2003-10-23 - 1:59 p.m. I'm the first mammel to have hands Most of us have something special. At least that�s what we are told. We are told that somewhere inside us lies some sort of unique talent I don�t believe that for a second. We are all better at something and worse at others. That much is true. But the lesser known thing that is pretty much true is that someone else is most likely better at it than we are. And if THAT�s not true, what�s guaranteed is that someone in the future is defiantly going to be better than us at it. You are not the best card player, you are not the best running, and you are certainly not the best at your video game of choice. You aren�t the best mom, you aren�t the best lover, and I bet my balls that you aren�t the best friend. That�s not saying that you aren�t good, but people often trick themselves into bounding themselves to such limits of best and worse. Well both applies in life. You are not the worst and you are not the best. Now there are some things that can only happen once, and those lucky people to fall into that situation are usually glorified for little more than happenstance tinkering. Does Columbus really deserve a day of vacation? I bet to fuck Canada doesn�t get that day off. And sure, Beowulf and the Odyssey were nice stories but the writers today are much better than they were. And I am better even relatively. But they came first. Life is nice and liner like that. All that being said, I do believe that we all have a natural inclination to excel at certain things more than others. But this doesn�t mean that every person has a unique talent that exceeds someone else�s talent. I remember Dingus told me a story once about a woman at work who maintained that she thought that God gave larger people beautiful faces to make up for there lesser bodies. When pressed she still maintained that God would grant a person some sort of redeemable quality to make them special. I call this the snowflake argument. We are all unique. Dingus accounts that he disagreed with this for several reasons, the most obvious being that he and I both know people who are inferior in every way. And that fact stands. There are those that exist and are lesser than you in every way. However, that fact also states that there are those who are superior than us in almost every way as well. Both are pills that are hard to swallow. Take a retarded homeless man. Not to pick on the homeless, but as far as skills go, I would go head to head with this subject in every single imaginable contest, expect maybe dumpster diving. The fact of the matter is my physical ability exceeds his, and my reason and intelligence also allow me more ability to learn and adapt faster than he could ever hope to. Just to note, this man exists and I do not question his existence, or make a statement that he is a lesser human. I am just stating that all of his abilities are lesser than mine. But I will also submit that there are those who are far superior than I am. A very good example of this would be Dingus. Well, an exaggerated version of Dingus. You see he and I were very similar in our lives, but he exceeded my skill in almost every facet of life. While I played soccer, he was the Capt, and though our senior year we took all the same classes, his grades were superior across the board. Then in other athletic competitions, such as tennis, basketball, or even video games his talent would exceed mine. And in the girls department his desirability allotted him a gaggle of females, shockingly exceeding my number of claimants. Now I feel that this comparison may have been a bit unfair, since I do not feel that his superiority exist in every facet, but I maintain that there are those that exist who could defeat me in every aspect of life. The thing that limits this is simply time. Over the years Dingus and I, as well as the homeless man and I, have taken different routes, and spent time practicing and studying different things. So the snowflake theory resides on the theory that some people are better than others because they have spent more time on something that someone else. Let me say that in a better way. Were dingus and I to enter into a new situation, with no previous experience at the subject at hand, he would learn it faster and do it better than I would. I, in turn, would far exceed the skill level of the retarded homeless man. The only difference is this. The senior executive who has spent 20 years doing economic tables is far more skilled at it than I would be. However, the chances are, entering into a new setting, a new scene entirely, I may have the advantage. Practice deceives the actual skill of the person. We are all snowflakes. But we do not have one talent that is better than others. What we have is more practice at something. This is a hard thing to see, but for example, when your grade school teacher presents you with math problems, you are overwhelmed where they come to her naturally. However, now I am probably the master, and the more adaptable and intelligent at the subject. Dingus also noted that Professors aren�t necessarily smarter, as much as they are better versed in the subject. �they have just read more-- He feels that he could teach every undergraduate class after the intensive coursework of a PhD program. Which brings me to my point. (which will feel to you like how I felt when Quentin Taretino�s movie Dusk Til Dawn went from a psychological thriller to a movie about stripping vampires) I have a talent. You see, swear words and body parts are usually made into words to insinuate what the actual action is. You know what I mean when I say I got hit in the jimmies. You understand what I am talking about when I have to flog the Bishop. In fact, you even know what I am talking about when I talk about getting basted in the meat wagons. That�s the funny thing about words. It�s not so much what I say, but what you think I am saying. So my sole talent to make normal words into other words. That is to say that I can speak to you using very few words you actually recognize, but for some reason you will be able to understand me. These words can be gibberish, wrong words, or just words used in interesting ways, but for some reason I force people to understand me. Now it won�t happen right away. I break you down. I will say things like �The elf�s box went a little to lipptor� and you will understand that Katie clogged the upstairs toilet. Now it�s not crystal clear understanding but people quick. And that�s it. That�s my sole talent. | |||||||||||
