2004-01-06 - 12:32 p.m. The Lion, the leetch, and the Music Store �I like that album, we have played it a few times at the store. It�s upbeat. Nothing like what I usually listen to.� �What do you normally listen to?� It�s at this point when I realize that I have become that guy. Mr. Guy who Hits on the Clerk. In my life I try to avoid being placed in such awkward situations. You have all seen this guy, he oogles the young 17 year old check out girl. After about 5 minutes you realize that�s not French bread in his basket. Well I became this man. But only in perception. Let me rewind. I was waiting to meet with my girlfriend, but the temperature was not 20 degress, so I decided to wait in the local CD store, and walk around in there until she came to meet me. I didn�t have too much time, so I purchased my goods in anticipation of her arriving. I went to this clerk. The same clerk at the beginning of the story. She looked at me, I looked at the floor. She was a younger attractive girl, probably about 18 years old. She was bagging my DVD�s and asked if I found everything. I, of course, replied yes. But then I went on. I commented simply that it was really cold out. To which she said that she made a mistake by wearing less clothing than she should of (which I have found is a general problem of girls her age) so I commented. This next comment was too far. I was officially holding up the line. I stated that, �I felt bad for her that she was so near the door.� Now here is the thing. I DID feel bad. I really meant what I said, but GOD, in retrospect, she must have been thinking otherwise. And then she smiled and I walked away. But then it happened. My girlfriend called. She was going to be late. Late by about 20 minutes. So now I had to stand in the artic tundra for 20 minutes, or fight off embarrassment and hang around the store. I hung around the front for a few minutes looking at things, and then actually looked at a pack of Magic cards. The girl both caught me looking at the cards, and then making eye contact with her. My god there couldn�t be a worse moment. It�s bad enough that you already made your purchase, but now you are still in the store and hanging around lecherously. Plus she caught you both looking at the dorkiest game ever, and looking at her. You know that she is now repulsed by you for 1 of 2 reasons. The first reason is because you a sick pervert that is just trying to check her out, which wasn�t the case. The second reason is because you actually play magic, which � wasn�t the case either�. Oh god. But the front of the store was out of the question now. The store wasn�t that big but I just went through CD�s for about the next 15 minutes. But, as everyone knows, the more you look�the more you buy. So I went up to purchase two CD�s. It had been a while since I bought a CD, but I figured now was a good a time as any. And as fate would have it, the cashier open was the same girl. Damn you Fate, you cruel bitch. So this time I was the one looking forward, and she was the one looking down. She didn�t bother to ask me if I had found everything, because I can only imagine she thought I was looking for her tat-tats. I maintained my composer as she compliment an album pick, at which point the transaction was completed. She handed me my goods, and my receipt. But I stood there, realizing that I was the biggest buffoon to walk the crust of the earth. And that�s when I said it, �What do you normally listen to?� Probably the lamest start to some sort of pick up line thing that the clerk in the MUSIC store probably gets all the time. I could tell by the look her face, the quiver of her lips, and the dilation of her pupils that this was bad. I muttered an, �oh god, I�m sorry� and darted into the cold where I remained for the next 8 minutes, until my girlfriend showed up and we got dinner. I told Shelly all about it at dinner. She said that I should wear a sign to warn the world of my idiodic tendancies. She said, �Oh Honey, you really should have a sign that says �I�m an idiot, not a man beast� so that these poor girls don�t feel so tortured by you. So the man-beast is declared to never return to that store� Well�unless it�s cold. | |||||||||||
