2004-10-14 - 12:01 a.m. 3-1 Just in case you don�t know it�s Yankees Red Sox and the Red Sox are spineless shitfuckers who can�t fucking hit the ridiculously horrible Jon Lieber. Is it over? No. Has it been hell? Yes. In honor of that. Here is my stream of consciousness. I just deleted my first sentence because it was really graphically violent. I feel like my girlfriend needs to talk to the most when there is a pivotal Red Sox Yankees game on. On the road I wanted to talk to her so bad, but there are few moments when I can�t clear my head, and I was just so upset at how bad things were going. I want water, my lips are really dry. Back. I read a story about a man who was being killed by the red sox. I am listening to Mr. Jones again. After every Red sox lost I will listen to this song and wonder how bad Derek Jeter would be on the Red Sox. I can only imagine so bad. Here are players I have no faith in. 1) Kevin Millar 2) Mark Bellhorn 3) Bill Mueller. I think Vomiting Cod should be the Big Fat Obnoxious Boss on Fox. He loves fucking with people and in fact this could be his dream job. He would be much better pretending to be rich than actually being rich. At least at the end he could tell everyone that it was a joke and they would believe that. If he was rich he would just do the same thing but be insane. When I play basketball I feel like the Red Sox. Sam is the Yankees. Sure I win every now and then, but he came back to win when I had 18 points. He tipped me with 12, and then defeated me when I had 17. I am his Red Sox Rival in basketball. Sometimes my knee twitches, and I know its something bad. It tickles now but in 20 years its going to be really bad. I am not even kidding but I am hoping for a robot leg in 20 years. I have always been half jealous of Terry Fox who ran across Canada (the whole thing) with one leg. I feel like people just take you a bit more seriously if you have one leg. And a lot more seriously with a robot leg. But really, if you are having a interview, and one guy comes in with one leg, but not like hopping, but walking, and you look and see that he has no foot, you know this guy is for real. He lost a leg. He has had the time to evaluate his life. His life involves a loss of a leg. I can�t get over this. Like after I have some kids and take some family photos, I might just get caught in an elevator or something on purpose and get a fake leg and a wonderful settlement. I can only seeing this making my life better. Because think of it this way. As our bodies get older, they fall apart. But as we get older, our technology gets better, hence you fake leg can only get BETTER. And say it gets run over by a train, you can get another one, and it didn�t hurt at all. Like around 48 years of age, I will seriously look into this. The thing is I bet a lot of my friends would get one too. And would it be better to get one, or two fake legs. Though I feel two could really allow you to like get a spring loaded option to make you jump in emergencies and shit, one fake leg is a lot better than two. Two fake legs implies a land mine, or a bomb, or like bookie amputation involving cement and sharks. A guy missing two legs went through some rough shit and lost two legs and just might not have come back from it. He might just be too fucked up to ever function again. The one legged guy was involved in a much less severe accident, like a shopping cart mishap, a subway mistake, or like getting his pants caught in a escalator. I always have slightly feared this. Like having pants just a little two long, and being dragged into the churning gears of the deadly escalator. I�m telling you -It could happen! I might sleep a little less tonight looking at that glowing green light flash as the stair disappears into no where�or perhaps the land of the amputated legs. I think the Red Sox have actually driven me insane. Which, while I slobber and start to chew my skin while I sleep, maybe a good thing for my audience. I mean is there anything more interesting that a writer going insance. Inasane. Fuck it. If the Red Sox Yankees Rivalry were actually a boxing match, the Ref would have called the fight by now. | |||||||||||
