2005-06-02 - 1:43 p.m. The Men I have Fought: The Jaguar Prince I have fought 25 men in my life and 22 of then have fallen by my hand. One was about to bring me my doom, when a Dolphin knocked the weapon out of his hand, and saved my life. The dolphin's name was Icarus. I learned this because he died saving my life that day, as the very same weapon his dislodged, impaled him. His last words to me in the ancient langue of the merfolk were �My name was Icarus. We are not good friends. The man who I was fighting was so moved by the sacrifice of Icarus that he took his own life by throwing his body onto the very same sword that he intended to end my life with, but instead ended his own, and Icarus�. The final man was a Jaguar Prince. He fought me with many wild Jaguar and we fought over many days to a stalemate on the cliffs of the leopard coast*. I slowly learned that the best way to kill a Jaguar was to bite it in the side of the neck, for the Jaguar is neither used to being bit, nor evolutionarily designed to withstand the bite of an enraged human. The Jaguar Prince, a coward to the end, tried to trick me into a draw by extending his hand in a manner in which to shake my own. He then attempted to pull me off the edge of a waterfall, but I had stored the tooth of a deadly jaguar in my mouth which I used to bite his hand, mangling it perhaps inhibited his future chances of self pleasure. I was dropped off the waterfall, but managed to survive the fall and ascend back to peak to end the stalemate. However, despite my minor wound, the Jaguar Prince escaped, and I was left alone, with many a dead Jaguar. (*Incidentally the Leopard Coast was misnamed by Francseco VonWildhelm when his mistakenly took the absurd amount of ravenous Jaguars for a baffling number of bloodthirsty panthers. While this mistake has been corrected historically the name stuck mostly out of costal shipping familiarity seeing that the Jaguar Coast was and still is the central exporting location for Macarianal Haggleberries.) | |||||||||||
