2004-08-10 - 11:54 a.m. Gay Crush Week: Uncle Pumpkin My non Sexual gay crush of the Day is: Uncle Pumpkin! With his caramel shirt, dashing good looks, and movie star physique, this is the kinda friend that reminds you going to gym may actually work. A kid who grew up on the mean streets of my town, on the other side of the tracks, has taken on such fierce opponents like Matt Caucks, Dave Katmon, and the lies of Kris Buch-shea, he conquered it all to become a superhero. I mean what's not to love about that? He fought villains and common crooks, until one day he came upon a rose petal. It was so beautiful he cried, but his tear washed away the red in the pedal. He picked it up and realized it wasn�t a rose at all, but a caramelized onion that some homeless guy didn�t want to eat, and it was only red because of his blood from getting shot by protecting the innocent. So he said �fuck the innocent� and turned to a life of crime the involved mostly slight embezzlements, blackmails, and mostly mail order brides where he would re-sell them to big record lables as pop stars. It�s quite a racket. Anyway, because I always talk about how he�s good looking, I figure he outta make the GCW. So here�s looking at you � (coin flip) (punch) | |||||||||||
