2004-01-21 - 10:45 a.m. Self, Love, Sex, and The love of self-sex. The Male of the human species has some odd tendencies. On which is his constant desire for �self relief� and by this I mean �shellacking the tuna.� As I was sitting there, on my back, limp bizkit in hand, and man goo on stomach, I thought about several things. The first was that I shouldn�t have skimped at the store and gone without Kleenex. Mostly because this sock that I have been using just isn�t cutting it, and I don�t even know whose it was in the first place. And then I thought, God, I am really glad that I don�t ejaculate tiny chicken bones or anything like that. Because I am afraid, as a man, that experiencing pain from ejaculation would not cause me to masturbate any less. I would be like: �Man, I am bored� maybe I should� NO�It hurts! � Oh come on, it doesn�t hurt THAT much� No, it TOTALLY does; you cried last time. But the total pleasure outweighs the pain right? No, you fool�.it doesn�t Well�maybe we will go just until we are about to and then we�ll stop! And at that point it would be over�and I would be forced into an eternity of masochistic pain. And the final thing I think about it guilt. The post pleasure guilt. It�s strange, I have talked about this with other guys, and frankly it seems this is across the board�but the feeling is� What have I done!!! I know it�s strange but that�s the penalty for self pleasure. Anyway I never get this feeling when I am with the ladies. I think because the ladies are usually like WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!! No, but when you are with a girl, I think that just right, and I don�t really get anything except that warm fuzzy comfortable feeling. Sometimes, however, you get the sleepy feeling, and then sometimes a hungry feeling� But mostly when I am with a girl, I love to snuggle afterwards. Kerbang was writing about the intimacy and affection that he misses when he saw the relationship of our two friends, and I agree, I think I would miss that the most too. I have taken for granted, sometimes, the snuggling and the hugging and the affection that I can have with a girl. It so nice sometimes. I guess I just like the feeling of someone sleeping next to me who I can put my arms around and for some reason my arms make them feel protected and safe. But I still am appalled that girls like guys. I feel like we are just too caveman and dumb, and do really stupid shit sometimes. Like how can a girl stand when her boyfriend tells her that he got real drunk and fought with his friend for no good reason and then they hugged and promised to be friends forever, and then he went to work drunk. How can you love that I ask you? And I suppose that girls can do some silly things too, but for the most part I feel they are the more �socially together� of the two genders. And all of this being said, I still don�t know why girls like me? My friend Trout said it best once, as he recalled in a story. As he looked around the entire school auditorium, he looked at all the people sitting and watching the Pep rally for our football team. He was a freshman, and kept getting entranced by all the amazingly attractive girls from wall to wall. And at that moment he had a revelation. He realized that someday he is supposed to have sex. And then he realized that this would mean one of these girls would have to allow him to put his penis in their vagina. And that�s when he thought, �No girl is ever going to let my penis anywhere near their vagina.� And that�s how I feel sometimes�no girl should let my penis anywhere near their vagina, but it happened. And I am at a loss. Here is a survey about �sex�that will probably make me sound insane. It�s skewed towards straight girls, so please don�t be offended. Please fill it out hypothetically the best you can though. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this�I am now totally embarrassed. | |||||||||||
