2003-08-09 - 12:15 p.m. Love 4 And that�s the Ballgame I didn�t see it coming. He caught me off guard. �I am going to purpose to you on the jumbotron Sara!,� Really Todd; isn�t that just every girl�s dream. What a goof. �Shut up you dork,� I replied as he giggled and got up to leave our seats to head to the concessions stands. Todd and I had decided to not work over the summer because we had just gradated college and wanted to have some fun before the real world finally began. You know like one last time to see the world and truly experience life without the restrictions of a schedule or a family. That and we couldn�t find jobs. What do you want out of two friends who cruised through a sociology and women studies degree at the local state university? At least our parents have financed our dream of a life education through spending time in the world. Right now we are getting drunk at the ball game. Todd comes back with a single hot dog and a single beer. �Thanks for the beer ,� as he was distracted I took a big bite of the hot dog as he was sitting down. I think I got ketchup on my face. �Nice one there slugger,� Todd said, �Looks like we gonna have to get that guy up here to lick that off your face,� as Todd pointed down the a overly large man who decided that shirts were suggestions when it came to sporting events. �Gross.� As we sat down I try to take his beer but he just slapped my hand away giving me a quick, �Not gonna happen� The home team was really putting up agem. It was 7-2 by the fourth inning. At least I got to see that new center fielder. He�s really cute. Why does Todd have a pretzel? Why is he tearing it up? He�s up to something. �Sir, I understand that you have something you would like to ask the organization,� a man dressed as an usher asked Todd. My heart dropped. �Oh yeah man, I was hoping that you could do me a favor. I wanted surprise my girl here and purpose to her on the jumbo screen up there.� �Is that so,� the usually savvy usher eyed Todd up and down and then peeked at me shaking me head from side to side, �Well sir, do you have a ring, or are you going to use the pretzel?� �Ummm�.well.� Todd wasn�t a quick thinker. �Yes, and was the big surprise suppose to be announced in front of your girl? Or did we just think this up five minutes ago and think we could bamboozle a legitimate professional entertainment organization focused of the fan experience. We weren�t born yesterday sir, and next time you have an idea like this how about you run it by your girl here first. She seems to have it together. Thank you very much and enjoy the rest of the game.� �Dude, where the love?� Todd was an idiot sometimes, but fun to hang around. �Not you shining moment there kiddo.� �He didn�t have to cut me down like that. Want a pretzel?� he asked handing a rolled up mangled pretzel in my general direction. �Nope,� as I took the beer out his cup holder while he was too involved trying to peddle the pretzel of the most willing victim. Two weeks later Todd and I were at his house when he asked me if I remember that day in the ballpark. I told him I did. He said he wanted to do it to see the look on our families face if they saw on the broadcast that we were getting married. �You are a fool.� We lived next door from each other for a long portion of our life. He�s always been a goof ball and I hung out with him mostly from a combination of pity, and the fact he can make me laugh. He was a fool, but I think that why I liked him. �I think we should do it again? But better planned.� �What the hell are you talking about?� �I am talking about going to the park and pretending to get married. It would be really hysterical.� �Oh my god. That guy already told you off, have you not learned you lesson?� �No dipshit. I am talking about going to other parks all over and doing this. Like a road gag. We got shit to do, and the markets not getting better anytime soon.� �Todd, you are talking crazy. That�s the dumbest idea I have heard.� �No way. Listen, people do stuff like this all the time. Like the bring signs to concerts that say �I�ll have babies with you� and then sometimes people steak at games, and then sometimes they try to get noticed. I think this is a frontier of getting noticed that no one has forged.� �You are just trying to not be a loser. There is a big difference between signs and lying to the crowd about wedding vows. But I am listening.� �Yeah. Sara, we will just make up funny stories about how we met and then be all honest and everything, or pretend to be honest and in fact lie. Lie honestly� and then they will interview us and put us up on the big screen.� �Listen. If you really want to do this, we gotta get it all in line, the story the ring, everything. We practice and that�s that. Make sure you call ahead too. I can�t believe I just said all that.� �You dig it� �Shut up. We will try it once.� �You dig my idea and you love it.� And I did love it. We drove down to Pac Belle park. The whole place bought it. We even got on TV. The story was pretty funny. We had met at a monster truck ralley and he was a fan of gravedigger and I liked bonecrusher. We fought about it so much that we hung out afterward to fight more. Then it was love ever since. The woman next to me �awwwwwed.� Sucker. Then we went up to Seattle. He told a story about how I helped him lose a lot of weight. He was really obese and he kept going running everyday to the point where was really taking the inches off. The guy interviewing us had this look like we could be the next Jarod, until on live air he told everyone why. �You see. She was jogger, and I would see he run by my house everyday. She was so pretty. So I started stalking her. You know how hard it is for a fat guy to stalk a jogger.� I think they cut to commercial. The stories went on. Met at a Halloween party. I went as a slinky. He fell in love with me as I was coming down the stairs. Met a funeral. My dead husband was killed when he accidentally left a clamp on his aorta. It was a divine mistake. The suit is still pending. �I always wanted to marry a doctor!� Met a Strip Club I worked at. He was a transvestite who was trying to fit in with the ladies, and I liked his stuff when he gave me my first lap dance. I gave him his stage name; �Susie Surprise.� Ah amor. This went one for nearly three weeks. Then we ran out of ballparks to visit. I was so sad because our roadtrip had to end. It was the best time of my life. I got such a thrill out of shocking the entire stadium. I loved every minute of it. I was think we could do football next. But it all ended. Todd, one night, after our last ballpark took me outside by the car. He got down on one knee. �Sara. This has been so great, and I really have had a crush on you forever. You have meant so much to me and I never want to be apart from you. I figured that I would try and make this moment special. I wanted it to do it at the ballpark, but away from the people. Just you and me. Will you marry me.� Being that this was about the 20th time he had purposed to me in the past month, I didn�t take him seriously. Such a good. �Get up you geek. That was the worst one yet.� �That�s cause I am serious. I love you.� I pulled him up and looked him in the eye. He was being sincere. �Todd, honey. I like this. I love what we are doing. Not you. Please don�t get them confused. I love our humor. I love our friendship. I don�t love you�not in that way.� He was crushed. I felt so bad, but he needed the truth. �Todd, I just don�t feel the same way. Now lets go home. There are more places we can try this game before we settle down.� I got in the car. He slinked to the other side, and sighed. I think I defeated his spirit. But he got in the car and we drove home. | |||||||||||
