2003-04-29 - 11:10 a.m. Gump needed alone time with himself. I saw this commercial for Axe Deodorant. It made me feel really bad. Cause all these girls were saying things about guys which were like �You live with your Mom? That�s so nice.� And �You wanna sleep with me and my sister?� and �You collect comic books? That�s so cool!!!� I felt a knot in my stomach for my complete uncoolness that I injected into diaryland. Then I realized it was six years ago. And I was less mature. Why would I write about that? Then I thought. Remember Big Bird, he was cool. Then I thought, how old are you. Are you talking about Big Bird? Why don�t you go get a diaper and pin it on your ass. �But its alright to like Muppets, right� Gump thought �Muppets MAYBE, but Sesame Street; next your going to be writing that you childhood role-model was that Two Headed Horn Monster,� I stated. �Well the Count was cool; and Cookie Monster.� �You are awful. Why do you write about stupid things like muppets and puppets that were used as a learning tool when you were like eight years old. You probably watched the Disney Afternoon up until Goof Troop.� �No, � maybe�.� Gump Stammers, �Goof Troop Blew� �Yeah, and you know what. You need to grow up you panty waste.� �But if I grow up then what�s left for me. I get to care about things like stocks and dividends and real estate and 401K�s and lawn care. I don�t want to get into Lawn Care. Sitting on the deck talking to my neighbor about lawn grubs. Fuck that.� �But you want to get into muppets and mutants? You gotta live in the real world sometimes,� I was bearing down, but he needed to understand, �Your 23 and your going to have kids and they are going to say; Dad why do you play with my toys all day.� �Screw you, I don�t play with toys. I just like remembering how fun they were. How I used to set up a room full of army men and make up a story about what happened? I don�t do that now!� �No, now you just waste your insomniac nights playing video games. But that�s so much better. You get the magical grappling hook from Zorba yet? Dork.� �Listen, I think you made your point, but its not Like I play with Rainbow Bright, or break out the Transformer action figures every night and play battle for the earth.� �You called your games battle for the earth?� �Listen, the point is I liked some on these things a little too long, and I still enjoy playing some games. Maybe its immature, but lots of people play video games.� �Your missing the point man. You really like this stuff. You don�t look back and say, whoa, I was laaaaame. You say�.good times, good times.� �You think its bad that I enjoyed my youth.� �I think its bad that your wasting your adulthood.� �Would you prefer that I play poker and loose real money, or go to strip clubs, or �mature things like that.� �No, what I would prefer is if you could come to terms with who you are. You don�t want to be some guy who just wastes away trying to recapture your youth. Its one thing to go and watch a movie and say, wow, I really like that movie and that character in it. Its another to come out of the movies and blindfold yourself and start trying to kick your friend cause you want to be daredevil.� �I know. I guess my point is that I just don�t want to grow up into something boring, and if I still enjoy something why can�t I do it. Its not like I buy comic books anymore. I not like that. I�m not like some Sci-fi Trekkie. I guess I am just too comfortable saying something is cool; which makes people think that I really like it, and probably am some sort of freak.� �Listen Freak, we are beating a dead horse. Being dorky is fine. Just learn to watch what you say. People judge you very quickly without knowing you. Your girlfriends thought you were cheating on them because you went to play video games; and were too embarrassed to tell them. People typically think that you�re �normal,� but you keep saying things like �wolverine was my hero� people are going to think differently of you.� �Maybe, but should that matter.� �Oh Fuck you. You just spent two entries trying to justify your dork habits. Don�t think that it doesn�t matter.� �You are right.� �Finish off that birth thing you were doing. That was good.� �Yeah did you like that. I am trying to show my attachment to items instead of people. My belief that sometimes the idea or the items in your past are really what you remember, because unlike people, objects don�t change; they are like pictures, memories that you have forever.� �Or maybe they are funny. HAHAHAHA. Your awful. I mean that.� �Yeah you too.� | |||||||||||
