2003-08-30 - 9:49 a.m. Tailgating Weekend I am on the threshold. I am almost too old for this. I am going on a Bar Crawl this weekend, and if any of you know what that it, I imagine you know what I mean by this: A bar crawl is this. I will being going to Connecticut with about Thirty to Forty people. The group of us will be taking public transportation and we will go downtown. I am talking about the bar area; not some 70's love orgy. At that point we will begin our assault of the bars. The goal I believe is eight bars in five hours. One or more drink per bar. That�s not too bad, but I imagine that I will have more than that. There is this one bar called City Steam (which makes me think Cleveland Steam), which serves this drink called the Naughty Nurse. It�s a pretty good beer. It will whoop me. There will be a lot of fun I hope, but it could be a disaster. You just never can tell. We all bought a really cool T-shirt for the trip though, so we will take over bars. I think this is really good idea, and I have been told that I am a good time when on a drinking adventure. Not by Kerbang though. HA! Gump, �Sometime I like to get really wasted� Kerbang, �No kidding.� But this will be a whirlwind of running all over the city in a pack of humans who are all getting more and more loose. I have been in a crowd this large since college I don�t think. I am not bringing my camera though, because that would result in me either eating it, or perhaps losing it. Neither is a good option. But all in all, wish Gump well, and hope I don�t end up like this:
And that�s mostly because I have to get up the next day and go to the Dave Matthews Concert. I really liked Dave a lot when I was in high school and didn�t miss a show until college. However, I haven�t been in some time, so it sounded like a good idea to go. Of course what I really blocked out is that the barcrawl was the night before. And that we would be doing this right after the crawl.
And frankly the last thing I want to be doing is recovering from a hangover while trying to keep down hot dogs. Oh man. But the girls insisted on a tailgate. �Oh Gump, those are always so much fun! You just have to come� �We can sit out there all day and just talk and drink and have fun� Translation Talk: Complain. The girls will pretty much discuss the issues that went bad from the bar crawl. Something will happen that will be and hopefully it won�t involve me. In fact, a surprisingly few number of events that have gone wrong are my fault. Nonetheless, outfits, hair, sluttiness, foolishness, and scandal will be discussed. Drink: That�s drinking. I like this one. Though while tailgating this involves peeing. Peeing in a public parking lot is never easy because it mean hitting the smelly port-a-potty. They just smell like chemicals and my hair goes a little bit whiter every time I enter one. I don�t know how you girls do it. It must be so messy. Usually I just close me nose and eyes and hope it doesn�t splash on me. Sorry ladies� Actually I am just kidding. Fun: Well, sitting on asphalt in the sun could be fun for some, but for the pale Gump, we are praying for clouds. Meh�If I get drunk enough again, I am sure I won�t feel the burn until later. Also, what might be fun is the kid who has a wicked crush on my girlfriend is driving down to come to the concert. This kid is so strange, and he totally wants to mack. He�s brining his girlfriend too, who when he gets drunk admits to being second hat. That�s so ridiculous, but they both have such low self confidence they can�t break up. My point is, once I get a few beers in him, it will fun to fuck with him a little. I say a little, cause I feel that it will never happen with Shelly and Chuckles. This is because he�s a freak. Mind you he makes so much money I want to cry, but he is a loser. To tease him too much would be mean. Mean like kicking a puppy with three legs. Regardless to say, she asks me often if I mind if they hang out, because they were friends in High School. I tell her that I am not holding her in the relationship. She is free to leave at anytime, so you hang out with him all you like. If you�d rather have him, just let me know. I won�t expect a call though. I am not very intimidated by this kid. He shakes a lot, and cries a lot too. Maybe he has problems, but you don�t ask a three legged puppy what its problem is�you just refrain from kicking it; regardless of how much it humps you girlfriends leg. However the REAL question stands. Can I handle two days of heaving drinking? Am I am man? Is my body able to suffer the consequences? Well faithful readers, I think not. See you on the asphalt. 
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