2003-09-19 - 11:19 a.m. GOODBYE SWEET HUMANS. Mecha Gump, it�s over. WHAT!?!? You are lame, people are going to think of me and think of you and then think that I am lame and I don�t wan them thinking that about me or you. WHAT!?! Mecha Gump look. You aren�t really that funny. You are sweet or tender. You aren�t that nice. Your notes are kinda annoying. I CAN BE SWEET AND TENDER. Yes and I could lie, and tell you that I believe that, but I won�t. You are canned. I CAN�T BELIEVE YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME. GO TO THE BASEMENT. That is so sad mecha gump. I don�t obey you. You were a gag. A joke. And like all good jokes, I needed a punchline. WHAT IS MY PUNCHLINE FOREST GUMP? It�s �Get the fuck out,� you sassy ashtray. YOU NASTY WORDS HURT MECHA GUMP. MECHA GUMP FEELS LIKE HE IS GOING TO CRY. MAYBE THIS MEANS MECHA GUMP ISN�T ACTUALLY A ROBOT. MAYBE I AM A REAL BOY. No, you are a robot. I programmed you cry. I also programmed you to laugh at the word �lactate� HA HA HA HA BUZZ�. FUCK YOU MY CRUEL MASTER. Fuck me indeed. You were a bad gag mechagump. People didn�t like you. I mean, I expected to get a weekend out of you, but you are to horrible for that. You are like a punchline that lingers in the air, that no one laughs at. DID YOU THINK I WAS FUNNY. I did. I will admit that. You amused me dear robot, but you still suck. You still lack a flair for this human world. KILL ALL HUMANS? That isn�t even that funny. YOU CREATED A MONSTER. I was hoping you would at least be a funny monster. But alas, you are just funny looking. WHAT WILL BECOME OF MECHA-GUMP? Only time will tell. For now I plan on selling you to some Jawas. They, in time, will be killed and you will be released into the wild where I assume you will try to hunt down Sauron�s ring of power, so that you can procure a ship to slingshot around the sun, traveling back in time in hopes that you can kill me when I am a child. Of course since I created you, you would also cease to exist, and I would once again be alive. Then I would take the ring of power that you didn�t use at all, and use it to smite my enemies. Of course I am just speculating. YOUR WORDS OF TERROR TUG AT MY HEART. You don�t have a heart. You have a fuel pump from a 87 chevy nova. IF IT SPURTS AND GUSHS LIKE A HEART, THEN IT IS MY HEART. I put it in your ass. It�s more of a rectal secretion gland. YOU WORDS OF SPECULATION MAKE MY ANAL SECREATION GLAND OOZE. Never say that again. CAN I AT LEAST SEE SOME OF YOUR MINIONS NAKED? Dude, you are really freaking me out. No. No one is getting naked for me, or you. Certainly not you. What did you promise them anyway? BLACK AND WHITE SHAKES. I don�t believe that. I SAID I WOULD SPARE THEIR LIVES. Oh Jesus Mecha-Gump. Great you threatened my readers for sex. That�s fantastic. I am sure that they LOVED that. I HATE YOU GUMP. I WISH I WAS NEVER ASSEMBLED. Well that�s too bad you freaking gear head. I brought you into this world, I will decided when I take you out. You are going to do the following for me before you go back to the pen. 1) Wash my clothes. CHECK 2) Make me lunch CHECK 3) Chill some red wine, not to cold�but a little cold. OKAY 4) Call all my guy friends over. Love is in the air mecha-gump. THAT WAS STRANGLY HOMOSEXUAL GUMP. You really don�t have any sense of humor do you Mecca. Now look sharp or I will exchange your body for a lawnmower. YES MASTER. GOODBYE DIARYLAND. YOU WERE GOOD TO ME FOR SOME TIME, AND IF I EVER REGAIN CONTROL I KNOW WE BOTH LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAD WHEN I CANKILL YOU ALL. | |||||||||||
