2003-09-11 - 1:30 p.m. Book Survey I stole this list from Emiline220. I did one for music; I figure that I should do an entry related to books, but different. This is different. 100 very popular books that most people have heard of or read. High School mostly. I will go down the list and make a quick comment on each one. They may be funny, they may be sad. I don�t know yet, cause I haven�t done it. Silly. --Warning, upon completing this survey I must warn you...may god have mercy upon the soul of the poor person who reads this. 1. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell I have never read the book, or seen the movie. I am from the North, and frankly I don�t give a damn. *2. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee I read this one. It was when I was younger, perhaps Freshman year. I remember liking it a lot and wondering what was up with Boo Radley. I remember thinking that he was a very strange character. I don�t remember the story too much now, but I also liked the movie. 3. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon I haven�t read it, but remember hearing Outlander is a time travel romance. I like time travel. I can take romance. Maybe I will pick it up. 4. Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley I believe I started reading it when I was younger and read more, because it was about King Arthur, but I don�t think I read much of it, or even finished it. Wait�that was the dumbest this I have said in a while. *5. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving This is a fantastic book. I really loved it. It was given to my by my first girlfriend and she inscribed something in it that I thought was very sweet. She gave it to me for my 17th birthday after I had dumped her. The book itself is a really incredible tale. The movie, Simon Birch, make me want to puke. However, this book ties to a lot of real life things for me, and it still makes me sad to think about the outside circumstances. 6. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien Shut up. I read them three times. All at different stages of my life. 7. I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb It�s on Oprah�s must read/reader�s club list, so I boycotted it. Plus I am illertardit. 8. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver I haven�t read it or seen it. I haven�t even heard of it. 9. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden It�s a World War 2 Japanese imprisonment story I believe. I try to avoid those. Who needs knowledge when we have the internet. 10. The Stand by Stephen King Who didn�t read this. I read it too young though and can�t remember shit about it. I think there was a big fight in Las Vegas? Tyson vs the Titans perhaps? 11. The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel Clan of the Cave Borings. My mom had it and liked it so I picked it up once. Trust me, I spent my time on better things. Like trying to blow away the dog on duck hunt. Damn Dog. 12. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith Might mention the Yankees in a positive manner. Thanks but no thanks. 13. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte I read it, read the cliff notes, AND saw the movie. This fucking book sucked. I stand by that. It was one of the suckiest books ever. Suck it Bronte and your piss poor boring ass book. 14. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott I liked dating little women, not reading about it. I don�t think I was ever exposed to reading this one. I saw the movie with those babes in it. Man they squeezed some hotties into the dullest costumes. I think MTV should remake this for the 90�s. 15. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez I have never read it, but I think I will. I remember that this guy was supposed to be a very good author. He is a Latin writer, and Sam would make fun of me because I would call him a Spanish writer. I simply would reply to Sam, you are what you speak. Then he would say to that; �You are an idiot.� I have no comeback for the truth. 16. Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery My mom made me read this a long time ago when I was younger. I remember that I liked it a lot, and then it was made into a mini series and I watched that and liked it too. *17. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger I have only read it once, and remember liking it a lot. I don�t remember much about it though. I remember this one scene when he gets a hooker to come to his room. I remember that taught me never to get a hooker. Life lesson learned. *18. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald I really loved this book, and we analyzed the crap out of it. Despite all that I really enjoyed this book. I made fun of it a lot back in the day, but I did like it a lot. I think that my friends also liked it. 19. Left Behind by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins No, but it sounds really cool. It�s a graphic novel of the end of the world depicting horrible destruction of everything and then details what happens to those�left behind. I think it�s partly religious though. I get that sense. 20. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas Great book about Revenge and Pirates and the enduring of the soul. It�s a fun tale. I liked it. *21. The Color Purple by Alice Walker I didn�t even get all the way through the movie. I know it�s good, but I just never picked it up as a young lad. 22. Dune by Frank Herbert I read it. Then I read the next one. Then I read them all. I found that it was like Star Trek. Except the odd ones were the good ones in this series. I liked Dune, Children of Dune, and Heritics of Dune. I didn�t like Messiah of Dune or Chapter House Dune. God Emperor Dune was the strangest book. I liked that one a lot too, but it�s the weirdest. *23. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton Never saw the movie or read the book. I heard the book was good, but I think it had too much to do with Rebels. Meh. Rules� 24. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand Yes I read it in college. It�s a sharp book that has lots of nice juicy theories that are easy to like. It made me feel good about being evil. However, looking back I am not sure if it�s points were as valid as people think they are. It�s got some really interesting idea�s and concepts, and it�s cynical to a degree, which I liked. It�s also long. Is it a �classic�? No. Was it fun to read�yes. 25. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen I never really got into that whole scene of Victorian Women. So no. I didn�t. (maybe for English but I just cliffed it) 26. A Woman of Substance by Barbara Taylor Bradford Never read it. Never Heard of it. 27. Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts This is the book with Natalie Portman and Ashley Judd on the cover. Didn�t read it, but you can bet I saw the movie. The movie need to have more scenes near a pool. (I�m just saying!) 28. Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein No, but I regret not reading it. In fact I think I will pick it up soon. I think Kerbang told me about it. I bet I would like it. 29. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis I read them all when I was little and loved them. I didn�t realize it was a Christian allegory until later when I read other things by Lewis. It just made me want to read them again, but I fear the looks from the strangers on the train of me reading a �children�s book.� 30. Exodus by Leon Uris Movement of Ja people. No. I have read the bible part and hear the Bob Marley Song. 31. She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb This Wally Lamb tortures me by appearing on the list twice. 32. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle Oh I liked these lots, though I didn�t understand the entire thing about what was going on. I really remember liking them though, and I hear they are being turned into movies. It reminds me of middle school when I would take the Electronic Book Tests. 33. The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough I try to avoid reading books with the word �thorn� or �birds� in the title. 34. Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry By �birds� I meant all birds. Even Doves. I didn�t read this. I never will. 35. Beloved by Toni Morrison I know about it, but it just doesn�t interest me. I didn�t see the movie, I didn�t read the book. I think it�s an Ophra book too, which means I can�t read it due to a cosmic pact I made with Dr. Phil. 36. The Witching Hour by Anne Rice I like the title. I like the author. I am picturing little wispy imps dancing around. It makes me think of the �witch hunter� in Magic the Gathering. Tap to suck. I have never read this book. 37. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy I read Anna Kournikova by Playboy Magazine. 38. The Game of Kings: The Lymond Chronicles by Dorothy Dunnett The Game of Life: by Milton Bradley. Kids are worth 20,000 dollars. I am a journalist. Spin again. 39. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck Yes I read this. I liked the Pearl and Mice and Men more. I didn�t connect with the Migrant workers at the time. Maybe I would now. Probably not. But I read it. *40. The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery Yes I read this with my mother because she loved the book. However, Kerbang read it in the original French, the bastard, always showing me up. 41. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer�s Stone by J.K. Rowling I have not read the Harry Potter Books. Sorry. I just haven�t. 42. The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks No idea what this is, but I to draw in my notebook. Dingus used to have this great series depicting bird man and his adventures. Those rules. I am thinking I might go dig up some note book doodles for an entry. 43. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison I have never read it, and in fact never heard of it. I hope it�s about splitting a baby in half. 44. The Awakening by Kate Chopin I am an insomniac. I don�t need to be awakened. 45. Insomnia by Stephen King Shit. I am an idiot, I don�t need to read. 46. Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton Seen the movie. Man. I think I need to get reading. 47. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett This sounds like a book about Sodem and Gomora and the Jews and God. Not my cup of tea. It�s the sort of thing I don�t think I would pick up. 48. The Shipping News by E. Annie Proulx It takes place in Nova Scotia, near Maine. My promise to you is that nothing interesting happens there. This book will prove it. 49. Katherine by Anya Seton Frankly I would call it Anya, not Katherine were I Anya. Unless Katherine dies. *50. Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson Actually I really liked this book. I know I know, Japanese imprisonment camps and the like, but I liked it and frankly I thought the mystery built up well. The book was a little slow. I would have liked to see 30 less pages. But I didn�t win awards for my �books� have I. 51. 1984 by George Orwell Yes this is a very good book that you should read. I mean it. Go pick it up cause I think you will love it. It�s also kinda appropriate to the political climate of today. Somewhat. 52. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov I think I should read it, cause Kerbang always says that �Gump likes them young.� However I have only dated older women so what does that mean!? 53. Beach Music by Pat Conroy Beach Music! Beach Music!! What a freaking awful title. What about THE SOUND AND THE FURY. I read that. That title BLOWS beach music out of the water. I imagine Faulkner also blows Conroy out of the water. Listen up people, PASS on Beach Music. If that�s the best title she could come up with the inside has to be horrific. 54. Portnoy's Complaint by Phillip Roth Gump�s Complaint; stop writing books Roth, you are hurting my soul with your pathetic writing. HAHAHAHAHA. Never read it. 55. The World According to Garp by John Irving This was Irving�s second best book. I liked Owen Meany more, but this one was very good as well. I have actually never seen the movie. *56. The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury I remember reading it. I think. Sometime when I was younger. I don�t remember a lick about it though. Maybe it was another Bradbury book. *57. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne I liked this one a lot actually. Hazard taught it too us, and he made every book interesting. I think being crazy is an asset for a teacher. I did enjoy the book though. 58. Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice I read the book on my girlfriends recommendation, and I liked it better than the movie. That�s hard too with the movie being so good an all. It was a very nice story though. 59. Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel Like Shit for Shinola. I ain�t reding dis buk. I�n too smart fer dat. 60. The Shell Seekers by Rosamunde Pilcher I hope this is about people who pick bullet shells out of dead bodies, cause if its about a beach or about beach music, then get the fuck out. Screw it. 61. The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells I think this was written so that I will never read it. The purpose of this book was to create a book which Gump would never ever dream about reading. YA-YA. 62. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams I have never read the whole thing, but I started it once or twice. Also Kerbang and I listened to it on CD (Not tape) on a road trip that we took. It was a BBC production and frankly was very good. 63. Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll I saw the movie, and isn�t that enough. 64. East of Eden by John Steinbeck This is the Steinbeck I HAVEN�T read, so I am sure that�s why they picked it. Freaking Steinbeck. I compare you to Bruce Springsteen, and I don�t know why. 65. A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy O'Toole Actually this sounds like a really good book. Hmmm. Maybe this is a keepa. 66. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo Love the Musical, and I picked the book up to read it once. It�s War and Peace type big, and I just said fuck it. It�s about the war that they didn�t win. Maybe someday I will read it On My Own. 67. The Red Tent by Anita Diamant This book is about the life of ancient womanhood relating to the bible. My Mom has red it. We own it. I am not picking this one up. 68. The Plague Dogs by Richard Adams This is Douglas Adams less talented Brother who write a less appealing book that should have the words �GO AHEAD AND PANIC� written on the cover. 69. Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier A civil war book. Yippee. The designer of this survey needed to make a more subtly gay book since this is number 69. I suggest; the Two Grown Boys by Randy McNuts. 70. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier I already think that it should be called Daphne, not Rebecca. Thought Daphne is a pretty awful name. Make me think of Scooby Doo. 71. Generation X by Douglas Coupland Read it and loved it. Perfect book for the time period it came out. I am amazed that the book company picked it up all considering, but frankly I am glad. He�s put out some great books. 72. My Antonia by Willa Cather It seems that woman authors are popular on this list. I applaud that. At the same time, give me some machine guns, not a book about men with vaginas. I mean I suppose it would be a good read, but I�d prefer some Machine Guns. 73. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison I haven�t read the other book by Toni Morrison. I am certain to not read this one. 74. The Bone People by Keri Hulme Well this is what I am talking about. A book from New Zealand called the Bone People who accordingly writes like James Joyce. That sounds like a winner, and I mean that. I am picking this one up. 75. The Complete Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle I have read it and I liked it. I don�t know if I read the whole kit and caboodle, but I read a lot. 76. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky This was a really fantastic book. I loved it so much and I am glad that I read it. If you can get past the names, I suggest you pick this one up. 77. The Call of the Wild by Jack London I read this an loved it. It was a very manly book about the wilderness and bonding with your dog, and winning, and competing, and I think there were mutant Zombie Dogs too. No, but really I liked it so much I read the next few that weren�t as good. *78. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad I read this no doubt. I don�t think I got it though, as others seem to understand it more than I did. I recall liking parts, but I think I read it too fast in High School. 79. Talk Before Sleep by Elizabeth Berg I haven�t read it, but I hear it�s a touching tale about brest cancer. I think reading this will be like when I saw step mom. At one point its kids laughing and dancing, and the rest of the time its people fighting and crying, and oh yeah, dying. 80. Time and Again by Jack Finney This was a cool time travel novel about going back to the late 1800�s. It was pretty cool, and I bet that you would like it. It makes me think of Kerbang and how he always wants to write a story about time travel. *81. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain I read this; that�s for sure. I think I get it confused with Tom Sawyer though. Same difference right. Can anyone really tell the two apart? 82. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley I did read it, and expected monsters and gore, and got a sensitive tale of a man-monster. I liked it a lot in fact. I recommend it. I was tricked by Hollywood though. 83. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende I think it�s about a bar. It was later made into a TV show called Cheers. I am joking. I will never read ever again. 84. Watership Down by Richard Adams I loved Watership Down. It was scary and sad all at the same time. If you liked this I recommend Dunktin Wood, which is a similar, but more complex story of English moles in a mole community. But watership down was a blisteringly good tale. 85. Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky It is the book that I am currently reading. It�s a monster, but I am liking it so far. It�s such a long tale that I wonder where it can possibly go next. Dostoevsky worked it with this one. 86. The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck I read the Al Gore book Earth and Planet in balance, along with a Charge to Keep by Big Bush Boy there. It�s telling the styles in which these two books were written. Gore should have had a better editor, and Bush should have actually written the book about things that actually happened. 87. �And Ladies of the Club by Helen Hooven Santmyer Never heard of it. Never want to hear of it again. 88. Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns A sassy tree? That�s a good title. Written by Olive Burns�sounds like Olive Branch. I suspect lots and lots of tree refrences in the book. Perhaps the trees talk (whispers *even move*). 89. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I hate you Jane Austen and your witty Victorian women. I never read you, mostly cause Diana Sacs ruined your image. 90. Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie No, but I should read it. I know nothing about it. 91. Dracula by Bram Stoker I did read it. This one had more monster than Frankenstein did, but at the same time it was less of a tale of Vampire Slaying and more about the idea of Vamps and what they are in the human imagination. I�ll take Buffy thank you. 92. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan Survey says: wump wump waaaaa. I�m so sorry. No Joy or Luck for you. Please leave the club. 93. The Pilot's Wife by Anita Shreve It instantly makes me think of Needles wife Sara. And then I think, is this a novel about Sara? Then I answer no. Then I don�t read it. 94. Sophie's Choice by William Styron Gump�s choice is to be granted one wish. For this survey to end. 95. Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner When I first read the title I though it was called the Angel of Response. Like an angel that does something. Then I realized it was something else and not about and Angel at all. I want to die. 96. Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston Dude, God doesn�t have eyes! 97. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy Dude, God�s package is huge. *98. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett I read this and I really liked it a lot. I mean I really liked it. When I was young and once when I was older. I like it. 2 more. 99. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte The Bronte sister that SHOULD have killed herself. Not that the other one did, but after Weathering Heights I wanted to kill myself. I think the reader of this survey will note that I grow more and more suicidal as the survey goes on. Damn Survey. *100. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens I read parts, but I won�t like, I never read it through. But for fucks sake who doesn�t know the story. Would reading it even be interesting? Once the Muppets do something, there is no point to reading it. I love those fucking Muppets. I want animal to jump out of my stomach right now. Fuck yeah. I think I did okay. I think there were too many Chick novels on the list, and no offense to chicks, but I can live my life only reading a couple novels about chicks. Chickies. Chicken. Chuck. Chippy. Chitlins. Chunky. Crap. I wish death upon myself and all others who complete this survey. Not really. I don�t want to you die from a curse. I have much better plans than that. ~Gump �Stabby� Hood. | |||||||||||
