2004-02-12 - 4:02 p.m. The Top Ten Reasons Why it�s Good to Not Have a Valentine The Top Ten Reasons Why it�s Good to Not Have a Valentine (Tomorrow will be the reasons too have one) I just looked these over. It�s all a joke. I don�t know the single from the dating, so don�t be offended, most of them are taking shots at the single. The next one will take shots at the couples. And if you are offended, tear me a new one, and I will suck up to you forever. 10) If you were looking for a reason to kill yourself, this hallmark induced gag-fest is a perfect fit. So break out the sleeping pills, cause no one�s coming knocking on your door on the 14th. 9) Farting: Let it rip. It�s not getting any worse. 8) Gentleman, though the dates may be scarce, the hookers are on Red Alert. Isn�t it about time you tried one? And Ladyz, I have five words for you �Every dog wants Peanut Butter.� 7) You can see a lot of great movies like �50 First Dates, DareDevil, and Pay it Forward� on Valentine�s Day weekend. Movies that remind you that your life isn�t that bad. 6) Forget the flowers; screw the cards; fuck the gift, but get the chocolates. And a chocolate chip muffin which is really just like big fluffy cookie. 5) You can finally keep that new years resolution and make it too the gym, because all the people that HAVE been going there will be out on dates. (this one is actually not true, most meat heads and under eaters are actually the loneliest) [this one was so mean I had to put a disclaimer] 4) Think! Single bars will actually have single people in them. Even the sleaziest married guy can�t miss valentines� day!! 3) Britney Spears, J-Lo, and Nicole Kidman don�t have dates either! 2) What the fuck good are relationships anyway? You don�t fight with someone where you want to eat! You want steak. MOOOO!!! Steak!! You would much rather go out to the clubs; get hit on; treated like gold by drolls of men; pick whoever you want (the hottest); take them wherever; then kick them out and not have to deal with the emotional attachment that comes with a draggy dreadful relationship that will just end in heart break. It�s an evil holiday anyway! If Satan and Hallmark invented Valentine�s day, then it�s clear that�s why God invented masturbation. 1) Even the Care Bears think Valentine�s Day sucks a monkey�s ram-rod. (And not that Care Bear Cousin� Monkeys Ram Rod; cause that might be fun.) [if I were a care bear] Was the care bear stare a form of ejacu1ation? Just wondering? My point is no care bare�s care for the V-day anyway. yes it�s a bad point this is why I put the picture duh | |||||||||||
