2003-12-09 - 10:59 a.m. Lisa Just cause this is the first time I am doing this, I will describe some of the weirder categories before I go into them. Friend: Lisa Nickname Risa Screen name Elitedefness Quick Profile: A gothy/alternative/80�s-slave girl who likes video games, food, and comedy. Current Status: Lisa is my current roommate. She lives above my room, where she surfs the internet. How I met Lisa: I first met Lisa on the information superhighway. I was searching for roommates for my new castle, and several of my friends backed out of the place I found. However, with a super cheap rent I was not afraid of getting another roommate. I found Lisa looking for a room, and I offered to talk with her, and we spoke. In that conversation I promised her something. I promised that Kerbang and I would be completely respectful and kind to her if she lived with us. I told her that Kevin was clean, but had some odd qualities, which I would best describe as him being a cartoon character. She told me that I seemed very nice, and Kerbang and I arranged to meet her at a mall in front of Kohls. I found Lisa to be very genuine and very articulate. She seemed to be older than she was, but at the same time still young and fun. Kerbang and I both agreed that she would be a good match, and were pretty impressed with her. However, when we met her in front of the mall for the first time, I believe Kerbang commented, �Oh man, what color is that car?� because despite him being colorblind and it being night, he could recognize teal and cars shouldn�t be mixed. Length of Friendship Lisa and I have been friend for about three months, though she would probably say that we are no longer friends, because I am annoying and I can�t be her friend anymore cause she tried to spill water on me. You see last night she was making jambalaya or something, using Kevin�s Kielbasa and I was trying to ask her some questions. Now I might have been a little annoying�like because I was kicking her leg and asking what she was doing. She threatened my life a lot. But then, I was not allowed to sit at the kitchen table, because Lisa didn�t let me use a stool, so I sat on the floor. Sure, I was trying to put my hands in her food, and I guess grabbing her fork and trying to take it wasn�t helpful, but then she just dumped a glass full of water on me. I almost drowned!!! Anyway. We are still friends � for now � Superpower Lisa�s superpower is the ability to not take any shit. Lisa is tough, and will not put up with crap. She will fight for the underdog, beat up her annoying roommate (or try to melt him with water), stand up to her boss, and throw down with the local police. This is one chick you don�t push around. Shelly even said that Lisa �can hold her own against you nutcases.� Superhero Weakness Every Crime fighter has a weakness. Lisa�s is fear. She cannot handle something supernaturally scary. Example: She won�t go into the bowling alley because it�s �Freaky at Night� or something like that. Example: She comes down and see us setting up a lifesize Arnold Swartzenager figure. She knows it�s in the hallway. We leave it there. When she comes home after work, she is so scared she nearly wets herself. Example: When I hid the rubber snake in her room and she flipped out when she saw it. We�ll I haven�t done it yet, but I am certain that she will flip out when she sees it. Most Annoying Habit . Lisa has a bad memory short term memory. Oh she�ll remember who looked at her funny on the Subway for years later, but if she wakes up and goes downstairs to get water, she�ll come back up with a cantaloupe and magazine and wonder why she�s so thirsty. In fact, our first night in the house she put a corona in the fridge for some reason, and about three day�s later I chiseled it out of the freezer. She�ll leave water boiling, chicken defrosting in the sink, and her milk out. It�s just one of the many things that make us love her. Drunkest Sighting Last weekend Lisa puked. She puked cause she has white Russians (kaluha, vodka, and cream) Some red wine, and some light beer. She didn�t make it deep into the evening being the first puker at apox nine thirty in the evening. She headed straight for bed. She was real drunk. She even managed to knock a half full win bottle off a shelf and onto her head. It apparently �killed.� Most endearing Quality She is very sweet and playful. You can fuck around with her, and she won�t take it personally. She will play video games, she will talk trash about people, she will watch a movie with you, and she will even toss blue balls at your head if so inclined. She is really fun to be around, and Kerbang again summed up my feelings pretty well. �I would be sad if Lisa left.� Source of Respect She protects her friends and family. She does almost anything for them despite them being complete dickheads sometimes. Anyone who can give like that is someone who I greatly respect. Best Talent Lisa is a very good cook, and I am sure I could do better if I knew her longer, but I have been most impressed with her cooking thus far in the talent department. Video Game Personification (this category is the video game that describes you) Lisa is a video game addict, but mostly the old classics, not the knew slick stuff. She does have a modicum of talent at most the new games, but it�s the old ones she is the best at. I think I will pick her Animal Crossing as the video game that best describes Lisa. She showed me this game like the third day I knew her. In the game a little animal runs around and digs up bones and sells them to buy clothes. For the first 15 minutes of the game she cleaned the video game house she lived in. I was fairly confident that she was going to be a clean roommate. Thing they THINK they are the best at, but are not Lisa probably sees herself as very industrious able to get things done and taken care of. She does do things, but I think in her heart she is a procrastinator and enjoys sleep a lot. I have seen her bail out on trips to go do things because it took her too long to get going, or she just really doesn�t want to go. I�m not saying that Lisa doesn�t do anything, because she does. I just think that she enjoys not doing anything more than doing things. Thing they think they SUCK at but are actually good Lisa told me, when I first met her, that she was very shy and not very outgoing. She doesn�t seem to think that she does well in social situations, but I would like to disagree. We all liked her right away, and then whenever our friends come over they also really enjoy her company. For some reason Lisa doesn�t think that she does well in those settings, when I think she excels. Best Quote Lisa: �Um, Gump�is the washer big enough for my down comforter? Gump: �Actually no, it�s not big enough for that. Good thing you asked.� Lisa: �Well actually, it�s already in there�fuck.� Farting Quality Lisa is a good farter. She mostly keeps it to herself, but can bring it out of the booth for the right company�or if you are being sassy to her. Hygiene Lisa is very clean, and neat. For a kinda goth/alternative girl she is a clean freak. She washes the bathroom tub, cleans the dishes, and buys ass wipes. I confess I was scared by the ass wipes, but I used one�and it was�refreshing. Best T-Shirt I like the 1-up shirt the most which just has the green mushroom on it that give you an extra life. Most childish possession Well, it�s cool, but I am going to say this Kermit the Frog she has hanging up. It doesn�t really go with the room, but it�s still cool. I have been looking for a Mr. Pippy Pants or other funny childhood stuffed animal, but I have come up short. Most mature possession I will have to say that�s her new bed. It defiantly is a pretty mature bed considering Kevin lives on a sex bed, and kerbing sleeps on a bunk bed. Plus Lisa slept on an air mattress for like two months, until Sharon came and she finally got the motivation to get a real bed. Now she�s real boy. Or girl� Coolest Moment We were playing Beruit (beer pong) together and we hit both hit at the same time for the second time that game. We jumped in the air at the same time and give each other a high five. Drunk? Yes. Cool? Absolutely. Lowest Moment Same night, when she was laughing so hard in her room at what I was doing to her, that she couldn�t tell me stop. She could only manage to mutter our the word �pee� in between her laughs, as I bounced a large blue ball of her stomach as she was rolling all over the floor. She later puked. Vice Sleep. The girl likes to sleep. She works odd hours, but sometimes I will come home and she will be in bed or just getting up. She stays up WAY to late. Virtue This girl is really respectful and thankful. What ever Kerbang and I have done to help her out, she has both thanked and paid us for. Who ever raised her, raised her well, cause she has never come even close to offending us. How they will die Lisa will die one day from a Large Metal Robot who will come after her, shouting phrases like, �I�ll be back, I�m your governor, I am detective John Kimball, and Ice to Meet you.� She will either die of a heart attack or of a phlamgemum explosion. (I just made that word up) Heaven or Hell Despite all the black she wears, she�s too nice a person at heart. That robot�s sending her to heaven. Biggest Contradiction Lisa won�t take any shit from people, and yet she is so afraid of things. Plus she really likes scary movies, even though they scare the shit out of her and give her nightmares. I don�t get it. If I hate something, I usually avoid it. It�s not like I puke every time I eat eggs, and I make an omelet every morning. Crazy Lisa�crazy. Five Greatest things about Knowing them 1) She�ll cook for you 2) She�s ready to do anything and everything that you suggest. 3) She�s into buying things and helping with things to make everything better. 4) She�s humble enough so that she knows that she�s good, but doesn�t make herself into a martyr. 5) Living with Lisa makes the house cooler, and also makes me feel happy to know that there is someone there I can rely on. ~Gump | |||||||||||
