2003-06-11 - 1:18 p.m. Awakening 10 Awakening 10 Sometimes you wake up, from a deep sleep, by an alarm or the sun�s ray. Your eyes are cloudy and your vision is wobbly. You struggle forward in an insanely routine fashion to begin your day. You are awoken to the day, but you have just been born into it. You aren�t really awake. Some people need coffee. Others need a warm shower. Some just need their trip on the bus or a kind word from a friend. But no matter what, at some point you wake up each day, after you rise from bed. You awake to sharpness and a clarity that you didn�t have when you first rose. You are aware of your environment. This happens in your life as well. I have made my way through many days, just counting the minutes, the seconds, until my time was mine again. I have breathed the air and not tasted its freshness I have had conversations with my headphones on, out of obligation and politeness I have driven my car without looking at the scenery around me, losing time on the road. But I do, sometimes, awaken to life. Sometimes I connect. Sometimes I am aware. Sometimes I believe in things. I awake to the system of life and the complexity of the world. My mind is no longer dulled by the routine nature of the universe and my existence. Anything can do it. A question that�s never been asked before, causing me to reflect on what was said; on what it means. Causing me to examine a decision that I made, or an event that happened. I have to examine my life. The good, the bad, and everything in between. From times when I made decisions that would never want to make again, to moments of beauty and elegance. As our life passes we are sitting in the car watching out the window. Sometimes it seems like life goes by like the little white hash marks on the highway; so similar and constant they don�t warrant a second look. But occasionally we see something that makes us slow down. Sometimes I think that my life is so boring that I feel like a human file, waiting in a stack to be boxed up. Sometimes I never think to read the writing on the sheets. But then, I awaken. My senses become magnetized. My perception deepens, and then things begin to make sense. Things begin to have beauty again. I understand the awe of my childhood. The initial spender of experiencing something for the first time. The electricity of understanding the pain of others. Experience is the key. You can only experience something unknown once. You can only have one first love. Do you remember the first time you heard the word �no?� You can only surprise yourself every now and then. But it happens. It happens to all of us. The key is to not be numb to it. The key is to relish the smell of the air, the voice of your friends, the tears in your eyes, the tremble of the flesh. Be ready for life. You can�t go back. You only have but moments to experience this world. The rest is just dreams and deadness. | |||||||||||
