2005-06-20 - 4:06 p.m.

Sex Scadals and America's Youth

There was an incident in Milton MA that involved a girl who was caught having oral sex with 5 hockey players. It was at Milton Academy and the situation at a glance appears that the girl was forced to do it. Being 15 years old, 2 of the boys were also 15, 3 were over 16 were brought up on statutory rape counts.

I have been thinking about this case a lot.

Here is the story

The three young men charged with statutory rape in an incident at Milford Academy were sentenced to two years probation the other morning after apologizing to the victim and her family.

I feel that this punishment is appropriate. Let me tell you why.

I am against people being forced to do anything they don�t want to do. I feel that often times these results in even a little dehumanization of a person which makes them feel a little less like they are worth of being a part of society. I feel this often times happens to women. I don�t want to get on a soapbox, because it�s a pretty universal point.

But what I do want to say is that this girl seemed to have a history of sexual exploitation, and thus it leads me to believe that she was not forced this particular time, which puts the boys in an unfair situation.

If someone is 16 sleeping with 15 years old is normal. Statutory rape is to set a mark for older more mature adults avoid exploiting youth�s sexuality. The biggest two problems with statutory rape are that 1) It is called �rape� which implies something that this may not have been and 2) It overlooks intent. This means that if you have a girlfriend whose birthday is a month away from yours, and you turn 16 and she�s still 15, you will go to jail.

There is an article here discussing more of Massachusetts Legal issues with the terminology and legality of these laws (actually written by a lawyer

That being said, the reason the law exists is because it is assumed that all people under the age of 16 engaging in sex are unknowingly being coerced into it. There is truth in that.

This was not this girls first time giving oral sex. She had been doing this on multiple occasions before and after the event. Donovan Slack of the Boston Globe writes, �

�In the newly discovered episode, two hockey players and another 15-year-old male student requested and received oral sex from the girl in a boys locker room on Sunday, Jan. 23, the letter says. The school had previously reported that on Jan. 22, the same group engaged in the same sex acts in a boy's dorm room and that on Jan. 24, the hockey players, joined by three teammates, received oral sex again from the girl in the boys' locker room.

The school also reported a fourth episode to authorities yesterday, this one at a downtown hotel room, according to a state official briefed on the report. The same girl and two of the same hockey players allegedly attended a birthday party Feb. 12 at the Courtyard by Marriott hotel, where some guests engaged in sex acts, said someone who has spoken with students at the party and a school official who spoke on condition of anonymity. �

So let�s go over the general about what I think. The first thing is forced sex is wrong. The second is the younger children and teenagers mostly learn about sex through experimenting. The third is that a group of older boys having sex/oral sex with a younger girl is sketchy at best, and despite her apparent willingness I imagine that this is not the best situation to get involved with at 15 to establish a healthy attitude towards sex.

So I guess I think the problem is that the boys got the blame. But in nothing I read did anything that occurs seem that malicious. It seemed that she enjoyed doing it, and continued to invite them over. It also seemed that they did not force themselves upon the girl directly.

So they were caught, she left school, they got put on trial, except the one under 16 who was just held out of school.

Seems like weird punishment between peers.

What I think happened is a bunch of kids that were experiencing sex without really knowing what they were doing or the repercussions of said act. I am certain the girl didn�t know that society would now see her as a whore. I�m certain the guys didn�t think out the repercussions that this would have on her. I think that she liked the attention, and they liked getting head and no one though more than that.
Should the boys go to jail over this? They should certainly become aware of the damage they may have caused her, her family, and the school. I am certain that the boys were unaware of the repercussions. When you are that young, and have little to no knowledge about what is right, wrong, inappropriate, and appropriate I hardly think jail is a punishment that will rehabilitate them and make them less of a threat.

Kids find out about sex in many different and terrifying ways. I wonder how many people would ever want their own children to find out about sex the same way they did?
How would you want your kids to find out about sex? The most common answer I�ve heard is �in a safe way.� Unaware of the correct way, I think most parents fear damaging situations, vs harmless experimentation.

I remember I took Sex Ed in 8th grade. The regular teacher taught the course as a biology class. We learned about ovaries and uterus and semen and fallopian tubes, and spent one day discussing slang terms. Worthless.
I would go on to fumble through the idea of sex for most of my teenage life, only really getting things right with rumors and trial and error. My friends never really discussed sex itself, only the attractiveness of ladies. The first time I really realized what oral sex was, was watching a porno called Kinkorama 7 at a friend house in the basement with like 6 of my friends in a weird sorta informational video that never should have been seen.

In retrospect, the movie only showed strange acts of sex that were completely fake. This was slightly damaging.

The best experience I had was with a substitute teacher who filled in for that Sex Ed class. Could there be a stranger or harder substituting?

Anyway, this middle aged women, not particularly attractive or unattractive sat there for 50 minutes and probably told me in the most frankness and accuracy about sex, but in a very informative manner. She told us about how its awkward and messy, and how its hot sometimes and cold other times and how the body fits together and how men and women do it for different reasons.

She was honest and said that it was enjoyable and fun, and because of that people did it a lot outside of being married. She said the reason why its encouraged that people be married is because it makes sex safer because of dieses. It makes sex better because you trust the person you are with. It makes sex better because you can discover what it is that you enjoy.

I wish that I lived in a place where we would understand that teaching children about themselves including their sexuality.

I am not interested in corrupting the youth. I just am interested in letting someone they can trust teaching them about a much ignored part of who they are.

before - After

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