question. 1) What the best thing about gump? And then I paused, and wanted to puke. Was I actually going to write a survey about me!? Dear God. The answers would have been abysmal like �Gump you have the best!� or �I have a good eye and It�s on you!� or �I can�t believe I am your friend. You had me; I WAS the best thing about you.� Nevertheless, it was the stupidest thing I have ever done. (I wish) So to compound my idiocy, I decided that I needed an entry. However, since I have been inspired to write NOTHING lately that is more interesting that a mouse chasing a cat. (example) The cat was so upset at itself. It didn�t understand why it was so petrified of the mouse, but it just freaked it out, so it ran up the clock. But the stupid clock was so not made for a cat, the cat plunged backwards, forgetting to land on its feet, and fell into the mouse�s open arms. The mouse, of course, died as the cat smushed it, but the true damage had been done�this cat was nothing more than a scardy cat. Nothing interesting about that. I just curse myself that I would feel the need to write something like that. Sometimes thoughts are like farts and better left inside the body. But I suppose sometimes you just got to let them rip. So I made a survey, which I am always mixed about, because I can�t stop asking stupid questions. Each more stupid than the next. Were it an unlimited survey, I would asymptotically approach stupidity the more I asked questions. This, as you math majors know, means I could never truly reach pure stupidity, but instead approach it at a drastically increasing rate. It�s like graphing �TAN X� on your graphing calculator. I love my graphing calculator. That should lose me a few readers, but it�s true. It rules. I would make programs with Kerbing on it during out two period Physics class, and since we were the only white kids in the class (the rest were Asian�s one year younger) we did absolutely nothing and hoped for the white kid B+. I got a B. That being said, there was this one day in physics class where the teacher �the iceman� made the most amazing display of physics. It was the sort of things dreams and Mr. Wizard were made of. He didn�t put 10,000 mousetraps in a box (which I am sure the PA�s of Mr. Wizard just loved doing) but what he did was hang things from the ceiling and make us vote what was going to happen. We were wrong like 90% of the time. It was awesome. I think he might have used magic, but this is because I knew nothing about Physics. Well, the Cod missed that day, and it�s something he should regret for the rest of his life. I mean that. Speaking of Mr. Wizard, why don�t they do a comeback of that show with like Scott Bakula. Like for Adults. Its not like adults have a goddamn idea what the hell is going to happen anymore than the kids do. Christ when my parents were in school they didn�t have air. They had to hold their breath. The earth didn�t get an atmosphere until like 1974. Thanks for nothing Carter. Anyway, I have babbled on enough, in my opinion which is the only one that matters right now. I am playing triva tonight. I can promise only one thing. If I don�t know it, the �audience� will laugh at my answer. Example if I was on jeopardy. Alex: Remember to answer in the form of a question. We have the amazing Ken Jennings with 200,560 dollars, Hazel the housewife with 4,000 (thank god for the sewing category, eh Hazel), and Gumphood with $1. Gump: I thought I was on the Price is Right, sorry. Alex: Our final jeopardy question is Who was the only woman to be awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor? Let�s start with the big loser today, Gump? Gump: What is The point ? Alex: That�s the first question you have answered correctly all night. Hazel? Hazel Heffer: Who is John Kerry? Alex: No sorry, it was just claimed by the Bush Campaign but he in fact did not flip flop sexes. And Ken? Ken Jennings: Who is the only woman to receive a Medal of Honor citation in the award's 138-year history was Dr. Mary Walker, an assistant surgeon and prisoner of war during America's Civil War. Anyway, against my better judgment, I made a survey. It�s not that good, but it�s about the people who read this diary. Take a stab at it if you want to. I will put up my answers later. | |||||||||||
