2004-04-01 - 10:59 a.m. It's All a Lie, or its it!?! So as far as this day goes, no one believes anything you say. I could be like I just saw hulk Hogan and Mecha-Gump making out and not a single one of you sick freaks would believe me. Mecha gump: NOT EVEN ME, BECAUSE MY JAW DOES NOT PROPERLY HINGE FOR HUMAN ORAL CONTACT. I AM ONLY PROGRAMED TO LUBERCATE FOR SUPIEROR MECHA CUNNINLINGUS. You will do no such thing, my tin titan. Back in the holding cell!!! Mecha Gump: LADIES I AM YOUR SWEET METAL HONEY POT!!! CALL ME!!! HE MAKES ME CLEAN HIS SHEET STAINS BECAUSE HE HAD BLADDER MALFUCTION! HELP ME! __________________ Anyway, I will just tell a story about one of my pranks. My roommate in college was a little fem. Not hugely fem, but like gay enough that he spent like 30 minutes doing his hair. He�s very metrosexual. Anyway, so this kid in the Musical we were doing (Jesus Christ Superstar) was clearly gay. And he was being really friendly to my roommate. We will call them Peter and Jake. Peter is really gay, Jake is just seen by others as kinda gay. So I like with Jake and I think, hmmm, time to fuck with him. So I get one of my girlfriends to help me out. I buy this horribly ambiguous card. �We have been together for a while, and I think that it�s become a really experience that we both will cherish forever. Thank you so much for just being there. Your Special Friend Peter� I get it all done in girl handwriting, and have butterflies on the card, and then I send to Jake through the student mail. And my gag was the following: Jake was pretty phobic at that point and Peter was weird anyway. They had been hanging out and Jake was worried that Peter was making passes at him. I figured that this would flip my roommate out. So I meet him for lunch and I waited by mailbox where we usually met. He would open it, freak out, I would confess � we would have a good laugh. Whatever. Something delayed Jake that day and I said, awww fuck it I will talk to him later. DAY 1: Jake opens it, and freaks out. He actually I believes skips rehearsal that day, and I don�t see him. In the meantime he makes his goal to never talk to Peter again. He starts thinking of ways to let the kid off easy. DAY 2: I got to class early, my roommate skips classes because he is stressed and needs to take a �me� day. I do not see him once all day. DAY 3: Again, I have earlier classes, and we do not meet for lunch mostly because I think Jake was afraid of seeing Peter in class, or opening his mail. But we have rehearsal that night and so he knows that he has to �face the music� with Peter sometime. I am studying and he says to me� �So what do you think I should say to Peter tonight.� And I say, oblvious, �Why would you need to say something to Peter?� �You didn�t hear? He totally sent me a gay card.� I pause, I see the panic, and I smile. I stand up, because I know that the revelation will either lead to anger, or relief. I don�t want to be sitting down for this one. �Um�I sent the card to you.� �What? But it�s all girly. Your handwriting sucks!� �Yeah, Blah Blah wrote that cause I asked her too. I was supposed to tell you a few days ago, but you came to lunch late so I just forgot.� �You�re an asshole� �I know,� and I get my smirk, and I start to laugh. I just can�t help it. My friend know exactly this look. It�s my Sneaky look. �So he didn�t send it� �Nope, all me� �Thank god�� And it was resolved and I try to remind him of it all the time. It was really funny as he started detailing to me the panic I caused him. Later that year he made out with Mr. T, and I won the A-team�s van. And I am pregnant with Keria Knightly�s baby. | |||||||||||
