2005-04-04 - 10:22 a.m. I was in the Hospital On Thursday I kinda collapsed at work from pain. It felt like I had been shot. It felt like my organs we going to explode. I went to the emergency room. Despite my pain and everything, I was a bull and walked to the emergency room. Once there I was triaged and they took blood. One nurse was completely incompetent and could stick me with a needle. She would have made a good torturer. Look at me. I am so white. I see my vein. I pity the black man who meets her. From there, they told me they believed that it was either Kidney stones or some internal organ failure. Yippee. They put me into the cat scan. The cat scan is pretty much a giant sexual simulator. The lie me on a board flat as stiff as a nail. Then a robot voice would tell me breathe. The humans who scampered out of the room (way to make me feel safe) told me to listen to the voice and do exactly what it says. This is all while it feels like a leprechaun climbed up my penis and was kicking my nuts from the inside. The voice first told me to not move much. Then it started moving me in and out of circular hole. I swear the only three things I could think about were 1) Wow, I�m in a lot of pain. 2) I can�t believe I�m taking orders from a robot. This is awesome. 3) Wow, this circular tube looks like a vaginal hole, which makes me�a giant penis. Nurse Ratchet gave me an IV. Rather �tried� to. But it didn�t work and started burning my skin and god did it hurt. I can control pain pretty well, but with the burning IV and the leprechaun, I was out of my head, unable to concentrate and get rid of the pain. That�s when they tried to give me the morphine. They tried once before in the IV, but that just mad it burn more because it wasn�t in my vein, it was in my skin. I said no to the morphine. I had enough. No IV, no drugs. I could take care of it myself. Shelly was there and was very scared when that IV was in. I was in total thrashing �dying on a stretcher fighting off the grim reaper� pain. She was very kind through the whole thing and I was so happy she was there for me. I was then informed that I had kidney stones. And let me be the first to tell you, Kidney stones suck. | |||||||||||
