2006-03-16 - 3:35 p.m. St. Patrick Needed to wear Lingere. The only other arguable holiday is Easter, because it�s the most confusing Holiday in the world. Somehow nailing Jesus to the cross reeped us the Easter Bunny? But that holiday isn�t really celebrated as much as it is observed. Sure you might get together with your family, but the only known activiety is the Easter Egg hunt. My childhood Easter Egg Hunt trauma was when my father hid Cadbury Cream Eggs on the heater. I haven�t been able to eat them since. I was young and fragile and thought my father just killed 12 dozen baby chickens Well okay � look at the three places St. Patrick�s Day is associated with. Boston, Chicago, and Ireland. The two American cities are both great cities and fun to be in, but neither are known for their ladies or fashion. More like their Chowda and Pizza. And Ireland? You think Ireland you think sheep, green, and drinking. To some people that�s sexy � not me. On St. Patties day we often see Men in kilts. Now the irish don�t break the kilts out often, but I�ve yet to meet the woman to find the Kilt a turn on. March is an unsexy month. Rain, cold, flash snow showers. There is almost nothing positive associated with the month at all. At least December there is snuggling by the fire. Who has time for heat in march? Everyone wears green? Green does not say Amor. Green vomit does not (hopefully) remind me of our first date. Come on! Greens a great color, but its not a sensual color. This is why the irish aren�t know for their loving or the cooking. The purpose of St. Patricks day is drinking. But not drinking and hooking up. Or drinking and wearing a shirt of plastic beads. Or dressing up like a nurse and drinking. Its all drinking. Heavy Beer. Dark Guiness. That�s the point of St. Patricks day. Oh and getting England out of Ireland. Does the NRA even exist anymore? The last thing I remember about the NRA was Harrison Ford was in a car that got blown up and then Sinade O�Conner tore up a picture of the pope. The Mascot. The Leprechaun is totally not sexy. The best is the four leaf clover and that�s cute as best. The Leprechaun isn�t even SCARY! The leprechauns greaest achievement in life is to give away magically delcious cereal and pretend to be happy when not recognized as �of those Kebler Elf Guys�. In the end, I love St. Patricks Day. It lets me drink without getting into trouble. It lets me were green, a masculine yet gental color, and I get to see all the girls trying their hardest to look good in a sea of green. Hey, at least it�s not Thanksgiving. Unless Chicken Gizzards in summer Squash is a sexy food combo. | |||||||||||
