2004-09-16 - 11:33 a.m. Football and Dinner Today�s strange one hit Pop culture icon reference of the day is Duncan Sheik. His career isn�t �barley breathing;� it is flat out dead. And I maintain Terrace Trent Darby shit the bed. Warning: Football! Anyway, I totally lost 5 whole dollars on a football bet last week. See I though that the Ravens were going to be the Browns, not because the Browns suck, but because the Raven�s don�t. I like betting on football not because I love the game, but because I like to make a prediction that is right. That is to say, I love predicting the outcome of games before they happen because 1) It makes me look wicked smart 2) It impresses people 3) I win a fistful of dollars. My bud Kerbang is also betting on football, so I figure this may help him out�like he will read it. So would you like my picks for this week? (note 50% certainty is a push. 49% means I think more than half the time I am wrong. So its usually 50-100, unless I am taking an �out on the limb� pick) I got the Colts beating the Titans. The colts need a win more, and the Tennessee running back is hurt. But listen its in Tennessee, and this is a goddamn close game (Certainty 51%) Denver will beat Jacksonville. Growl. (Certainty 70%) I still like Houston over Detroit. I am sorry Joey Harrington, but you and your team just doesn�t look good. You squeaked by the bears. Now Houston lost to San Diego, but at least the Chargers have Tomlinson. (Certainty 85%) The Giants suck big time, Washington should have no problem beating them. (Certainty 80%) St. Louis vs Atlanta. Both teams kinda suck. Not big time, but kinda. I just don�t see the Hawks winning though. (Certainty 55%) Seattle vs Tampa Bay -- The seeeaahawks are a nice little team. But I think this is on the road, and as bad as Tampa looked last week, I don�t think the Seahawks are winning another on the Road. Bucs (certainty 25% [I think I am wrong]) Cleveland vs Dallas: I bet against you last week Cleveland. I won�t do it again. Jeff Garcia is like a gay Doug Flutie. Hehehe. Just kidding Jeff. TO sucks. (Certainty 60%) Oakland Buffalo: This is the old man match. Like on both sides of the ball its old men trying to show they aren�t so old. This is the game of the week in my eyes because maybe, just maybe, someone can hurt Jerry Rice. I have been waiting like 23 years for him to break his leg. (push 50/50) Baltimore vs Pittsburg: Break out the Bus. Jerome is going to try to rack over Ray Lewis. One of you is on the cover of games, the other one is halfway to the grave (Ravens 80%) Jets vs Diego: Jets by 68 points (Certainty 95%) Kansas City vs Carolina: Great matchup. Both teams need a win, and neither deserve a loss. Edge to KC for being at home (60%) Bengals vs Miami. The Bengals don�t like it hot hot hot. (Miami wins -- certainty 65%) Saints vs San Fran. Could I be more disgusted by you two teams. You make me puke on my chest while sleeping. Saints by a touchdown (certainty 80%) Green Bay vs Chicago. I mean Green bay couldn�t look better and Chicago lost to the Lions. (Easy GB win 95%) Patriots vs Arizona. We have had 3 extra prep days, Arizona is the worst team in the league, their running back is older than my dad, and their quarterback is younger than my son. Bill is going to kill. Pats win (100%) __________________ Now for all of you that suffered through the football talk, here is a picture of the leftovers of my dinner from last night. It was a terrible meal. Look at the size of that chicken. That was supposed to be a piece of chicken, when in fact it was about the size of Lincolns head. If I wanted Chicken nuggets I would have gone to Wendy�s. Christ McDonalds Chicken Selects are bigger! And look at �headphone chicken� could it look any less appetizing. It was a horrible meal. Horrible. At least the company was good, playful, and funny. Oh and cute. Did I mention cute? Menu description "Six Hearty Strips of choice chicken breast, hand-battered & fried." My Description "Three pieces of white meat made to look like tiny household objects, dropped is sizzling grease." | |||||||||||
