2003-12-10 - 10:42 a.m. Kerbang Friend: *o** T***o* *at** Nickname: Cakes Screen name: Kerbang Quick Profile: A film making Hipster who longs for infrequent assignments, and extended vacations. Current Status: Kerbang is my current roommate. He technically lives in the big room across from mine, but he actually sleeps on an inflatable couch in his van. How I met Lisa: I met Kerbang at a party that my friend Will had at his small house on the Lake. This encounter was where I met a great deal of my future friends, but I did not remember much about Kerbang from this encounter. Kerbang and I were not great friends in middle school, because we didn�t really have the same classes together, but in High School we became great friends as we shared lots of interestes and played lots of dorky games. Games ranging from Assassins to Magic the Gathering. Length of Friendship: Kerbang and I have been friends since my 7th grade of middle school. To this day, I cannot remember how we all ended up in that one place together. You see, we weren�t friends before, but we were certainly friends after. It was very strange. I don�t recall knowing any of these people before that date. Of the group that was there, I am still friends with all but two. Kerbang is one of the ones I am still friend with. Superpower: Kerbang Superpower is to make anyone Late And I am not talking pregnancy here people. This kid runs on his own clock. And he�s late according to that clock. Unclepumkin and I estimate that Kerbang is most likely usually at least 30 minutes late and can be as late as two hours. And it really doesn�t matter what your habits are�he�s gonna make you run late. Sharon, who says she is always on time, showed up about 45 minutes late to a meeting we had cause Kerbang was with her. It�s not like I got mad�I just knew that Kerbang slows life down a little bit. You would think he was from the South. (Kerbang comment to that is �I was born in the South�) Superhero Weakness Kerbang�s biggest weakness is his Brother. Now, this has nothing to do with his brother being awful or terrible or anything like that: What it has to deal with is how his brother can knock Kerbang around. Kerbang�s brother can bring out the worst in Kerbang by saying things that Kerbang must correct, or argue about. With his Brother, he can�t back away from a fight, and when those two fight, they fight like dogs. Example: One time at my old apartment, they got so mad at each other that his brother left to get in the car and drive off and Kerbang chased after him. His brother came back because he didn�t know how to get home. Kerbang and him argued all night. Example: This one time Kerbang insisted that he was right, and his brother corrected him, and in fact, his brother was correct. Kerbang was in an awful mood for like four hours. Most Annoying Habit . Kerbang insists that he is always right. And as far as it goes, he is an intelligent person who has clear, thought out positions and in general is correct. But the fact remains that he believes that he is always correct. If he is ever caught not being correct, he will claim to not have had enough information. Dingus and I feel that this is funny, because like everyone, Kerbang can be wrong, but he�ll never admit it. Dingus will be baited into arguing with Cakes over things just on the quest to show him that he is wrong, but Kerbang will insist that he was correct all along. This is his most annoying habit. Drunkest Sighting Though he puked a few nights ago, I have been with him far too long to call that experience as Kerbang�s most drunk. A few times come to mind; Montreal, Becca�s Party (though I don�t remember too much from that), as well as times at Trouts, but I think the Cake (haha) taker is that party at Becky�s house. That time when Kerbang and Dingus wrestled on the lawn until Kerbang puked. We put away some serious beer that night, and Kerbang was wrecked. However, I was tempted to say the time you tried to pee in the bottle in your car, but I wasn�there. Best Lie Told: There was this story that Kerbang and Unclepumkin came up with. They had gone to Dunkin Donuts for a bit, and they met up with some local brew stacks. These townies decided to challenge my two friends, and Pumkin, a minor hothead who speaks with actions over words kneed the townie in the groin. Kerbang, reacting to this shoved the other local to the ground and then they both ran and hid. We believed this story for like four years, until one day when we caught Kerbang being really lazy and demanded that he tell the story�he admitted to it�s complete and utter falsehood. It was a legendary lie. Source of Respect: I think that respect Kerbang most for the ability to stick to his guns. The kid didn�t do much in the way of �typical living� and when it looked like his friends were doing things and he was going to turn into a burnout slacker, he landed a job and advanced in it and worked harder than he�s ever worked before. All of this with almost no complaining either. His handling of this situation gave me a great deal of respect for him. Best Talent Kerbang�s best talent is his ability to reason. He can adapt to almost any situation and able to pick things up very quickly. His knowledge and understanding of things usually grows beyond that of the people around him, and he impresses even Sam and I with how quickly he picks up on things. Video Game Personification Kerbang is best seen in the game of X-Com, an old computer turn based game. It was like a game of chess in a way, with an element of randomness involved in the game play. You see this game best suits Kerbang because it holds the main elements of what he excels in. First is the ability to manage limited resources. There is a defined structure and the pieces (the squads) are limited by actions per round. They can move, use an item, or take a fighting action. The second is the ability to reason. Kerbang can usually figure out the best methods to attack, the best ways to assault, and the best items to use when, and the most likely attacking method of the enemy. The Third this is that all of the previous is done without a time limit. Kerbang is slow, not mentally slow, but doesn�t like to make quick decisions. He likes to go over all the options and then choose the best one. He can think on his feet, but he is best when he has time to make the best decision. Thing they THINK they are the best at, but are not: Kerbang thinks that he has a very high dexterity, when in reality, it�s probably just a bit above average. He�s not stumbling around everywhere, but his manual dexterity skills that he does posses come from his ability to think, and not his actual hand eye coordination. I am not saying that it�s bad, just that it�s not as good as he thinks it is. Thing they think they SUCK at but are actually good: Well this is a hard one, because it�s so difficult to pin down something that Kerbang doesn�t have a good personal knowledge of what he is good and not good at (that is to say that he is very self-aware), but I would have to say keeping good relationships. Kerbang has spoken a few times on how he sometimes thinks that he is bad at keeping in touch with people, but as far as our friends for I think that he is one of the best. I seen him talk to people out in California, friends from College, friends from High School, girls in Scotland, and work people, and do it all gracefully. And yet, I bet that he didn�t think he was that good with keeping up friendships. Best Quote: If you are ever so drunk that you need to pee in a bottle while you are in a moving car, rest assured that bottle will not be large enough to hold the pee. Weird Habit Kerbang is a one trick pony. He likes to learn one thing and master it. When we play fantasy video games he is a fighter. When we play fighting games he picks one guy to master, when we play strategy games he pick one race and never plays another one. He makes this decision usually very early, and almost never changes. It�s weird. It�s like he never wants to try anything different. Hygiene Kerbang is a pretty clean person. He is not a neat person, but he is clean. Anytime he doesn�t shower its because he�s been at work for 48 hours. He always cleans his dishes. He never makes a mess. He does leave crap lying around. He doesn�t �put things away� but he remains to be very germ free. Cluttered, not messy. It�s a strange and wild line that Kerbang walks. Best T-Shirt It�s a old, old T-shirt that was once white and now nothing close to that color that has a Crocodile holding a sign that says, �What a Croc.� Most childish possession: Kerbang doesn�t own much, but it�s clearly his bunk bed. He had to get another bed to have sex on, because the bunk bed doesn�t really �get the ladyz.� Most mature possession: I think that it�s the rug that he put in the room he lives in now. The rug is just not something anyone under the age of 23 would own. I would dare say not many under 26 would own it, but Kerbang got it and it looks great. Coolest Moment: THIS: Lowest Moment: This time in High School when all of our friend tried out for the Volleyball team, and he got cut. That sucked. I don�t think he liked that very much. Vice: Video Games. He can get lost in them for weeks if given the chance. It�s gotta be a good one, but when he�s got nothing else to do, he climbs the ranks of video game mastery and ignores most of the real world. Virtue: Kerbang is loyal, helpful, and dependable. Though usually late, he will always come. If he can help you; he will. He�s always going to be there to assist you in whatever you need. I have seen him go to New York for one day to help someone, or fly out to California to help them drive across the country. He doesn�t complain and he doesn�t quit. How they will die: Kerbang will die in a car accident in his late 60�s on his way home from an award ceremony. Heaven or Hell : Despite all the good things about this kid, he will be too sassy to St. Peter, and will be sent to purgatory to live out the rest of his days. Biggest Contradiction: Kerbang is very helpful and very nice, but can be very very sassy. Often times even his closest friends think that he�s being a dicklicker, when in fact, he is just being sassy. He is still perfecting his sassy ways, but he might be telling you that you did a great job, and you might feel like you just got a tongue lashing. Five Greatest things about Knowing them 1) He�s always got time for a Video Game 2) If you need something not only done, but done right� 3) Isn�t afraid of opening the wallet. 4) Will never do something to intentionally hurt you. He might fuck with you, but he�s never trying to upset you. 5) Kerbang is one of the most respectful people I have ever met. Just don�t plan on him showing up on time. | |||||||||||
