2003-12-29 - 4:34 p.m. God 3 Faith I never have really known what to believe. But I never had any reason to doubt what was taught to me. My parents raised me so well that I never really had a reason to question what they told me. How quickly the seems unravel! The simple question of �did my parents actually raise me well?� pops in my head. The leads to the question of �what does is mean to raise someone well?� How can you discover whether you were raised better than someone else? Is it the end result, or is it happenstance, that even the most diligent parents smallest mistakes can unmake the fabric of the child�s moral upbringing. Then sometimes the sweetest more untainted people can come from a house of calamity and violence. I met one of these Roses. She was two years younger than me and was raised in a way that I consider to be �well. She was a person who I respect for both the relativist view of the world as well as her ability to have faith. She can still believe. That�s harder than it sounds. Once we are shown that the truth is not as we once accepted it, we grow jaded, and less trusting. We slowly develop this voice of questioning. Questioning the world around us. If you have a friend that has lied to you, the next thing that they say to you is not accepted. It�s questioned because the trust is gone. Is faith the ignoring of that voice? Hello Ellen. How are you? Good Gump. I am doing good. We talking online. As is often the format for people our age we can get into a deep discussion rather quickly. I try to avoid it, but talking online is usually either a surface conversation or really deep. I guess we feel like we don�t have time for that middle ranged small talk that I am so in love with. Example: Ellen, I was totally talking with my little cousin and she said that the color that she thinks of God with is red, for the BLOOD of Jesus. I was scared Thats wacky. What color do you think of. Maybe it�s me but I thought that was weird I associated white with God. White is the color of purity. God is pure and vibrant. Red stands for the blood that He shed on the hill for our sins. Blue is the color I envision for the Heavens - starry lights and deep blue, warm skies. I associated yellow with the radiance of the Lord. His everlasting low. Ahhh�so I guess that I am weird then. This red keeps coming up! I don�t think you are weird. Maybe you just don�t think about it as much as we do? Little did she know that it was pretty much all I thought about for the past week. I didn�t feel like leaving my heart out there bleeding on the table, so I wasn�t about to mope with her. Still, maybe she had the answers to the questions that I had. Why do you think there are so many different religions? People aren�t content. It started with Martin Luther who broke away from the Roman Catholic Church. He wasn�t content with, basically, how they were running things. He formed the protestant religion, and from there on it�s more history. It starts off with someone who disagrees. They break apart and form their own ideas. The problem is, people get so wrapped up in what religion they are; they pay little heed to what really is important - accepting Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal savior and learning from Him through the Bible. There are so many religions and cults now, though. Everyone wants to be a leader and shine for their 15 minutes of fame, saying: as if he can do it, so can Its people need to study more and talk less. I couldn�t debate the fact that man has had his paws in religion from the start, but to me it seems strange that the church would talk so much about free will, and then believe the bible was literal. How could bible be completely true if there are different versions? How could we really have free will AND have a divine bible? Why does Religion always focus on the idea God gave us free will? Do we really have free will if God has unlimited power? I questioned free will a lot when I was younger. I do believe God has given us free will, but I don�t question it anymore. I�ve accepted it, and just honestly try to do what I believe is right. You can�t say, ah well; God gave me free will so I can do what I want. I�ve been a good person, and done the right things. If Jesus is in your heart, I trust He will show you the way. I understand what she was trying to say. I understand that she gets �the point� of the teachings of the church, and doesn�t let her life become consumed with religion. But she takes these ideas on faith. Her heart wells with belief and faith, and I suddenly find myself jealous. How can her heart have such a capacity. Where can so much faith come from, and did I have it at one time. It seems so far away now� Do you pray? A simple question but important to me to understand. Yes, I pray. I believe that God hears all prayers, and He does answer them. It takes time. If you pass on to Heaven, and still have a question to why God hadn�t granted your prayer request; there you�ll be able to ask Him. I make my prayers happen. The Lord guides me to them. I look at where I am now, and think back to the prayers I made when I was a little girl. I can�t remember them all, but I know that God has guided me here and I�m happy. You can�t just sit and wait for your prayers to be answered. You have to get up and work for them. God will be there right beside you lending his helping hand. I find it amazing how much you put faith in God. Do you really trust god? I do trust God. Now, don�t get me wrong; I still have doubts here and there. I think doubts are only human. I trust that God exists; I just don�t trust myself at times. My belief is that God will guide me. I ask Him for His guidance, and I trust that He will lead me in the right direction. That all goes back to me knowing and feeling what the right things are for me to do, though. God has a hand in it all. It�s my choice to be His follower. Well, I am human then cause I am having my doubts. It�s so frustrating. Why do some people trust God more than others? We aren�t perfect. In fact, I think we�re all scared. Trust is gained through time. A lot of people don�t spend the time trying to learn about Jesus. They see negativity more than beauty, and it�s completely understandable. I don�t think people grasp the concept that life isn�t all peaches and cream. They might say they do, but if that was so then why are they all so mad? Take the time and patience to learn. Through learning comes trust. That�s funny though. It�s funny because I think that trust is lost over time. Maybe there is there a single event (miracle or the like) that caused you to believe in God? Not that I know of. I think I still have a lot of trouble with miracles. Sometimes I say that and occasion was a miracle but in the back of my mind I�m thinking that well, that�s just how it was supposed to go. I do believe in miracles, though. It might sound odd, but, I guess it�s easier to feel than to put into words. That�s funny again Ellen, because I can�t seem to find my feelings through my words. I just keep talking wondering if anyone will ever be able to understand what I am saying. And if they understand it, will they know what I am feeling? I am sorry. Have I made you uncomfortable? Now that I've been answering a few of these questions, I'm starting to question myself. I've getting confused and I'm starting to not understand a lot of things that, I guess, I just kind of accepted. I have this terrible aching about... why God made us. Was it just like a game from the start and things went terribly wrong? Woah. I guess that's why there are scientists. They want to figure out how the Earth got here in the first place - how we just appeared. I don't think I have a reason why I believe that God started it all... I think I've just accepted that that was the way it began. I don�t know why God Exists�He just does. I log off due to some AOL conspiracy to make people upgrade and get more pop up ads in their face. I feel a bit sad. I wished I could go back to believing as easily as she did. I wish I had more faith. The type of faith I had when George Michael bumped his boots on a jukebox, and I thought: �There�s a man�s man.� | |||||||||||
