2004-11-03 - 10:40 p.m.

Suvery Of the Gods

We need a Hero running for political office.

I mean how could you say no?

1. Tell me something obvious about you.

I�m a ninja.

2. Tell me something about you that many don't know.

My liver was given to me by Balbest, the chief baboon leader in the lower Antilles. . He wanted to give me a heart, but the Baboon heart was actually to small for me, so instead he got me a liver, because of my aptitude for drinking, a second liver was what I needed. I gave him my spleen (cause who needs that POS) and I think he traded that for a bundle of bananas.

Daylight come and me want a Baboon.

3. What is your biggest fear?

Forgetting what my greatest fear is. Because if I forget what I fear, then how can I avoid it? Then I will really be shitting my pants, wondering if the next thing I see just might be my greatest fear.

4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?

This is just so ridiculous that it was even asked of me.

5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with money.

More money. Because trust me, if they were having a sale on money, I would be there�unless it was held in Russia or Argentina. The ruble is worth nothing.

6. What is your most treasured possession?

Simple: My 1997 collectors� edition release of the amazing movie known as Batman and Robin. I won�t give away the plot because I know you will all run out to see it, but here are some of the Shakespearian lines delivered during the amazing movie. It�s just amazing.

Cop: Please show some mercy!
Freeze: My condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy.

Henchman: Sir! Sir! You've gotta see this!
[Freeze freezes him]
Mr. Freeze : I hate it when they talk during the movie.

Poison Ivy : He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me ...
Mr. Freeze : NOT! Surprise, I am your new cell mate. And I'm here to make your life a living hell. Prepare for a bitter harvest. Winter has come at last.

Mr. Freeze : What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!

Mr. Freeze : In this universe, there's only one absolute... everything freezes!

Mr. Freeze : I will blanket the city in endless winter. First Gotham, and then the world.
Poison Ivy : Just what I had in mind. Everything dead on earth, except us. A chance for Mother Nature to start again. Behold, the dawn of a new age. My mutant plants have the strength of the deadliest animals. Once you have frozen mankind, these babies will overrun the globe, and we shall rule them, for we will be the only two people left in the world.
Mr. Freeze : Adam and Evil!

7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?

I forget how smart I am. Oh and how attractive and awesome I am. I forget a lot of amazing things about how amazing I am. I should write them down, and have a lapdog read them to me as I sleep.

8. Tell me something sexually about you that I don't know.

Remember cookie monster? He was originally a porn actor named �Cockmonster� which was based on me when I dyed my pubic hair blue. The idea of cookie monster came from when in my final film we played Ookie Cookie.

9. Tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows.

I have crabs.

10. What is your favorite lie to tell?

I have crabs.

11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again.

Once I ate an entire ruler. I mean, I liked it. I want to do it again, but like, who uses rulers anymore.

12. Are you the jealous type?

Well, I wouldn�t spend my own money to have someone killed. I might steal their money and use it to kill them! So no. I am not the jealous type.

13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to?

The cops when tell me to spread them. Its just something about a man in uniform with a gun to your head.

14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?

Not truthfully answering this question.

15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?

Checkers. Checkers with knives. And when you would say king me, you would get a katana. I have no actual idea how a game like that would work.

16. When was the last time you cried?

When I found out that the family horse had crabs. But at least I found out where they came from.

17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?

When I got an anal cavity search at the airport.

18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?

Lets just say if the sign said NO SHIRT: STILL SERIVCE, I would be there number one customer.

19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk.

All I know is I passed out in some 7-11 and next thing I know I woke up tied to a stone with a Shaman saying �Soon Kal-e-ba Will Rule the World� and he took my heart out. Last time I take vodka suppositories. .

20. If you post this in your journal would you like me to answer it?

I am posting this in my diary. But if you take it, you have to take some of my crabs too. Don�t worry. After a while they will become like the roach�s from Joe�s apartment. Really annoying and disgusting.

Take this survey if you want. I know it sucked, but it�s Thursday. Give me a break�and stuff.

before - After

17 comments so far