2003-07-16 - 1:03 p.m. Beware the Bowl First and foremost I would like to thank Amber for making the button you can now find at the bottom of the page. This is a wicked cool button that she completely designed. She mine as well posted it on my site since it took me three times to get it right. Grab the code, and then put on your website. I am sure you will have far less trouble. Thanks Amber I feel bad about not saying it sooner, but I appreciate the help you have given me in this and in other operations. I didn�t thank her because I ran off to go see LXG with Vikram. It was so silly. It was just a silly film. I really enjoyed laughing at it. Capt. Nemo was Indian and had a crew of Indians and Vikram and I found it very amusing how disposable they were. Sam and I saw stargate at this local dive of a theater when it was first out (with Kurt Russel and Luke Perry) and it was the most over the top ridiculous piece of cinema we had seen. Yep. I loved watching that. We laugh so hard I spilled my popcorn. People yelled at us. Beware the scorpion Bowl. We have a website up now for an idea that I have had for awhile regarding drinking. Anyway, I wanted to warn all humans about the dangers of the Hong Kong, �Home of the Scorpion Bowl� Its this bar in Fanuieal Hall in Boston which is a dive. It makes its name by giving out mind numbing rum bowls of liquor and feeding the masses with sketchy meat on a stick. Its small, dark, and awesome. I love it. However, beware. 1) Do not think that you can drive home after going to the Hong and Kong. You will be hammered. If you are the DD, forget it. You will get drunk off the fumes 2) Do not think you will have money for parking afterwards. That place, though cheap, manages to take just enough money so that you and all your friends are a dollar shy of the exit parking fee. You will have to beg like a crack-baby for a dollar. Leave the parking money in the car. 3) You will see at least one bachelorette party. This is like the second most likely spot, Jake Ivories being the first. Note: Bachelorette parties are not fun to others. The girls are in prime time �circle the wagons form.� Girls have enough respect for the Bride to not hook up with sketchy guy in tight black shirt sipping the Amstel light or whatever clever name you girls will give him. Bachelor parties are the opposite. They want loving for every member of the group. Groom included. This is fun for people around the bar. This is because guys are dumb. 4) Beware the Shot lady. She has shots. You are drinking scorpion bowls, not shots. If you drink shots, you will be using the scorpion bowl for a puke bucket. Shot lady is evil. She also, will not cut you off. Something which may or may not be a problem. 5) You must be ready to grow antennas out of your head.
6) Don�t eat the meat. I know you will, but you shouldn�t. I always do. I usually regret it. Even worse is the Sausage guy outside. He is guaranteed to take your parking money in exchange for a sausage sandwich, or something that you can eat and not remember. 7) For the guys. Honk and Kong is small. They save space on the bathroom. There is one thing that is certain. Someone will be puking in the only stall. That leaves two urinals. They are spaced 4 inches apart from one another, so you best be really drunk before breaking the seal. Why? 4 inches apart!!! You and the other drunk stack WILL be touching while holding yourself peeing. I bet the well endowed are so close they could touch penis heads. Ewwwww! 8) Going to the Hong and Kong kill brain cells. This is just a general warning. Usually it doesn�t hurt, only makes you do silly things like count up from one, instead of down from ten. 9) HANG ON TO YOUR BOWL!!!! The waitress will come around and try to rustle the bowl out of you steely clammy hands (at least mine as I kick and scream on the floor �There must be more dripplets of rum in here�). When she takes it, it hard to get it back. And you will want it back. BAD. You don�t go here to drink anything BUT the bowls, so once you have them, hang onto them. You�ll thank me. 10) Finally, drinking here will make you look like Satan. I want you to note how the men in this picture look like Satan. In fact, look at me and compare me to the image I have of Satan in a bowl. Scary Huh? Yes, as you can see, the men get scary, and the womenfolk look scared. (the real scary thing is this is only at like half-drunk. The end of this night I turn red and walk around with a pitchfork.  Have fun people. Link me if you love me!!! | |||||||||||
