2004-01-28 - 11:01 a.m. Lonely I feel so alone. I feel so alone The hunger and the misery of living has forced me into loneliness. But it�s only now that my heart feels so isolated from the rest of the world that I know that loneliness is not something we experience individually. I feel so alone But we have to go through it alone. And that bug� that pain hurt � is something that makes life such a waste. I feel so alone And I have been feeling the ever-growing pointlessness of life recently, and how everything seems less and less important. How every day seems more and more bleak. I want to gather the yearbooks of the people my age and look back. disappear I want to disappear in the faces of moments of happiness. Moments of innocence. I want to search for the meanings of people�s looks. Their captured emotions. I feel so alone I remember when tears came so easily, when something effected me. I remember when the world meant something to me. I can see the smiles of the people from the past and remember it with such warmth. Are they smiling because they were taught too? Are they glaring at the camera trying to play a part? Or do they still feel like they are part of something bigger? Do they feel whole? hole When does that innocence wear off? Are these people part of their own movie? I remember feeling like the leading role in a story that was filled with drama and excitement. These pictures that I see of happiness and glory lead me to see that youth belongs locked away from me. memories The door is shut to the past and now I am still writing a story. But people have stopped reading. Because my story is all too familiar and far too painful. you it�s the story of a boy who has grown up and is left in turmoil. he is left to exist. his dreams have died and the artlessness of his youth is something he pathetically grasps onto. those memories are like grabbing at broken glass cutting you deeper the harder you squeeze let go And when he does let go he will realize that the world has grown, and he has grown despite his dreams of blissful immortality. And I am alone. His blood is infected with the disease of humanity. I am sick of loneliness. | |||||||||||
