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WARNING: SPORTS ENTRY. 
Did that banner get you here? Let me know. This entry deals with the Season of Football. I like to make predictions every year, and so here we go. If you hate football, I understand if you have to go now, but at least YELL at me in the comments. If you don�t tell me, then how will I know you hated this.
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Lets get one thing straight, The New England Patriots are the champs until they are 1) defeated in the playoffs or 2) Don�t make the playoffs. Until then, they should never ever be an underdog, unless they are forced to play in some strange situation like in low gravity.
There are three ways you can have a good team and win at the game of football. They are as follows. A good coaching system -- If your coach is stupid, so is your team. Unlike baseball where the manager basically babysits the team, a football coach calls every play, scouts, develops, counters, and watches years of film on opposite teams. If your couch is the sorta guy who doubles down with a 5 and a 2 on the table, you are going to be 1-15. Your coach needs to be smart. He also needs to be crazy, and totally forget about personal hygiene. You want a fat coach. You want an unkempt coach that just slips into the film room to look at plays, not porn. You want his breath to attract cats, as his diet consists of a stange tuna/philly cheesesteake combo. It also helps if he likes strange headwear. In Summation: a reclusive, kinda fat, crazy/smart coach with a flair for women like clothing. 
A good defense Defense isn�t sexy. Defense is the Man of football. Offense is the Girl. Defense is needed to build the house. Put up the studs, lay the concrete, bleeds, takes off its shirt as it hauls the cord of wood on its back to put down the main beam to the house. A defense does the work. No one wants to watch it do the work. Home and Garden doesn�t show men putting up frames to houses. They show the decoration inside. A good offense The girl of football. Everyone wants to look at the girl. The bride is the center of attention, the female body is more pleasant to look at, and sex sells. The highlight reel is offense. The offense quarterback is the poster boy. No one likes an ugly fierce defense fat man on their magazine. A good offense is like a good interior designer. It has gotta keep things fresh, without taking chances. If a man was to design a house, everytime he would set it up the same and paint it in the same colors. Everytime you use a design scheme, its in the past. Its old news. You have to be creative, do something new� And that�s the pressure and sexiness of offense. What is going to happen next?!? Defense is going to hit you everytime you touch the ball. BANG. Nail in wood. A house goes up the same way everytime, but once the colors start going on, that�s what makes in unique. -And those are the three ways you can win at football- Now some teams have one. Some teams, like Arizona, have a good coach, but the players aren�t that great. Meanwhile a team like Baltimore has a good defense, but their offense just does the manpose and paints the house navy blue. Everyroom Navy Blue. Then teams like the Colts who have an attractive and sexy offense, but termites in the walls and they are missing nails so when you check out the foundation, it cracks. The Patriots have all three of those aspects, and that�s why they are the 3 Time Champs. Here are my Team by Team predictions, just so fans in the Midwest can see what I think about their team.
1.) New England Patriots
--Sep 8 Oakland 9:00pm (Win; but close)
--Sep 18 @Carolina 1:00pm (Loss, Carolina goes Crazy)
--Sep 25 @Pittsburgh 4:15pm (Win; Revenge Factor means nothing. 41-27 was a nice second loss for a 15-1 season.)
--Oct 2 San Diego 1:00pm (Win; San Diego? Get real)
--Oct 9 @Atlanta 1:00pm (Win BIG TIME �take the spread on this game)
--Oct 16 @Denver 4:15pm (Loss. Its really hard to win AT Denver)
--Oct 30 Buffalo 8:30pm (Win. Buffalo stinks)
--Nov 7 Indianapolis 9:00pm (Win. Colts are awful in Foxoboro.)
--Nov 13 @Miami 1:00pm (Win. Miami is just a bad team)
--Nov 20 New Orleans 1:00pm (Win, I love the Saints, but � Come on)
--Nov 27 @Kansas City 1:00pm (Loss. Arrow Head, Big Offense. I see a loss here)
--Dec 4 N.Y. Jets 4:15pm (Win J-E-T-S SUCK SUCK SUCK)
--Dec 11 @Buffalo 1:00pm (Win. I might go to this one)
--Dec 17 Tampa Bay 1:30pm (Win Tampa Bay? AT New England? 14 point spread)
--Dec 26 @N.Y. Jets 9:00pm (Win Merry Christmas Jets playoff chances)
--Jan 1 Miami 1:00pm (Win. Frozen Fish)
Record (13-3-0) 2.) Philadelphia Eagles -- Still the best team in a terrible division. They are in trouble if McNabb goes down, but even then I can�t see them losing to the out to the Redskins, Cowboys, or Giants.
3.) Baltimore Ravens -- A stud running back, A good defense, Ed Reed, and this shapes up to be one heck of a team if their quarterback screws his head on. I have a weakness for this team.
4.) Indianapolis Colts -- Peyton will win another Pro Bowl MVP before the end of the year.
5.) Carolina Panthers -- Why not? The NFC is terrible, and they will beat the Pats week 2. Everyone will be riding this bandwagon saying �They did it before and I think that they can do it again.� Tell that to the Tampa Bay Bucs.
6.) New York Jets -- The Jets are a good team. Sent Santana Moss on the Redskin rehab assignment�got back L Coles. They would win the almost any other division.
7.) New Orleans Saints -- Yeah you heard me. Stop laughing! This is a good team. They have a good offense, and their defense isn�t horrific. I am picking them to be better than Atlanta. The Duce is Loose!!!!
8.) Pittsburgh Steelers -- The Steelers are not that good. A decent defense, a good QB, and old man Running back. I don�t see them going better than 9-7 losing to a lot of bad teams, while beating good ones.
9.) San Diego Chargers -- I might make fun of them, but they are a pretty good team. I like their stuff.
10.) Atlanta Falcons -- I don�t believe in Atlanta this year, but they have got a good D. Vick makes me sick.
11.) Kansas City Chiefs -- Priest Holmes can win games single-handed. But that D is a screen door.
12.) Dallas Cowboys -- Cupcake schedule. Good Coach. I have to think that the Boys will be better.
13.) Jacksonville Jaguars -- The Big Cats have a lot of the right components, but a fan base is not one of them. If they win, no one will care.
14.) Arizona Cardinals -- This is probably my worst pick ever (don�t say it�s the Saints), but I think they are winning that west division.
15.) Seattle Seahawks -- But if they don�t look for Seattle to loose in the first round of the playoffs again.
16.) Houston Texans -- I have a weak spot for Texas football. It just seems so right!
17.) Minnesota Vikings � I hate this team. They have little offense, a bad system, terrible defense, and just cause they play in the Bears Division, somehow they win every week. I could see this team go 5-0 and then go 0-11.
18.) Denver Broncos -- They will have a breakout running back and then get blow away by the Colts in the playoffs. Don�t think for a second this is a good team.
19.) Buffalo Bills -- You don�t want to play the Bills, but lets be clear about one thing. J.P. Loseman is not Ben Rothesburger.
20.) St. Louis Rams � This coach calls three time out in the first five minutes. He�s like a fantasy coach. A Stever Spurrior wanna be. He doesn�t know how to win, and with huge contracts and older players, this teams not getting any better.
21.) Cleveland Browns � A good coaching system will make this team a spoiler this year. Hopefully they get better cause I would really like to see the Browns and Romeo succeed.
22.) Detroit Lions � They suck. But listen, the division they are in is going to give the NFC West a run for their money in losses. I can see the lions going to the postseason. However, I am waiting for Charles Rodgers to break his leg again.
23.) Tennessee Titans -- Eh? Why not?
24.) Washington Redskins -- Listen, the Red Skins are terrible. Portis is a flash in the pan, Santana Moss is a taller Deion Branch, and their defense still has bigger holes than Courtney Love.
25.) Green Bay Packers -- I could play in their secondary. Seriously. Ahman Green is good, and I love Brett Farve, but if this team is playoff bound, I post a picture of my roommates penis on the internet.
26.) Tampa Bay Bucs -- They won a superbowl, and then suddenly SUCKED. I mean honestly, I haven�t seen a team suck this consistently since the Saints. I love the Saints. Forgive me.
27.) Cincinnati Bengals � Did I ever tell you the story of when the black kids picked the short asian with the broken hand over me on the basketball court? The Bengals are the Asian kid with the broken hand.
28.) New York Giants -- Eli Manning? No Giants fans, you aren�t due for a disappointment. Everything�s gonna go real smooth.
29.) Oakland Raiders -- This team is too low. It really is, but I can�t stand Oakland. Randy Moss fits in there well, but I really don�t think they are going anywhere. Everyone is old, dead, or doesn�t like people. That�s not a good team.
30.) Chicago Bears -- They are in a terrible division. They will win a couple games, despite have no talent. This is how bad it is. Their quarterback was awful. Then he got injured and his back up had to come in. This is like the understudy to Jon Voight. How bad is THAT guy? 
31.) San Francisco 49ers -- Maybe they�ll beat the cardinals again. Last year they beat the Cardinals twice, and that�s it. Somehow, from that, the Cardinals became the better team.
32.) Miami Dolphins -- I had a roommate from Miami. He kept saying things like �just wait til you play the dolfinas! They are so good man.� They went 4-12 and did nothing this offseason but lose players. I am not saying that they are the worst team in football, I am just hoping they are.
To my real life friends. I started the Fantasy Football League. I made your team, its on autodraft. Get in touch with me for your password.
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