2003-12-04 - 12:09 p.m. Gump�s Own Childhood remembrances. Gump�s Own Childhood remembrances. 1) When cartoon movies were cool. Not only were cartoons better, but now a days they make cartoons out of movies. Back in the day the movie was the culmination of the awesomeness of the cartoon. Rainbow Bright, the Care Bear Movies, Transformers the Movie, and who can forget the Live Action He-Man with Daulp Lundrendn. Ho, I didn�t spell that right. 2) When Kelly, Jesse, Zach, and A.C. were cool. Now, Saved by the bell was pretty much one of the best shows going. And these kids were the best, but Screech and the tolkin black girl (was her name Tiffany, or like Heather�who knows) were pretty weak. I remember girls totally crushing on these guys. Some liked the dimpled A.C. manly Slater more, while I was more of a cute and cuddly Zach man. Actually I was Kelly guy. Remember the college years. Neither do I. 3) 90210; Two twins, one pale, one with a permanent flattop, move to Beverly Hills from Minnesota. They meet up with two dimension chareters like Steve, the rich ass, David, the wigger, Donna, the rich executives daughter who has a eating disorder, Kelly, want to touch the �, and Dillion, everyone�s favorite 42 year old teenager. I couldn�t get enough of this show. From the heightend drama of �Donna Summers Graduate� to when Brandon trashed his parents car I was hooked. I kept watching far too long. My personal favorite was the Dillion, Kelly, Shannon switch. You best believe I would dump dumpy Doherty for Jenny Garth. 4) The Koosh Ball I had one before Rosie. It was the dumbest ball ever. 5) Glow Worm, Playdough, and Lite Bright. I got a concussion from trying to hug the Glow worm and being hit by it�s harden skull, I got sick from eating playdough that didn�t actually turn into food (true story), and I got third degree burns from the lite bright as I was trying to construct the word �FUCK.� These were great toys. I later liked that novelty pins thing, where you had a bunch of pins you would hold your hand to and make a design. I liked cause everyone that�s ever lived did the middle finger. 6) The Snorks The Smurfs went for a swim, and never came back. 7) Flannels and plaid I don�t know how people in the South caught on with this trend, but god I loved it. I lived in these things, and it was clutch during the winter. It was a little weird that my grandfather�s hunting jacket was now extremely cool. 8) Hypercolor? What were they good for? Absolutely nothing. I had 10. I feel that the biggest problem with the hypercolor was that everyone would want to touch you to make it change colors. And they wouldn�t gently place their hand on you. Nope, they would apply a slap to turn the shirt from red to pink. Also the only OTHER thing they were good for was revealing sweat stains. Gump got all the girls. 9) Blame it on the Rain: Milli Vannili I am still laughing at this group. It was like Prince meets Bel vid Divo. Forget their songs; their style was just awful. Nothing like me an my flannels. 10) Batman: The Movie There was just such a huge scene around this movie. I remember lines and lines of people who went to see it. I mean I did. It was just perfect for the time, and I wouldn�t say it was a huge part of childhood, but it�s a memory. 11) McDonalds had much better Happy Meal Toys Now a days they are mostly used a promotions. I remember when they would have bitching hot wheels, or these really Japanese robots. I loved the toys there. They were both original and could play with them. Now you get like Pocahontas sitting on a log. She doesn�t move, she doesn�t fight, and she�s not a robot. I�m sorry, but I resent the new toys. 12) BUM Equipment I never had one, but I bet you did!!! I liked the Champion Sweatshirts more. One time I bought purple Skidz M.C. Hammer pants. I never wore them cause I felt like a Big Top Clown. Plus my boys had no binding control. You know what I mean. 13) Snow: Vanilla Ice 2? You tried to sing along to "Informer", no matter how hard it was. You still aren�t sure whether or not Snow was Vannilla Ice or not. I don�t even think the internet knows. I lick your boom boom down. 14) You wore overalls with only one side connected I actually have fond memories of this, cause girls would get away with wearing this little haltertops underneath and I could see their bellies. This one time, I was dating this girl, and I used these overalls to my advantage. 15) Sesame Street and the Muppet Show Probably the best �muppet� performances that you will ever see. Better than cartoons, better than Mr. Rodgers. It was smart enough to not talk down to us, and yet it was a learning tool. They were both brilliant shows. Three words. PIGS IN SPACE!!!!!!!! 16) You actually purchased tape singles. In fact, you MADE mix tapes. Raise your hand if you made a mix tape. Raise your hand if you still have them despite the fact that you haven�t listened to one in years. I don�t even have a tape player and I still have all those mix tapes. Thank god for the CD. 17) TLC Before they chased waterfalls they dressed like they were in the circus. Who wears an egg over there eye? 18) I�ve got the Power The theme song to the Super Mario Bros movie, which no one has seen. 19) Scrunchy�s in your pony tail Because of my youth, I am turned on by the pony tail. Girls had it easier then. But I sometimes I would see this giant scrunches and just wonder, why can�t I wear them. In High School one time we did a re-working of MacBeth in a gangster form, and I got to put little elastics in my hair to make it all crazy. It was mint. 20) HHW Girls today wear thongs and G-strings. But I bet they wish they wore Haines Her Way. Those big cotton panties. At least in my town, it was HHW for every girl we ever had the delight to de-pants. 21) Boyz II Men and En Vogue I think they died in a plane crash. Or at least their careers did. Talk about Huge to nothing. I want to see a �whatever happened to� 22) Color Me Badd No one could argue these guys were badd. They had something like five actual hits, all from that debut/last album. I always wanted them to make a video for the song "Color Me Badd" so the MTV title card would read... Color Me Badd "Color Me Badd" Color Me Badd Giant Records I imagine lots of the girls from the Rico Sauv� video would show up for this shoot. 23) Female Not-Hotties I remember masturbating a lot back in High School, but I can�t really remember what to. You see I found a list of the female artist of the day. I don�t think any of them are hot�prove me wrong�he is the list: Karyn White, Cathy Dennis, Sinead O'Connor, Celine Dion, Taylor Dayne, Cathy Dennis, Suzanne Vega, Crystal Waters, Jane Child, Tara Kemp, Tracie Spencer, Oleta Adams, Lisa Stansfield, Ce Ce Peniston, Jody Watley or Allanah Myles. These were the rock goddess of the early 90�s??? I just liked the Breeders. I can�t really remember any girl groups sticking around. I am pretty sure that I yanked it to Celion Dion a couple times. I felt really dirty afterwards. 24) The Grind (with Erik Neice) Speaking of dirty, I just remember what I got the most bang for my buck out of. The worst part with this show was that as I was doing�.whatever � and I was approaching the �end� the camera would switch back to this large African American guy all glisten up grinding up against a wall or something. I think my feelings were, �Awww Ohhh�God No! Why�oh man�what have I done.� The grind satisfied all of the bi-curious material I would ever need, though I am surprised that I am not mentally scarred. I am no longer Bi or curious. 25) When Disney didn�t need Pixar Aladdin, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and the Lion King; what in the name of god has Disney put out recently to compare? Brother Bear? The Emperor�s New Groove? I am sure they are funny, but come on now� 26) Home Alone I still like this movie. Did the mom in that die in real life? 27) Pretty Woman This and Dirty Dancing are like top two movie I can�t watch without pink slippers. HAHAHA 28) SNL was funny I just remember their skits being a lot funnier then then they are now. Maybe I am wrong but a lot of cast got really big, like Sandler, Hartman, Spade, Meyers, and the lot. I�m here to PUMP-YOU-UP. 29) Wayne�s World I haven�t watched in a while cause I remember it as funny, and I don�t want to be tainted. I just can�t believe it got greenlighted. Then again�didn�t �Pat� get green lighted? 30) The Kids in the Hall Probably the most underrated cross dressers of our time. 31) Cheers This Boston classic was something I shouldn�t have been watching when I was eight. There was so much sex in that show. I still laughed at everything, even though I though the vagina was directly below the belly button. 32) Growing Pains Leo, Kirk, Tracy, and Boner. The worst cast member had to be Ben Seaver. That kid had nothing. When they brought Leo in; Ben Seaver was just like Tracy Golds acting career. Over�. But you know what�I really though the show was funny, and I really liked Tracy Gold. I thought she was hot. 33) Jenna von Oy Then there was blossom. Which featured some u-g-l-y girls. I mean, I remember when beak was on MacGuiver and I thought that she was ugly then. I was like, �Hey Mac, why don�t you get a stick and a dog bone, tie them together with a rope made from Alpacha hair, and throw it. Cause this girls such a dog, she�ll chase anything.� I wasn�t really like that. And Six was pretty ugly too�but Miss Von Oy has grown up a little�or a lot. 34) My Buddy I owned this doll. I think I listened to Raffi�s song about a boy who liked dolls. This inspired me to get a �my Buddy� and later to ejaculate to dancing stud muffins on the Grind. Thank�s Raffi�thanks a lot. 35) Legos The best toy ever? I mean it�s a three dimensional puzzle where you are building something awesome or something that you thought up. I used to play with these bad boys for DAYS. It was so much fun. I also liked it cause both girls and guys could play with legos. I wish that they didn�t suck so much now. They have like Harry Potter and Star Wars legos. What ever happened to making up your own stories with your own toys. Man I am getting old. 36) Bevis and Butthead Their humor made Jackass look like Monty Python. And it�s because of this that made it brilliant. I remember the one where Butthead hit Bevis and knocked him out, and Bevis went to heaven. Butthead tried to bury Bevis in the backyard but got lazy and only dug like a 1 foot hole, and just left him there. It was great. I also remember when the woman sued that show when her kid played with fire. That was awful. 37) The Chris Issak Video �Wicked Games� This video got me through those long nights. This was the best porn on TV before Christina Aguilera. I was just really ridiculous that it made the air. 38) The Collapse of the USSR I think it�s funny I am putting the collapse of the Cold War with the number one jerk off video. But that�s pop culture for you. I remember when this happened that I couldn�t really understand what was going on, but I did know one thing. This was the end of the Iron Eagle franchise. 39) Nintendo Duck Hunt and the Dog. Mario and The Princess being in another castle. Castlevania. Tetris, Zelda, Metroid. The list goes on and on, but this system changed it all. Except for Track and Field. That was dumb. And Boy and His Blob. You feel jellybeans to your blob? What? 40) Gump�s First Make Out Session Probably the greatest day in the early 90�s. There�s nothing better than wild probing tongues and what can only be described as slobber. I will just say that your first time is usually about as messy as trying to shove a pineapple through a mail slot. Ah�the ninties So the question of the day are the following � What was your favorite cartoon from your childhood. | |||||||||||
