2003-08-22 - 10:17 a.m. My Five Questions Part 2 Ha Ha Things have come full circle. Some started this and I traced it bad to one of my original questions. Well I demanded satisfaction and I now have 5 MORE QUESTIONS These are provided by Shesajar who�s tag line is �this machine kills fascists� and she has a south park figure as he picture. I am thinking good things from this one. Now last time I answered the questions I gave both a serious and a funny. I am less ambitious so I will mix the two in these questions.
1. Without using the �street name you were born with and first pet�s name� formula, if you were to give yourself a porn name, what would it be, and why? Now my issue is that would I get to pick the name? I don�t think they would let me. But if I had to pick I would be Butch Bigballs. I just like the idea of being known for large testicals. However, they would not allow that name and if I were actually in porn, I would be known as Tiny Tim. This is not like Little John, who actually is a giant guy. They would call me Tiny Tim for the size of the unit. I have a feeling that the director would be like�would some one get him erect. I would sigh and leave the set. I can stack up with the 9-12 inch man rods I see in these films. For just a cool name. Frank McGraw. I would see a film with Frank McGraw in it. 2. What is your opinion on sodomy laws and the recent Supreme Court ruling? Dude. The courts have no right deciding what IS and IS NOT moral. That is such a religious issue. It�s like gay marriage. Why can�t they get married? Has anyone said anything besides its �immoral.� If you want to say things like; harsher laws against adult/underage sodomy then fine, you are protecting children from child molesters. I could even did harsher laws against rape victims that are sodomized. But to say that two grown men can have anal sex is just stupid. It�s not like they are doing it in my living room! I mean what am I being protected against in that law? God�s Wrath? I will take my chances. 3. When was first kiss and what was it like? Oh god. Man you nailed a good story. I dated Nora for about a year and a half. For the first three months; nothing. We were both 15 and she was a good catholic girl who wanted to take things slow. Dating someone for three months NOW and not kissing them is call friendship, but then it was okay I guess. However, I respected her and liked her so I didn�t switch horses mid-race. That came later. Nora and I had talked about it, since I was a pent up little sex pot that needed to touch a girl. I was going crazy. I would pretty much touch any girl that gave the chance at this point. Nora didn�t understand this feeling I think. Finally Nora gave in to Gump�s persistent wooing. I tried several times at the football game, and got her neck a little, or like her cheek, but no direct contact. But we decide had a talked and decided to try to have a �make out�. This is actually embarrassing. The first problem was that our parents watched us like hawks. My house is the anti-fool around house because my parents are everywhere. I can�t get them out of my damn hair. They infest my home. This was not a good place to have a �first kiss.� Her house was the home of her 6�8� dad who was cleaning his gun collection the first time I came over. He was the biggest hawk of them all. For a big man he could sneak. There were rules. I could come over, but I couldn�t go upstairs. I could watch TV, but we had different blankets. This man was worried that my sperm were going to swim down my pant leg, across the room and right into her vagina. Her house was out. I think he would have crushed me. So that left a public location or a makeout party. Little known fact that you actually have to have made out to be invited to that sort of party, which is just a scam to make parents feel safe about their kids. �Oh no one will make out, there are too many off them.� Bullshit. But anyway none of my friends were skanky enough to host one yet. So in public was an option, and that�s why I tried at the football game. She suggested that we try it somewhere else. The church. Yep, that�s right, when the going gets tough we turned to God. See Nora and I sold donuts together every Sunday in front of my church right after mass for our youth program. Between the last mass and the time our parents picked us up we had a good 15 minute window. Plus I lied to my mom who was picking us up so it would be more like 30. So we sell and wait. The room in which we were selling the donuts from was the boiler room of the church. If you can imagine a cool December day with snow on the ground. The romantic spittle and hiss of a gigantic boiler. The frost on the half open windows. My in my Sunday best, which was jeans and a soccer T-shirt with a crappy blue jacket. Her in an oversized sweater. Jelly donuts all over the place, powder on our face, glaze on our hands. Well the romantic factor was low, but we (I) were (was) horny. So everyone leaves. The church is pretty empty. And look at her. I think girls see guys change, cause I was thinking dirty things, and she instantly picked up on it. However, she had no excuse. I went over and hugged her. I thought that seemed right. Then I picked her up and put her on this workbench thing. I looked at her and asked if she was okay. She said she was just nervous. I told her it was okay and went in for the kill. Now all I can seem to remember my mind thinking was, �AHHH WHAT�S GOING ON WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS GREAT MORE MORE YES AHHHHHHHHH GIRLS ARE SOFT AHHHHH OH GOD� And I imagine that was pretty apparent as when we stopped she told me that was more of an attack than a kiss. A tongue assault. I didn�t know any better!!! So then I tried again but much more softer and nicer. It was actually pretty good when The boiler room door opened. And standing there was the priest of the church who looked really nervous and was like, �Oh excuse me�,� and then left. Nora was mortified. We had been making out in a church, and a priest walked in ran out. I mean it�s his house. He should have tossed us. But nonetheless Nora took it as a sign and it was a while before we tried that again. I couldn�t help but laugh. I wonder what the priest told people about it? 4. What novel means the most to you, and why? In High School, I really liked the Old Man and the Sea. I think it was a combination of doing well in the class, having it taught to me by a crazy professor, and the fact it was really good. Now It probably, Life After God, which was a fantastic book. This is for many reasons. There are outside circumstances relating my friends and the book which make it more important. However, I don�t want to get into that. Mostly because the book is what I would love to be, a clear, short, brilliant piece of work that tells the story of an idea through the method of human experience. First the author can say so much with a simple sentence. It amazes me because I am so long winded that I wish I could write that succinctly. Second, its really depressing, and this appeals to me. I think that its okay to be depressed and if you don�t� examine it you won�t know what you are going through when it happens. Third, because the style is fantastic. Most people write about something. Like my story with Nora above. It�s probably funny, and cute, but it doesn�t say anything larger than the story. Doug is able to tell a fictional story that is centered on an idea like the desire for humans to be infinite. For me to talk about what it means to be infinite would be boring, but when it�s written through a story, it�s much more understandable and readable. I found it to be both cute and heartbreaking as it explores the feelings of growing older, detaching fro society, living in a world without fortified religion, the pains of losing love, and the insignificance of human life. It�s not a �happy� book. However everything in there has been what has shown up in my diary in some form. I hesitated on telling this book though because it�s so much better than anything I have ever done, that my POS diary looks like a weak thirty-five Xeroxed version of the book, getting paler and paler with every re-copy. I am not fishing for compliments either, once you have read the book, trust me; this will be like eating Spam at your wedding. 5. If you could go back in time to have one date with anyone (famous and dead), who would it be? Why did you pick that individual? What would the date be like? First; I would go to the future. The past is so boring compared to the future. I mean think about it. Do I want to fly in a car, or ride a horse. Come on. Were I to go to the future I wouldn�t want to meet a person, I would want to see society and what it�s done and built and become. Individuals interest me but not as much as the way society moves and changes. If I had to go to the past I would most likely want to meet Churchill I think. I think that England which is usually classified as a wussy nation, did some truly amazing things against the Germans in WW2, and were unified under this leader who wasn�t anything too special from his earlier years in life. I would want to know what he thinks and what he was planning for the nation of England. That interests me. The date would probably be smoking and drinking scotch over a nice meal, while bombs are being dropped in the background. It would probably be good fun. Besides that, maybe some stockbroker in 1929 so I could put money in my name for the future in GE stock. It hit the all time low that year!! I always have terrible answers for these questions.----> Sorry. Click an entry back for the good stuff.OKAY. If you want to take this, here is the cut and paste part. You can ask me or Shesajar to write the questions. YES I WILL STILL DO THEM!!! 1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed. 2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions. 3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers. 4 -- You'll include this explanation. 5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed. | |||||||||||
