2003-07-09 - 10:06 p.m. Clone 3 Dear Clone, This will be my final letter to you. Though we are genetically the same, by this point in our lives we have become different people. You still have quite a road ahead of you and I suppose my words, more than ever will make sense. However, I doubt that now they will do any good in shaping you life. I love the smell of fresh cut grass in November. You probably don�t. I love it because I played soccer and this smell means something to me. To you it probably means nothing. I hate smell of Chlorine coming off my body in the shower. I hope you do too, because that means you swam, and that you were good. I think that I will miss the smell in a few years. Maybe you already do? I wonder if you have a better grasp of language than I do? I wonder if you will write a letter to your clone, and post it somewhere. I wonder if you will have a diary. Do you? I am listening to Pearl Jam because I grew up on it. Others may find it crappy, or sadistic, or hurtful, or beautiful, but to me it magic. It music that reminds me of a different time. I feel sorry for the children of the eighties. Total Eclipse of the heart has a lot less meaning that Jeremey. Maybe not, but I just would rather my generation defined by �Black� than Uptown Girl. Regardless I like that silly pop music sometimes. Its gotta be good though. Brittany Spears sang a song called �Lucky.� I think it was the worst song she never wrote. I love the Red Sox. This is because I grew up in Boston. I will only hate you if you grew up in New York and like the Yankees. They are evil. Like the Mets. You are ready for college now. I hope you got into the one you wanted, though probably not. I think both you and I set high standards. Don�t worry if its not your first choice. If you make friends and savor the time there, you couldn�t imagine yourself anywhere else. This is one of those things that hopefully won�t make a difference in your life. Don�t continue to date someone from High School. It may seem like a good idea, but you need to grow. If you are in love; take a break. If you still are the same people in a year; then date again. Or don�t listen to me. I just think high school relationships are not developed enough, and twins should spend at least one year apart. Maybe this is because I was an old child and valued independence. Are you attracted to Irish Girls? Plain looking brown/red haired Irish girls? I have always wondered if that was genetic. I suppose though, that it doesn�t matter in the end, since its foolish to ask a question that will be eighteen years old when you have a chance to answer it. Do you think like that, or is it what I have read. Are you emotional? Are you safe? This is turing into something else. This is turning into me wondering what my life could have been, what my life wasn�t. This is turning in to a regret letter. Because I was afraid. Because I am weak. Because I am not emotional. Because I am not Honest. Because, for some reason, I think that I love you. I think that you are the closest thing that I will ever know as a brother, and yet we have never even met. I started these letters trying to impress on you the choices that I have made in my life, and where I thought that I have made right and wrong decisions. But you are going to college, and have made your own right and wrong choices. You have made your own life. A life I will never know. I want to tell you about love. I want to tell you about death. I want to tell you about my dreams. But you have your own. I guess now its back to Girls, God, and Graduation. You have probably noticed that females like you. They are drawn to you for some reason. You aren�t unattractive, which is a gift. Never criticize someone else�s looks, just their personality. An ugly personality is something people can and should control. Looks aren�t You probably said in your head �are not.� Are you smarter than me? Are you more talented? Graduation is special from college. Pick you major carefully, but don�t be afraid to change. Don�t just do what you love. Doing what you love could cost you future decisions. Pick something you like doing, but can also make a living from. You will like your job, but if you make a good living, your family will also reap the rewards. Don�t be so selfish and become a writer or a female studies major because its easy. But I don�t need to tell you that. You probably knew that before I did. As for God. Think about that. You are old enough to realize that you don�t need God to be in your life to exist. You don�t need God�s rules to act morally. You don�t need to follow an ancient law so that you can get into heaven. Ask yourself then, why you need God? I am sure you can figure it out. Because you are so smart, good looking, and have your whole freaking life ahead you; you soulless creation. Envy is setting in. I am in my forties as you are reading this. You are 18. You are probably more talented that I am. Avoid jealous. It�s the most vicious vice. And it�s the only one I can�t figure out how to shake. It mostly appears to me in a self-loathing. However, I get to leave you with that. The image of a bitter man full of regret. I hate that I feel like this. Maybe this is why fathers and sons don�t get along. I bet you hate me back. I love you. | |||||||||||
