2003-07-08 - 3:39 p.m.

In the Navy

I have seen a lot of naked men in my day. I am still young, but I am going to go out there and put it all on the line, and bet that I have seen more naked men than you.

*Gasp*

You may wonder?

---Is he gay? (probably not)

---Is he lying? (I wish)

---Is he kidding? (usually but not this time)

---Why is he writing this? (I don�t know)

---Whats the square root of 98? (I like this one cause its easy to remember see: 9.8989894949366116553416118210694679)

The reason for seeing this stems from the Village People. Yes everyone�s favorite Indian, Cop, Construction worker, Cowboy, sailor, and Gay Biker are the reason I see nude men.

Before I get into that; I just want to state, I am sure that there is probably one gay guy reading this think of the sexual experience that he had in a room full of one hundred other men in a sort of orgy we all can�t really dream up. You, Mr. Orgy man, have me beat. You know who you are.

Baring that guy; From High school on, I was subjected to the male body day in and day out, because I was a swimmer.

Now maybe other were swimmers as well, and if you are then you come close, but I didn�t swim in my High School. And even though we had nearly 30 men changing daily into grape hugging speedos, rotating year to year as Seniors left and freshman entered, this still isn�t why I know that I have seen more male nudity than you.

And I am talking live nudity. I�m not talking this online crap.

I am talking men. I am talking about where I swam.

I swam at the Y.M.C.A. And so it has come full circle.

The village people knew what they were talking about. For some reason, everyone is naked. And everyone is comfortable with it, except maybe me. I still work out there now. This is because I am pretty sure I pay less for my gym membership than you too.

The �Why� (Y.M.C.A.) offers a setting of true male workout environment. No AC, No nautilus machine, no fancy nothing. Just some giant fans, lots of free weights, and real men working out. Hell. Vikram saw the pipe action there. Some of the lifting tools are made from water pipes. Its nuts.

I like that aspect of it. The men in there aren�t greased up body builders either. They are real men, who can bench their I.Q. No huge muscles heads curling 100lbs weights in the corner.

However, they are also nude men. My lord they are nude. Just yesterday when I walked in, two nude men were air drying watching the TV in the lounge area in the club house.

Three other men were showering nude. And like I said. These are average men who just apparently enjoy the lack of clothing.

That�s five nude men yesterday!!! How many of you saw five nude men yesterday!!!

I have actually started growing used to it. It scared me yesterday. I was like, Gump� you have never been bothered by nudity, but you are growing numb to it. What does this mean?

Are you liking the idea of nude men, or are you just indifferent?

I worried a little, wondering if I was I was someone who will become a nude enthusiast, going to nudity ranches, or maybe even male strip shows!!

I left the locker room and went out into the main area. That where I saw this girl. Maybe she wasn�t the most attractive girl in the world, maybe she was a little sweaty, maybe she just farted, but something in me snapped and I realized that I was going to be fine.

I stroked my crotch and thanked it for doing the thinking when my brain could not.

~Gump

I didn�t really stroke my crotch.

My favorite gym story is a quickie and its not mine. Its Sam�s. See he was in the locker room, and the way their gym was set up there were top and bottom lockers.

One day Sam was in the bottom locker and he had a combination lock. While he was down there an old man came over and was naked.

He had the locker above Sam�s.

Instead of being naked and waiting, the old man went in for the kill.

So Sam and Old Man nudity had a Face to Crotch off. Sam was face to face with a 60 year old penis.

He kept fumbling his combination due to pure uncomfort and distraction, and neither budged due to a sort of pride and embarrassment. In the end, they both went their separate ways.

The moral of the story; Kids: Don�t take the crotch level locker, Old Men: keep the towel on.