2005-09-15 - 1:23 p.m.

Bad Day and Bad Art

Lets start this off with a little back peddling.

Private Entries. The only reason I don�t give out the password is there are some things in there about people that I want to protect, and I speak very freely about certain issues without any clandestine talk with fake names.

So it�s not that I don�t want you to see, but it�s just something that I want to protect.

Also, if I didn�t reply to your email its because I accidentally deleted it or it went into my spam mail. I tried to reply to everyone I got! I snubbed no one, except for her.

Anyway, this week has been long. Very long. A couple Highlights.

1) Train broke down and wouldn�t open doors. Sat there for 30 minutes in the rain, just to end up having to use vacation time because I was late.
2) Last night, I swiped my card at Central Station, just as the train was coming and it locked up on me, and I couldn�t get through. I had to go around and jump the turnstile and missed the train. Major suckage.
3) Tried to take a shortcut last night. You ever take a �shortcut� that you aren�t very sure about? Well I did. I ended up wandering around like a crazy person. It was awful. Then for no reason whatsoever, my hand was covered in black soot. Disaster. Then the trains were down and I had to be bussed to my house. Again, awful. This is because it was on my broken finger hand. I had to use a toothbrush while drunk to clean my hand. It was a low moment.
4) I am dealing with morons in this deal I am doing. I mean MORNONS. One of them fucks everything up in every possible way. I have never seen something handled with less professionalism.
5) When walking home last night someone just yelled �FAG� at me from a passing car. Okay, well that was kinda funny.
6) I have to get my finger looked at tomorrow, bloodwork done, and get an oil change. Anyone else think something gonna go wrong and I�ll end up driving my car with one less finger as its need to feel my car my own blood to make it run? Am I the only one afraid of this?

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On with the show�.

There is a place in Boston called the Museum of Bad Art. They exhibit terrible art, often times found in the trash. I wanted to give them a little free publicity as I talked about some of their exhibits. Here is the info below:

When: Thurs. & Fri., 6-10 p.m.; Sat. & Sun., 1-10 p.m.
Where: Museum of Bad Art, 580 High St., Dedham (781-326-0409).

Jerez the Clown is the stuff nightmares are made of. This is one of the top 3 clowns I wouldn�t want at my birthday party. Have no doubt! This painted to be an evil clown. That faint smile is evil. Egg shaped head, off center hat, strange black eye scars � why would someone paint this?

This Madonna isn�t smiling because she made out with Britney and Christina, she�s smiling because someone thought that would be a good idea to wood burn in a grin. This pretty horrifying statue was found at a church yard sale. I�m not going to church there. Can you imagine Jesus� face on the cross? To me though, I personally think that this figure is a blend of Christian patronage and Edvard Munch�s famous Scream painting.

Lucy In the Field With Flowers was the painting that started the whole museum. Look at it. Look at the shear catastopany of it. (yes I know that�s not a word!) I recommend reading the link about it, at some point. She�s in a chair � In a field�Why? Where is the bottom of the chair? What is the artist capturing? Is this about the loss of beauty and youth, or is it just trying to give me gray hairs?
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds wouldn�t make this better to look at!

Ski Dog is my favorite of all of these paintings Behold the horror. I think the artist was trying to combine a mountain/ski slop with this dog-like creature. But did they just give up down the bottom? Look at the feet! And the top? What happened to this creature? Where are its ears? This is just poor. And its eyes? Its eyes just say �put me out of my misery.�

Suicide is what I want to commit after seriously wondering is that was blood coming out of mother natures eyes, or nostrils. Maybe it was a mythical devil beast teleported to our world, and has given up on life, so I pick it�s nose until it bleeds to death. This is dedicated to anyone who thinks that they can do modern art. Its not art to leave that big white space. I think it might be a dove. It might also be dove poop. This one was collected from the trash. Big surprise.

LESS!!!

Inspiration answers the time old question�what inspires organist to play. I always thought it was money, but in reality it�s Jesus, � and a Monk. Now, that monk. Where is he coming from? Why are the organ pipes ALL OVER THE PLACE. The MOBA calls them �Number 2 pencils.� This painting has a 95% chance that it was painted by an actual organist who wanted to show that he loves Jesus. Not just any Jesus, but New and Improved Rainbow Jesus now with extra lamb!

Stick to your day job.

Think Again is a painting of a ugly bizarre women�s love of horse heads. I�ve heard of horses asses, but this must be where all the heads end up going. I have a feeling this women was not allowed a pony on her 10th birthday�and has turned into the Buffalo Bob of horses ever since.

Final note: Does anyone find it disturbing the horse has better hair than the woman?

before - After

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