2003-07-21 - 2:40 p.m. Sara Silverman I deleted my last entry because I thought it was going to run with a banner. A bruce banner. But instead, I realized that it has to be approved. Hence, I will wait to re-post that entry. Until then. Jimmy Kimmel has a new girlfriend. A girl who I think is extremely funny. Her name is Sara Silverman. She is edgy, and has the most foul mouth I have seen on a girl in a long time. Yet she remains funny. If she doesn�t offend you she has failed. Here are some examples: Her first routine was a commentary slot on "Weekend Update" in which she spoke about the twenty-four-hour waiting period some states were requiring prior to an abortion. She said: "Quite frankly, I think it's a good law. I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion.... And it turns out I was just thirsty." She is also sarcastic as hell. Check out this interview which went really bad: SportsHollywood: When you play basketball with John Cusack and Bill Fishman, how often do they suggest a game of shirts vs, skins with you, where they wear the shirts? SILVERMAN: I've never played b-ball with John Cusak, I"ve only played at the court he has in his office. But, yes, that HI-LARIOUS shirts/skins joke is made by some comic genius just about every time I play, and each time I fall to the ground laughing while I piss and shit myself in comic awe. SportsHollywood: What is the worst sports movie ever made? SILVERMAN: Schindler's List. Sara sez: A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis, and I thought, Oh, my God-I'm turning into my mother! Sara sez (directly to Jennifer Love Hewitt): My god you are so beautiful. People compare you to the modern day Audrey Hepburn. Wow. That must be really scary? I mean, to know you are going to die of colon cancer. � Jennifer is what we know in the industry as a triple threat. She�s an actress, a dancer, and a really bad singer�.(Jennifer looks annoyed). Awww. That would have been funnier when you were famous. Sara Sez: "I saw my father naked once . . . But it was okay . . . Because I was soooo young . . . and sooo drunk." Sara Sez: "The writers of Sanford and Son were so brave in bringing their program to television. I mean, working with all those black people!" Sara Sez: Jimmy, love of my life, the first time I saw you on TV, you were doing a late night show on ABC. I didn�t know that though. I thought it was an infomercial for �boring�. Also, thanks for the herpes, this has been the best anniversary of my abortion ever. Sara Sez:"I'm going out with a guy who's half-black, who's totally going to break my heart......Oh my God. I can't believe I said that. I'm so negative. He's half-white." Sara Sez: One think I learned in show business is to never say the word �gooks� in show business�.unless you want your career to sky rocket!!! Sara Sez: "I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in and he says [in a clenched, abrupt voice], 'I want pussy!' Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but [rolling her eyes, both embarrassed and proud] he was talking about me. It offended me, obviously, but more than offending me, it made me feel sorry for him. It made me sad. Because it was so obvious to me that this was a person who grew up and who was a child whose mother and father never gave him any pussy." You gotta love a funny girl. �. I hope you are offended. | |||||||||||
