2003-12-23 - 9:34 a.m. 20 WAYS TO GET YOURSELF KILLED DURING "THE LORD OF THE RINGS" 20 WAYS TO GET YOURSELF KILLED DURING "THE LORD OF THE RINGS" 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?" 2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better." 3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat. 4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring." 5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies. 6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts 7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson." 8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!" 9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians 10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs. 11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck. 12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style. 13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!" 14. Ask people around you why Sauron did send a "Terminator" from the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins 15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!" 16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre. 17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?" 18. Everytime you see computer animation point out to your friends "THAT'S NOT REAL!". 19. When Sam starts to carry Frodo up the mountain start the "Rudy" chant. 20. Tell the girls in the theater that Orlando Bloom is gay, and him and Gimli are more than "good friends" (an elf and a dwarf...he'd never hear the end of it.) | |||||||||||
