2005-01-28 - 10:26 a.m. The Missing Link: Gymclass My best friend Vomiting Cod and I were disgustingly best friends. It was to the point where our senior year we had the exact same class schedule. After our home room which were different cause he had the last name �C� for Cod, and I had �H� for hood, we would literally sit next to each other for the rest of school. Every class. We ate lunch together. Then after we had soccer practice together, and then he would drive me home. THEN WE WOULD TALK ON THE PHONE. His mother told his girlfriend once, �If that Gump was a girl, he�d marry him in a second.� We used to have this class together called �Word Processing� which was a way to make us learn how to type. The poor teacher in that class barking out �ASDF JKL;� and giving us the most boring crap assignments. We were seniors at this point, second semester seniors � who got into zero trouble, were into college, and were just sick of it. This class was mostly freshman and sophomores. We were Kings. When the seating chart got passed around he told us to write down what we would like to be called. Normally this would be like if Elizabeth wanted to be called Bits or Liz, but I wrote �Chainsaw� instead of Gump. He called me Chainsaw for the rest of the year. There was this kid named Kenny, who in my mind was the same height as me sitting down when he was standing up. He used to come and talk to us. He would talk about how some girl had nice �tits� or how he got a cherry bomb and was going to light it. He told this so we would think he�s cool. He was the classic definition of a henchman. We could make him do anything. And we did. So those are just a couple memories of Me and the Cod However, through all my sifting through memories in my life time there is something I have absolutely no memory of � Gym. For all the hours I logged with this kid, I can�t remember ever being in the same Gym class with him. And that�s something I would remember because he�s pretty much the only person I am competitive with, because we are like brothers. I would remember one epic badminton tournament. Or a slicing pass right to him that he wailed home for the goal. Or a stiff block on one of his underpowered layups ;). You see I remember this because when ever we get into some physical test of skill its pretty epic. I remember the first time I ever beat him at basketball as the sun had set and one lonely light lit the court as we were shooting in the dark playing to 21. I remember swishing home three straight free throws. Then I recall him coming back from Zero to score 21 straight points when I had 18. But in my whole life I have not a single memory of being in his gym class which mystifies me. Maybe someone else does? My only conclusion is that we didn�t have gym together. We would have shot arrows at freshman, or bashed each other in floor hockey, or something. But we didn�t. So I guess we never did. | |||||||||||
