2006-05-19 - 12:04 p.m. Girls Can't Rock. I was watching the TV this morning, which is in fact, the purpose of the TV. That in of itself is interesting. Something was designed to be actively watched and this worked. Seems like the David Blaine swim-a-thon. Just a bad idea. And yet, man, did they really make the watching box work. Anyway, so this super hot model chick comes on. Most chicks on TV are super-hot model chicks, so this isn�t a surprise. She�s modeling for a clothing store. And so each outfit called for a different pose. It was all pretty standard fair until we got to the pink hat, pink terrycloth, pike skirt outfit. The girl starting trying to do her best air guitar. Okay. I wasn�t really into the commercial but the sight of this heroin addicted wanna be euro model trying to swing her arm around in an air guitar motion took her from being �sorta sexy� to �Horrifically awful to look at.� Just for you ladies out there, take stock. Air ANYTHING is a bad idea. For a girl, guy, whatever. Its mostly not going to get you any tail whatsoever. And lets be honest. Life is about getting tail. Sex sells for a reason. It�s because I�m buying it. (that didn�t come out right). Anyway, when men do air �instruments� its pretty goofy, and usually stupid. But that kinda stupid looks good on most guys. I�m not saying girls see it and are like �that�s the one�. I�m saying they see if and are like �well�maybe�.� But trust me. It takes a very goofy girl to properly do an air guitar. And when she does she is making a statement. The statement is �I will date men, despite men not being sexually attracted to me.� There is nothing feminine or seductive about the air guitar. Yes, I�ll laugh, because it�s funny. But my chances of sleeping with said girl go down 75% after playing a fake guitar. Let me clarify. A funny goofy girl that air guitars doesn�t ruin her chances. Guys memories don�t last that long. But you can�t be wearing an evening dress and sipping wine, and break out the air guitar. I would compare that sight to the sexual nuclear bomb of seeing �the string�. I�m not talking about a g-string either. You figure it out. Like all good things in life, this has an advantage. You know the creepy old guy that comes up to you in the bar. --- Air Guitar. He�ll run. You know that husband that�s bugging you about something. �Oh honey I love this song!� Air guitar. My happy goes away. You know your boss that won�t give you a raise. Jump on his desk. Air Guitar. Can you say corner office? Two out of Three of these have been known to work � in my mind | |||||||||||
