2006-01-06 - 3:30 p.m.

NFL Wild Card Weekend 2006

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Playoff Preview.

There are a few things you need to know about Me and the Playoffs in Football.

1) I am a Pats fan and they haven�t lost a post season game since 1999.

2) I have this betting game. People at work spend 20 bucks and get a team in the playoffs randomly. If your team does well, you make money. If the team does poorly you don�t make anything. For the past three years I have always gotten not only a losing team, but the team that gets BLOWN OUT. So three years, this is my fourth year, and its official, I�m calling it the Gump Curse. I will reveal the team later.

3) I hate the Colts. They are the only team I hate in the playoffs because of a respect/rivalry. I also hate the Buccs and Redskins, but that�s on principle and ugly uniforms. I also have still not forgiven the Buccs for that Oakland/Tampa superbowl which made the Giants/Ravens game look good.

4) My favorite weekend in football is wildcard weekend!

5) There is no better playoff scenario in sports than Major League Football.

I�ll take these in reverse order and then give you my playoff predictions.

5)NFL playoffs are 1 game playoffs which makes it that much more exciting. Sure series are fun, but in football every game is a game seven. It also means that there can be more upsets which means that even the most confident fan has to be on his or her toes.

4) Wildcard weekend is the weekend when Frisky teams play good teams with bad luck. Frisky teams are fun to watch because they can do anything. They can throw 5 touchdowns or 5 picks. You get Buffalo Tennessee games where a lateral wins it and single-handedly ruins Rob Johnson�s life. And then good teams with bad lucks are like the dogs in the corner that are all matted down and snarling. Don�t get near them. These are the teams that literally kill players with big hits in the playoffs. You get games like Raven�s Titans where the ravens pee on the field and then Eddie George gets murdered by Ray Lewis. And that�s just pregame.

3) I hate teams that just suck to watch. This years �holy suck to watch� watch list is �Bucs, Redskins, and Denver� I hate hate hate hate hate them. They all suck. (though they aren�t awful).

2) My pick is the Bengal�s. Its my first home team. Too bad they aren�t favored to win.

1) Will this be the year? Will the pats go down? Onto the picks.

Gump�s dream playoff scenario 1 ---

Pats beat Jags, Pats go to Denver (steelers win), Pats go to Indy, Pats Win Superbowl.

Gump�s dream playoff scenario 2 ---

Pat�s beat jags. Lose to Denver. Colts beat Denver, go to Superbowl. Play the Giants and lose. Thus ruining Peyton Manning�s shot and Making Eli Manning Peyton�s new Brady. I just love the idea of seeing Peyton Manning suffer. He�s got Dan Marino disease. Unless you are a fan of the Colts, you just don�t like watching him win.

Okay --- so the picks.

Why the Pats won�t win == We are banged up against the REAL MOST disrespected team in football. The Jags are 12-4 and are one tough cookie. They have tall receivers, a tough scrambling QB, and a very good running back. The Pats won the "team you don't want to play award" which is the football kiss of death. Its usually a team that isn't good, because if they were good you wouldn't have to say that. The past teams with that are: Ravens, Titans, Seahawks, and Rams. The Pats might be missing a linebacker, a running back, and like a whole offensive line. Plus when was the last time a 10-6 team was favored over a 12-4 team by 8 points? Plus the last team the Pats lost to? The 99� Jags.

Why the Jags won�t win == QB controversy. That didn�t help. Also they�ve not played a winning team since August it seems. They also struggled to beat bad teams. Also the Pats have never lost in the playoffs and have always found a way to beat teams against the odds.

Ultimate Reasons why I picked the Pats == Until I see the Pats lose in the playoffs, how can I believe its going to happen? They have a better plan. They always have a better plan, and they have a QB that has been here 3 out of the last 4 years? We are used to and built for a 19 game season. We are also playing a warm weather team at night in the freezing cold death camp known as Foxoboro. The Jags are new to this. I just don�t see that being an advantage.

Pats over Jags

Why the Buccs won�t win == Chris Simms is going to shit the bed. Cadillac barely made it through the regular season. Cold weather. Road team. Goodnight Buccs.

Why the Redskins won�t win == Portis sucks, Their QB sucks, they give up on games, they get smoked.

Ultimate Reasons why I picked the Skins == The skins have a good defense and home field advantage. The Buccs have nothing and are gonna get their asses kicked. Sadly I feel these are the two worst teams in the playoffs. I will watch, but then I might pluck out my eyelashes.

Redskins over Buccs

Why the Giants won�t win == Eli Manning isn�t ready for the post season yet. He�s been taking big baby steps in football and is going to be really good (good news) but the playoffs are a different animal and he�s not ready just yet. Plus the Panthers are going to be all over Shockey and Tiki, which means the game lies on the shoulders of a scared young Manning.

Why the Panthers won�t win == Foster isn�t good. He has been tagging in and out with Stephen Davis, but isn�t a good running back except against the Falcons. So that means Jake will have to throw it all day to Steve Smith, and I think the Giants can handle that.

Ultimate Reasons why I picked the Panthers: == I just think that Eli isn�t ready, and the Panthers are too good a road team. Now the Giants ARE a good home team, (so if they do win savor it because its an L for next weeks road game)but at the same time I think the Panthers can get themselves up to win this one. Plus I think if Manning makes a mistake the crowd has a 33% chance of turning on him. Look for this game to win �sloppiest game of the year� award since I think its gonna be played in Giants stadium in sleet.

Panthers over Giants

Why the Steelers won�t win == Two words: Bill Cowher. The man who will literally spit ice on Sunday usually saves his collapse for the home crowd (because who doesn�t love the home crowd hanging themselves with their terrible towels). The team is STILL riding the bus. Jerome Bettis who is almost older than his number isn�t carrying this team to glory. In the end, the steelers will win if they control the clock by running, but if the Bengals get the lead, its not going to be pretty in the steel city.

Why the Bengals won�t win == They have this happy to be their attitude. I mean, I�ve never seen a home team look so happy with just making the playoffs. I know you�ve sucked, but YOU ARE THE HOME TEAM!!!!! YOU ARE THE THIRD SEED IN THE AFC! They are like the black girl on the bachelor that knows she�s going home, she just doesn�t know when. The Bengals have a MUCH better offense and a rested team that beat the Steelers on the road. And yet they are the underdogs and are practically putting money down on them being one and done.

Ultimate Reasons why I picked the Steelers == Because I have them in the pool. If I didn�t have them, I think that the Bengals would win this game. They are better coached, more talented, have home field, and own the Steelers in the turnover department. But I have them. So they are losing 44-1.

Stupid Bengals.

Steelers over Bengals

GOOOOOO STUPID BENGALS!

before - After

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